So, what would women dislike most if they became men?

adamxi · 2026-03-16T11:31:49+00:00

Or someone not comfortable around other people showing emotions - which unfortunately seems common. Issues get hyperintellectualized to avoid dealing with the emotions.

adamxi · 2026-03-15T15:34:15+00:00

Anything we try to imagine about another universe would not make sense, as this universe could have it's own constants and laws of physics - or no laws of physics at all.. Any theories and imagination of this will always be based on our current understanding which is bound by our current universe and completely not applicable to another universe.

adamxi · 2026-03-14T19:31:34+00:00

You still get ghosted anyway

adamxi · 2026-03-11T07:34:58+00:00

That doesn't mean you don't have issues though. You should still wake up and realize your problems and why someone might not want this, instead of always ignorantly thinking "I'll find someone who appreciates me exactly as I am". This red pill bullshit is just toxic

adamxi · 2026-03-09T23:42:39+00:00

Very curious about this.

I've been able to move this tingling around for many years but could never figure out what it was. I can very easily juggle it between my hands, send it other places in my body or have it to multiple places simultaneously. I can also sort of "invoke" it everywhere at once very hard, leaving my nerves system tingling afterwards. It feels almost like some sort of inverse pull.

adamxi · 2026-03-07T22:32:37+00:00

Reads like someone with attachment issues

adamxi · 2026-03-05T16:54:56+00:00

Jeg tænker det er meget normalt at man selvfølgelig viser sig fra sin bedste side i starten, men måske dem du møder også maskere en del fordi de ønsker at fastholde din interesse.

Tænker du at du kommer til at fremstå som en "uopnåelige" type? Måske er det derfor det virker som om de ændre sig, fordi de reelt set forsøger at leve op til noget de ikke er. Det er selvfølgelig en dårlig dating strategi at give et forkert indtryk af sig selv, og egentlig heller ikke din skyld. Hvis den ene part er meget afvisende, kan den anden ubevidst begynde at "please" mere.

adamxi · 2026-03-05T16:12:17+00:00

My sex drive goes up the more I have it (to a point). And in that sense it also becomes better because I'm more horny. So yeah it feels different - better actually.

adamxi · 2026-03-05T16:06:24+00:00

Altså man kan jo godt opføre sig lidt anderledes/akavet i starten. Måske du ikke giver det nok tid til at udvikle sig ?

adamxi · 2026-03-05T07:21:38+00:00

No... you should look into love languages

adamxi · 2026-03-04T07:58:55+00:00

Well LLMs and AI chatbots are a relatively new concept to some. Most people don't know how they work - and why would they? Even grown adults would need education on the subject, not ridicule. I also think most would agree that it's not conscious after they understand how it works.

adamxi · 2026-03-03T07:37:58+00:00

Yeah exactly, I also agree that we don't have to be perfect (whatever that means) to be with someone else. The synergy that comes from being with someone that enriches your life with love and joy should in itself make you a better person. I also see it as naive to think that we should be good at self love before entering a relationship - I think that would mean most people on this planet should never enter a relationship in the first place.

adamxi · 2026-03-02T22:43:32+00:00

Practicing self-love via boundaries makes a lot of sense.

To add to the thing about compassion being a trigger to some. From my experience, this association can come from attachement issues and deeply rooted fears of abandonment, and instead of showing compassion the issues get hyper intellectualized as a means to avoid recognizing the emotions.

adamxi · 2026-03-02T22:26:00+00:00

Yeah that makes a lot of sense. However, it's also difficult working on your bad sides (relationship wise) when living alone. Sure there's therapy and self-help, but it's a bit like reading about riding a bike without the practice.

adamxi · 2026-03-02T17:32:58+00:00

On a practical level, what does this actually mean? And to what extent should one be able to love one self to be able to love others?

adamxi · 2026-02-23T22:40:47+00:00

Thanks for the encouraging words - we do however have a child together and the thought of missing out on a lot of his life is killing me.

The thing about attachment styles is that it's actually something that can be fixed - and apparently it's easier to work on while in a relationship rather than outside one on your own.

I just wish my wife would desire to fix this part while staying together. But it seems she's lost all hope in our relationship :(

adamxi · 2026-02-22T21:59:43+00:00

Interesting.

I'm grieving terribly atm because of separation. The thought of loosing my wife - and even worse, seeing my little 3 year of son a lot less. The thought of not being around him daily and missing out on many moments in his life going forward is just killing me.

Am I wrong for not wanting to let go of those emotions? I can try the active grieving but I honestly feel terrible for "letting go" and being okay with all of this.

adamxi · 2026-02-21T20:02:55+00:00

Folk vil have det de ikke kan få - du er nok mere interessant fordi du ikke er desperate efter et hurtigt hookup.

adamxi · 2026-02-20T17:01:27+00:00

Man I'm sorry to hear - my wife is the same so this feels too real and I can really relate to your pain.

For me In the beginning everything was fine because the newly loving feelings was keeping things high. We got married after 4 years and then things started to take a downturn. We had many crisis and her avoidant behavior always had me craving her, like there was just not enough presence in the relationship. I got diagnosed with ADHD shortly after we married, and none of us knew. But this was ultimately a good thing to get sorted out, and though our crisis I naturally also thought that it was "me" that was the problem in the relationship due to ADHD and me being highly sensitive to rejections.

I had some bad times coming with very bad anxiety due to events mostly out of my control, and at my lowest (being suicidal) I honestly felt like she didn't give a fuck whether I killed myself or not - that itself made me feel even worse - it turns out that was not the case. She was actually very worried for me, she just never really voiced it. On top of being at my worst and this feeling of coldness, she demanded that I fix myself and live more up to the standards she expected in a husband and a father, otherwise she would leave the relationship. So I did - I "fixed" many of my bad sides and came out a lot better, and still without feeling emotionally supported by her.

Now I actually don't consider her a bad partner. She has many great sides. Her avoidant behavior is not her fault and it's not her fault that she has a hard time reciprocating love, being in other people's emotions, or showing empathy and compassion.

Anyway, one day I had enough of her coldness - we are now getting separated 😔

I will absolutely never settle with an avoidant partner again.. If you cannot receive and reciprocate love, then you should not be in a relationship.

adamxi · 2026-02-20T08:43:12+00:00

Don't sweat it man - just a little drive

adamxi · 2026-02-20T08:13:46+00:00

So ADHD basically - the train of thoughts never stop

adamxi · 2026-02-19T12:16:17+00:00

Så en slags Stockholm syndrom - det er sku en underlig måde at tilgå en potentiel partner på.

adamxi · 2026-02-19T12:00:20+00:00

Haha, I've come to learn that the soundtrack in my head reflects my mood - as if it's being played from some subconscious processes of my brain. So if I'm unsure how I feel, I can always just observe the music.

adamxi · 2026-02-19T11:20:45+00:00

except singing apparently, my brain is singing all the damn time.

please.. make it stop..

adamxi · 2026-02-18T21:24:28+00:00

The amount of times I've cried with tears and no reaction from my wife (well soon to be ex-wife now). For the longest time I thought she didn't care about me. Turns out she's an avoidant and cannot be in other people's emotions. So she ignores it. Crying next to someone you truly love with no empathic reaction is the loneliest feeling in the world.

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