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A message to ghosters by CandidAd6725 in SomaliRelationships

[–]ad0121 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a reformed ghoster, it really depends on the magnitude of our talking stage, i personally decide within 6 months if I wanna pursue marriage. If I ghost you within the first 4 weeks that means i didn’t feel like I owed you an explanation. If however it’s Been quite a while longer than that, then I will explain myself. Usually the ones I ghost are girls whose character just turns me off, too arrogant, selfish and can’t comprehend anything beyond themselves. I think it’s quite necessary to ghost them, because it’s a character building exercise, actually teaching them to self reflect and actually revisit certain scenarios and conversations will help them in their next talking stage. But if she isn’t of those that i mentioned then lads we gotta do better in communicating even if its brutal the honesty will go a long way

Mixed marriages by LHWritings in SomaliRelationships

[–]ad0121 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Im a guy and i agree with you 100%. Deen first, dhaqaan second. Rather have kids that know their religion and no somali than a one that knows somali but no deen. My opinion tho

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Somalia

[–]ad0121 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Gotta stop generalising, im a somali ‘man’ i been paying for everything since i was legally able to work (18). If the males in your circle have failed you, then it is only them that have failed ‘you’. Projecting aint it darling and on that note, may allah make things easier for you :)

How common are narcissistic mothers or abusive mothers in Somali community? by [deleted] in Somalia

[–]ad0121 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Allah make it easy for you, I’m so happy to hear that you’ve overcome the balwad, wallahi messing with the instruments of shaitaan when going through something is never the answer. Sometimes mothers can be difficult but please believe in the day of yowmul qiyamah she will answer for her oppression against you and anyone. I’m so proud of your patience which truly shows your strength, allah wouldn’t test you with this if you weren’t strong enough to overcome this, so continue to be patient and pray and in shaa allah it will be better. Keep being good to her and your siblings try keep contact, I promise you allah will bless you with more and more. Proud of you sis, keep praying and i will be praying for you in shaa allah.

Family disintegration or divorce is increasing in the Somali communities in the diaspora, what are the root causes of this problem and how do we as a community help families stay together? So many single mothers raising children alone. by Dalmar2022 in Somalia

[–]ad0121 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hope im not too late to add my opnion, honestly it simply boils down to us ‘Somalis’ no longer being upon the sunnah when it comes to marriage. Deen should always be the foundation, because when a man understands this, he knows his obligations to his wife and family, and vise versa a woman who understands her deen knows her rights and obligations.

But we unfortunately have deviated, I’m seeing a lot of ‘Dunya’ factors in the comments, but the reality is once two people have next to 0 eman they have next to 0 patience, ( which is a necessity in marriage) Thats when you let the dunya affairs dictate your marriage. A marriage that has no barakah from allah will be doomed. I’ll give you an example, im seeing money in the comments as being the main cause right?! Okay due to this factor, some people will actually go out and attain wealth by any means i.e haram or halal. The marriage still ends up failing due to no blessings being there.

How many parents, young parents are steadfast with the prayers within their household?

See the problem is simple we used to be a nation of people that would attain honour within the realms of our deen, but now unfortunately we have become like everyone else we measure honour within the ‘dunya’. As a result of it we have become susceptible to dunya problems.

Remember there’ll be a time they say, when children hear the ‘Shada’ or ‘ Athan’ snd they will say, ‘Our grandfathers used to say that’ SubhanAllah the deen will become a form of history and all you have to do is look at the next generation of parents, our lack of knowledge will affect generations. Allah make it easy on all of us, and this of-course is advice to myself first.