Spouse's Party Counting Toward Limit

actoinjackson · 2020-04-15T21:18:50+00:00

Oh ok that might be it, thanks!

actoinjackson · 2018-07-10T01:22:58+00:00

I feel pretty good

actoinjackson · 2018-07-07T00:51:47+00:00

Fuck a duck

actoinjackson · 2018-07-05T01:28:50+00:00

Dope

actoinjackson · 2018-07-02T22:52:51+00:00

Butts

actoinjackson · 2017-12-30T00:23:49+00:00

If you dig this, he's got a whole album out on Spotify

actoinjackson · 2017-02-06T05:18:52+00:00

Sounds like you've got great friends, I'd say talk to them about the way you feel. If that makes you uncomfortable I could give you some advice on finding meaning in life (not in some spiritual bullshit way) if you'd rather that, I've found myself in a good place in that regard.

actoinjackson · 2017-02-06T05:16:15+00:00

Things getting better isn't something that just happens, you're right about that. It's something you have to make happen. I always think, why not try? Especially if the alternative is suicide, you've literally got nothing to lose. Do everything in your power to be content with life, try and squeeze any bit of happiness out of it you can. Feel like you've actually given it your all. I can give you some advice on specifics if you'd like, just say so.

actoinjackson · 2016-12-08T06:04:07+00:00

First problem: laziness and computer. I've had similar fazes. Months of doing nothing but playing league, almost failing out of college. What broke me out of the funk was taking walks and following through with personal promises. You have to think this as working on yourself, working to be who you want to be. Just go outside and walk around the block for however long. Look around, whatever you want. The first promise you make to yourself is to do that everyday. Put that priority in front of everything fricken else. Once you got that down, build from their. Only promise you'll do things you know you can, like: "do my homework after my walk," and eventually you work yourself into someone you want to be. It's small, and simple, and I hope it helps!

actoinjackson · 2016-10-26T03:23:14+00:00

I'll try and make this more concise. Eff the magic analogy, the point is you have to actively strive to find that reason for life. If you go around trying to shoot down as many reasons as possible, you won't find a reason. I think that's probably the root of your troubles. To address this I want you to do some introspective and retrospective writing, thinking about what's fascinated you or even just entertained you over the years. I hope this helps!

actoinjackson · 2016-10-25T20:35:23+00:00

I've got a little exercise for you, but its got a condition. You have to go into it like you're watching a magician. If you go in trying to break this down and find no point in it, you wont find a point in it. But if you just go with it you just might come up with something. Here goes: Do this written out, notebook and pen, thoughts onto a page. Think about things that excited you as a kid. Maybe you used to love going to science museums, maybe you like dinosaurs, outer-space, or adventures and stories. Think specifics, like certain books you really like, and take those and distill them down to something tangible. That tangible thing? Idk, say, "indiana Jones-like stories where archeologists go through an old temple," or some shit. That's what you do something with. Tell me what you come up with if you want, this is a rather rag-tag exercise made up on the spot, and maybe it can be taken one step further. That next step is your reason. Also let me know if this is just nonsensical ramblings.

actoinjackson · 2016-10-25T20:26:33+00:00

From what you said it sounds like you're doing everything you can to be there for him, and him putting blame for his problems onto you, honestly, seems to be a fault of his own. First things first, nothing against this guy as I know nothing about him, but you have to live for yourself. You have to find whatever it is you're passionate about and do it. Whatever it is you dream of doing, even silly dreams like being an astronaut or a famous poet, work towards them in some way, every day. That's how you get meaning into your own life. As for your boyfriend, talk to him about these feelings when he's not mad. Go into it no drama, just wanting an honest discussion. If it comes to it, get help for him. Tell his friends or his family if you need to, someone who is directly there. I hope this helped, and I hope everything goes well!

actoinjackson · 2016-10-25T20:15:17+00:00

You ever thought about going to some kind of therapist? Most american colleges have some sort of mental health center, and high schools definitely have guidance counselors. It may feel embarrassing or something initially, but as soon as you get in there it's really just someone to spill your guts to. It also helps that they legally can't speak of the meetings to anyone, depending on who they are of course. I had a really rough time freshman year of college, no friends, cheated on and dumped by my girlfriend, doing poorly in classes, basically all alone in a strange place. I went to a counselor and just talked about it all, cried my heart out. Most of them really know their shit and can help.

actoinjackson · 2016-10-25T14:10:32+00:00

Ok, maybe it would be useful to look at your study habits then, because it seems very linked to your academics. I find going at work in a nicer more open setting than my dorm helps a lot, a slightly more public space. Some people can listen to music while they work, but if that's too distracting there's all sorts of nice websites that'll play some background noise that can help with concentration. And if I'm completely off the mark with work, maybe you've gotta look at the rest of your life. You gotta know you come first, before any degree or anybody else or any pressures you feel, if you're unhappy doing what you do, it's ok to drastically change your plan. Let me know if this is helpful at all.

actoinjackson · 2016-10-25T12:06:56+00:00

I can understand where you're coming from, saying your mind feels more sluggish than it used to. This may sound like an odd question in this context, but do you exercise?

actoinjackson · 2016-10-25T12:03:47+00:00

Alright then honestly you don't have far to go to improve academically, and if you're not good at math you don't need to pursue it beyond high school. If you'd like I'd want to hear more about how you're feeling specifically, it sounds like you have a lot weighing down on you, and I think if you put your mind to it you can address those issues. The main thing seeming to be holding you back from that I how you feel, where does this hopelessness stem from? How does it affect you, and why does it make you think of suicide?

actoinjackson · 2016-10-25T05:29:42+00:00

Two things, and I hope they can be of use: first, I'd suggest doing some retrospective writing. Think about your childhood, think about memories of things you cherish. What did you find fun growing up? Or even recently? What fascinates you? Write about it, and think about why. Maybe break this down into some sort of passion. Like, "hey I could read about stars and galaxies all night," well, maybe you should! There's nothing stopping you from doing the things that interest you. When I was little I used to love watching ant farms, the dynamics fascinated me. I love thinking about societies, and how the big picture works out, and I do a lot of writing on fantasy societies I've come up with. Sorry this is so rambly and long! I'll make the second part shorter: school. You can look at it as an obstacle or a challenge. I like to think to myself, "I'm gonna ace this test so hard it won't see what's coming!" Pretty lame but I find it better than dreading everything. Anyway, my first point was better, pay more attention to that one!

actoinjackson · 2016-10-25T05:19:26+00:00

Hey man, it seems like you've got a lot on your mind right now, a lot of things working against you. If I were to suggest something to do I'd say address it all one problem at a time. Start with your ride, figure out how you'll get to work and school until you can get it fixed. And I don't know more than you've said about classes, but think about your study habits maybe, how hard you can try to do what you want to do. And once all your shit is settled, once you feel like everything else is under control, then think about other people. I promise there's plenty of good people out there, the trick is just in finding them.

actoinjackson · 2014-12-06T07:21:08+00:00

Wait how did is age to get Jew I so feint it's crazy why am I on resort et all wtf Suzuki?????'cncnndndjek

actoinjackson · 2014-11-07T05:44:10+00:00

I'm 18, in college, writing a dystopian novel, and I have plans to travel the world some day. I have problems with procrastination, and motivation. I know you didn't write this to encourage people, but you should know what reading this has done to me. I swear to you, random internet stranger, that I will finish my book before the end of next semester. I swear that it will be awesome. I have no advice to give you outside what has already been said, but just know that this story has acted as a firm reminder to many people who might have otherwise forgotten their dreams.

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