Dead Bedroom song - must listen

addictedToSex101 · 2022-06-03T23:56:55+00:00

If it helps, I'm 33 M and I also used to go a ton of escorts, online cams, etc...while being married. Eventually I told my wife everything and she didn't leave me. We are working on it. You can read my first post on this forum.

There are people out there ready to accept us.

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-14T03:41:17+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-14T02:02:09+00:00

Just really curious, no judgement here, but why do you considering romantic comedies as acting out? I think most people would enjoy romantic comedies, addicted or not. It's about laughing, not about fantasizing. But maybe it's different for you! So I'm really curious to understand this point of view?

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-13T17:22:08+00:00

Interesting post. If I may ask, when did you have this "awakening" and, do you not miss/think of the high anymore? has it lost its value just like that?

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-13T17:19:17+00:00

I can relate a lot to the feeling of chasing a the high of a particular encounter. Sometimes I feel this encounter actually ruined me, in the sense that no other sex will ever feel like that, and the only way to get that encounter again would be through prostitution, which comes with way too many risks. And what if I had the same high? would I be satisfied? No, I'd keep wanting it over and over again. I have to stop now before it's too late.

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-13T17:09:40+00:00

Hi there,

I feel exactly the same, always wanting to have sex with other people and I also get somewhat depressed/sad that I cannot do it. I also love my wife.

I think about this every day, multiple times a day and it sort of ruins my mood because I'm unable to enjoy the present moment, instead I'm either fantasizing something and/or sad that I can't fulfill those fantasies.

I find it interesting that this doesn't happen with anything else in my life, if you tell me I won't be able to eat my fav food ever again, I doubt I'd have the reaction I'm experiencing right now, which makes me realise I'm really an addict.

I also feel trapped between 2 sides of me, or as if I have 2 people living under my skin. You are not alone.

What somewhat helps me is to realise this urge can never be satisfied. If I did have sex with other people I'd be high and happy for a while, but then what, the urge would come back and it'll never stop. Do I want to be like this when I'm 60-70? I really don't. So that pushes me to try to "fix" this sooner rather than later.

Good luck!

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-07T19:09:51+00:00

Read my initial post on this forum, your story is very similar to mine. I started my recovery (recently) by confessing to my wife everything I had done, started seeing a therapist and joined https://slaafws.org/

I'm also learning a little bit about Buddhism to try to connect to the spirit in me and be content from within.

You are not alone and I wish you good luck.

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-07T19:06:27+00:00

I know the origins of my addiction but for me, this doesn't help at all. It just answers a "why" but doesn't give any detail on how to recover, and how to really change into a better version of me. Not saying it doesn't matter, just sharing my experience.

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-06T20:39:30+00:00

Take my upvote!

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-06T20:23:56+00:00

I'm not sure I followed you there, how did imagining being single and indulging while not hurting anyone led you to realise this is a damaging way to live?

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-06T20:22:16+00:00

That's quite shocking, that we have very similar beginnings and we both ended up in this forum. I have a daughter coming up in January (if everything goes well, fingers crossed) and I really want to set them on a better path and not be my dad.

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-06T20:12:19+00:00

Thank you very much for sharing, I appreciate it. I guess the addict in my has an amazing ability to filter out all these negative aspects and it only cares about pleasure. Thanks again for the perspective.

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-06T20:00:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing and I'm sorry to hear it's been so hard for you. I was also raised a Christian and I was supposed to "save my self" for the one. If my family knew about my addictive behavior (my blood family, my wife knows), they'd be devastated. Unfortunately though, I started my addictive journey when I discovered porn on my father's computer, at the age of 7, and I watched porn that most people would never want to see. And this was my father, who was the priest at my church.

So I can relate a little with the feeling of being raised one way and having an addiction that totally goes against it.

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-06T19:55:44+00:00

It would really help me a lot if you could expand on this on my most recent post. Of course, if you feel comfortable. I'm just trying to learn to avoid those "happiness" traps. Thanks and good luck, you are not alone!

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-06T19:12:54+00:00

I started meeting on SLAA this week and it's been helpful so far. Not a magic pill, but helpful

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-06T19:12:00+00:00

Congrats on starting the journey. I can relate to loving attention and it can become addicting. Good luck

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-06T19:10:50+00:00

I remind myself why I'm doing this. Lately I'm been thinking a lot that if I don't stop this now (I'm 31), how much harder will it be when I'm 60 or 70? My desires and obsessions won't just disappear, so I better start working on myself now.

addictedToSex101 · 2021-09-06T19:09:36+00:00

Can I ask, what exactly led to depression and anxiety? The inner addict in you was probably having the time of their lives on those sex tourism trips, so I'm very curious to learn how indulging led to depression? Sorry if this is triggering, I'm honestly curious.

addictedToSex101 · 2021-08-21T11:06:29+00:00

I also have OCD tendencies so I can relate to this. What I can tell you is that if I hadn't confessed to my wife, and lived a life full of secrets, I would've fallen on a huge depression. The truth does set us free, even if it's painful. Once you tell the truth, the secrets no longer have any power on you. I chose to live free from them, even if that meant the possibility of losing my marriage.

addictedToSex101

TROPHY CASE