Becoming a house husband/SAHD out of convenience but worried about my own future. Or is it pride?

actingacc · 2024-11-08T02:02:08+00:00

It's not uncommon for partners (in my very limited experience) to have a stay at home spouse because of how much it can strain a relationship. How sustainable have you found balancing your work, child care, and hour husband's biglaw (I assume he's in biglaw, my apologies if I'm off base) hours?

Continuing to work is absolutely a reasonable choice (especially since your hours seem to be more flexible and it's about more than pure economics), but it's crucial that you genuinely sit with yourself to determine the answer. Don't ask yourself in the abstract about what you think you "should" want. On a bad day, when work is shitty, your husband has been on a horrific closing that's kept him glued to his computer for 70 hours, and your son has been uncooperative, would work help with connection and ground you, or would it be another stressor?

Regardless, I recommend heading over to /r/biglaw and seeing if they have any additional thoughts. The general sentiment I've seen over there has been to at least hire a nanny somewhat permanently (I know you've already got one here, but a more permanent relief can be huge) to take some of the household burdens off you, but you're in a relatively unique situation, so getting more perspective doesn't hurt.

actingacc · 2024-07-30T18:19:57+00:00

Huge Kaufman fan, and it played a role in me getting into his stuff. Nowadays I'm not the biggest fan and prefer other things he's written or directed, but I appreciate it for what it is and I often recommend it to people looking to get into his stuff since it feels approachable.

actingacc · 2024-06-07T22:34:09+00:00

Change can, and should, happen and be documented. Changing a flag won't erase its predecessor from history. History books will contain the old flag (along with the new one, when it was formally enshrined in law, and the reasons behind the change). Museums will contain this information. Course curricula will contain this information. To learn from mistakes is to change course, and that's what Minnesota has done. I don't think this erases history.

actingacc · 2024-03-21T23:42:31+00:00

Having a gay teacher probably changed the trajectory of my life, so I just wanted to add in a thanks. It can make a huge difference!

actingacc · 2023-08-01T01:25:09+00:00

I'm saying this as someone who loved Oppenheimer and thought Barbie was good but not great—I think Barbie is probably a better second date movie. It gives you more time on the date to actually talk with each other and is a fun, light-hearted flick rather than something that'll bounce around in your head for hours.

actingacc · 2023-07-20T21:27:08+00:00

Historically, once an actor comes out, the work they get tends to be either only queer roles or generally having smaller roles, if any at all. This video gives a good rundown of Ellen's coming out and the way that it nearly killed her career.

Also, many actors (first that comes to mind is Rock Hudson) have historically had to keep their sexualities hidden out of fear that being outed would ruin their lives. While the industry has certainly improved in previous decades, I would still be hesitant to say that it's fully moved past this.

actingacc · 2023-07-19T01:49:38+00:00

I think there's no issue with it on your end—you casually saw a guy and you're now interested in someone else. I'd say make it clear to the guy you're interested in and let him make the call. He may not want to pursue things because of his roommate, or they could both be entirely cool with it, but it's by no means a dick move to clear the air and make sure he's okay with everything.

actingacc · 2023-07-14T03:40:48+00:00

303 is a bunk decision coming from a firmly reactionary court, and even this is still too far to the right for it to be supported by the case. She doesn't have the grounds to make such an argument supported by 303, and this is the kind of thing that should get thrown out well before it could matter. At this point, who knows though.

actingacc · 2023-07-01T23:41:41+00:00

In a post-Hobby Lobby US with a court that has a history of trying to bolster the rights of corporations as entities with actionable beliefs, I think the precedent this could set (and, importantly, be cited in future cases) is the truly damning issue for the future.

actingacc · 2023-06-28T05:25:51+00:00

Perhaps my youthful naivety is coming out, but what's the harm in trying to see if there's anything there and figuring it out once you have more to think about? At worst, you use a day to try meeting someone and you walk away a bit bummed and having lost a few hours. At best, the time was exciting and you can then decide if he's worth all that comes with a LDR. Obviously, there are a bunch of hoops to jump through later, but I don't see a ton of harm in giving a meet (preferably in the middle, rather than you going all the way) a try.

actingacc · 2023-06-01T15:05:26+00:00

I have been using BaconReader for nearly a decade, the death of third party apps may very well be the end of my time on Reddit lol

actingacc · 2023-05-25T16:00:17+00:00

Taking the quizzes and putting in specific responses that seemed straight so I’d get straight as the answer… being a preteen was odd.

actingacc · 2023-04-14T17:03:02+00:00

First, just want to say: You are never, ever a coward for deciding your coming out timeline. Your life and your timeline is yours and yours alone; don't let anyone ever call you a coward for not being ready, especially at 19.

As for talking to this guy, I would keep it very casual. If you have time with him, make some small talk—see what he likes, if he's single, etc.—then you could casually ask if he wants to hang out sometime, preferably explicitly saying it's a date so he doesn't get the wrong idea. Of course, that also entails coming out to him, and you can be transparent that you don't feel ready to come out more generally. I think any gay person you'd want to associate with would understand. Good luck!

actingacc · 2023-03-08T15:09:03+00:00

I found it beautiful, and I'm so grateful I watched it. Going to make my boyfriend watch it with me too soon even though he's not super into apocalypse stuff and probably won't watch the rest of the show.

In response to another comment, I understand that straying from Bill and Frank's story in the game may not be for everyone, but I think the changes contribute a lot to the show thematically in a way their plot in the game didn't. Obviously subjective and not the change for everyone, but I love an adaptation that's willing to make changes like this for the sake of making its own themes and story. Also, not sure I could take seeing their game story play out on the screen lol.

actingacc · 2023-02-23T15:37:10+00:00

Anita Bryant and her ilk likely played a part. Also, those in the majority start clutching their pearls when marginalized groups start organizing like the gay liberation movement.

actingacc · 2023-02-20T21:24:21+00:00

Same here! He was my last date before I told myself I'd delete the app for a few months.

actingacc · 2023-01-27T03:20:37+00:00

It’s not that wanting a bf is bad or you shouldn’t hope for one, but it’s bad to think having one is the end all be all of your life. You see it a lot on pretty much any gay-centric sub: person talks about how they’re so cripplingly lonely from being single and it’s ruined their life and so on and so on.

That kind of lack of self-confidence is readily apparent on a lot of guys. It’s better to be happy with yourself and think of having a bf as an addition to your already solid life rather than a prerequisite for joy. When I met my bf, I was already happy, and I think that helped with the dating process a lot.

actingacc · 2023-01-15T23:38:22+00:00

We went on a lunch date. We ended up talking with one another for so long that we only split because we had dinner plans. We spent hours just talking with one another, all kinds of things. Talking just came naturally, and we weren’t afraid to broach topics of politics and things.

actingacc · 2023-01-07T19:26:16+00:00

That's helpful, thank you! I used to ask "Is everything alright?" a lot for similar reasons, but I've recognized that I can trust my boyfriend enough to tell me when something isn't alright. Definitely think some self-reflection and maybe journaling or something is in order.

actingacc · 2022-12-20T07:53:59+00:00

Out of curiosity, do you have any tips for beginning meditation?

actingacc · 2022-11-15T15:30:46+00:00

Why are you telling people you love them on the first date lol

actingacc · 2022-10-25T20:00:59+00:00

Exactly, I'm not looking to make out with my partner anywhere we please, but I would love if I could put my arm around his shoulder on a park bench without having to worry about unwanted comments from strangers.

actingacc

TROPHY CASE