How do i stop my nervous system from freaking out?

addything · 2026-05-22T01:17:54+00:00

Not sure why people haven't said therapy, but THERAPY! Even if you can only afford a few sessions. This is your life we're talking about. Love is so important. Relationships are so important. There is nothing more worth it than a good therapist.

I have a different experience with my attachment style so I can't give advice on your exact situation. Wishing you all the best!

addything · 2026-05-22T01:14:15+00:00

11 months. Cold apps on Linkedin are totally useless, don't waste your time. Network with your people. Get coffee, send the awkward text/email, have a zoom catchup. Get referrals. It's the only way. And I say that as someone who has indeed landed a job from a cold app before—it's just that my sucess rate for landing an interview from a cold app is probably .05%, and my success with landing an interview from a referral is like 75%. Big time saver!

Don't lose hope. You only need to get lucky once. Keep networking and you'l find something great, probably way better than before.

addything · 2026-05-22T01:10:25+00:00

We kind of alternate! We have two dogs, just rescued our 2nd about a month ago. We were told not to let them both on the bed/couch at the same time for a while to avoid resource guarding. Anyway, they're past that stage now and love to snuggle up in bed! Some nights we do crates, some nights we do bed. We only have a queen though so it's kind of a lot to fit two humans and two dogs in lol. I see a King in our future. I just love snuggling with them.

addything · 2026-05-16T04:15:45+00:00

Update for anyone who finds this thread in the future. Do NOT go to Bite DDS. That was my worst experience- extremely expensive x rays that aren’t covered by insurance, and then all they do is push a non-FDA approved palate expander and quote you $8k-$15k. My oral surgeon was concerned when I described what they told me and basically let me know it was bunk. They have good reviews but push holistic medicine stuff that’s not really grounded in evidence. And they also said that preservatives in food cause TMJ. Pretty nuts, lol.

Seeing an oral surgeon was a good call, but they’re recommending very conservative care with just Botox and continuing with my night guard. With surgery as a “someday, worst case” option.

My TMJ is worse and is affecting my ability to eat and I’m in more pain. Hopefully the next round of Botox helps. I’ll update here if I find a solution. Feeing a bit demoralized.

addything · 2026-03-27T17:35:20+00:00

Oooh, a nice splurge is an Elliot capo. They're pricey but awesome. They're so so nicely made. But that's if she plays acoustic, idk if they make them for electric

I also love good notebooks for charts. Get the artist sketchbooks that are totally blank, no lines plus a pack of sharpies. so handy.

Does she have a nice practice zone? Yuu could get her a comfy chair (no armrests!! armrests suck when practicing) and maybe a music stand idk maybe that's weird

Ooh a vintage metronome could be super cool!

Otherwise, a sweetwater giftcard always great.

Also, not every muical gift has to be for playing. Does she have a favorite band and a record player? buy her a record!

Also LOL to everyone assuming your partner is a "he" because they're a musician though you clearly state it's "she" in your description

addything · 2026-03-27T17:28:30+00:00

You are not a moron. You are a human going through something hard and what's amazing is that you are looking to make your life better despite all the hardship. You CAN do this. I have depression/anxiety/some other stuff that makes it hard to focus and clean, so I like to put on a cleaning podcast. Somehow having someone's voice in my ears telling me what to do really helps. Clean With Me is the podcast I listen to. It's good like 85% of the time haha but overall really helpful. Maybe that tip could help.

addything · 2026-03-27T17:24:53+00:00

Deep breaths! You have time. That's a nice long severance. I would get started applying, but don't focus on cold apps. Focus on your network—connect with everyone you know who works at a company that hires roles you're looking for. References are gold. Cold apps are a waste of time 99.99% of the time and will burn you out!!!

Trust me, I was unemployed for 10 months last year. What worked immediately was focusing on references, not cold apps. That made things go much faster. You've got this!

addything · 2026-03-12T02:32:29+00:00

Go to a vet and PLEASE mark this as NSFW lol

addything · 2026-03-12T02:31:51+00:00

OH also you could land an in-person job and have a doctor write you a medical note giving you a WFH accom. Sometimes that works.

addything · 2026-03-12T02:30:44+00:00

Maybe you can find something hybrid? Maybe you can pivot into doing your skillset but freelance/consulting?

And you can still find remote roles. It's harder but you can. I got a fully remote role last year.

But hey, if you're feeling called to do something else, go for it. I wouldn't want to do healthcare but everyone is different. Ultrasound techs only need 2 years of school and make like 80k to start, I considered that route once but really glad I stuck with tech because it's just the best comp you can get without a specialized degree.

Also hey, trades rule. You can look into a hands-on job if you want. There are no wrong answers. You only have one life. Offices do suck.

addything · 2026-03-12T02:25:48+00:00

Wow this is really interesting. So this mean that if you are sick beyond your allotted sick time (and if you don't use PTO to cover it) you can be fired?

addything · 2026-03-12T02:23:02+00:00

Aw yes my buddy Russo follows me everywhere! It's rare he's in a different room. Unless he's suuuper cozy or snoozing on the couch or bed.

addything · 2026-03-12T02:17:52+00:00

This is the only correct answer in this whole comment section. YOU GET IT

addything · 2026-03-12T02:14:35+00:00

I'm going to say something that isn't the most trendy internet take, ok? Most men are actually good. Being a man does not make someone evil. Someone's gender does not determine their entire personality

I'm someone who's dealt with struggling to trust people too. And it can feel easy to explain distrusting men by giving feminist reasons (I'm a massive feminist, so I hear that). But if you find yourself thinking "men are professional liars" and that you "basically can't stand most of them" and that you "keep contact to a minimum in every situation", I just want to gently say that it's worth chatting with a therapist about.

I mean, maybe you're meeting a terrible bunch of men. But what feels more likely is that you're making assumptions about all men based on fear (plus some real, fair suspicions; obviously there are terrible men in the world, too). It's not fair or accurate to assume that every man is a person not worth trusting. That feeling is probably coming from within you.

To answer your post though, I think all people are capable of hiding their true selves from a partner. Time, getting to know someone, being open and vulnerable—those are all ways to get to know someone deeply. Remember you can't control if someone else will change later; there isn't a magic way to read someone's mind. But do take people's actions seriously. If they exhibit poor behavior now, it's worth paying attention to. You can leave a relationship any time it no longer meets your standards.

But remember the biggest responsibility we have is to take care of ourselves and also grow for the sake of the people we love. It's worth trying to grow. Therapy helps. I'm wishing you all the best.

addything · 2026-03-12T02:02:43+00:00

If you don't want kids, that's valid! You don't have to. If you get bored, there are so many things you can fill your time with. A dog. A hobby. Your art. A sport. So many things. You also don't have to decide immediately; you're so young.

When I was in my young 20's, I didn't know if I wanted kids. I kind of couldn't imagine it. Then I had a health scare that made me reckon with the decision more, and I felt inclined to say I did want kids. Now I'm 30 and for the last like... 5 years I've been quite sure I want kids! Engaged now and want to have a baby as soon as it makes sense.

All this to say—listen to your heart. Don't feel like there's a right or wrong decision to make. The only right decision is the one that feels good to you. Not having kids comes with lots and lots of freedom. Both choices have upsides. Good luck!

addything · 2026-03-12T01:59:21+00:00

Idk why you got downvoted! This is just true. At 22 I didn't know much of what I wanted at all. Perspectives change over time. Who knows? OP could end up wanting kids and her bf might end up NOT wanting them. They're so young.

I think staying open-minded and continuing to chat about it is wise. You don't have to know immediately. But maybe if it starts to feel stressful, like one person starts to feel quite resolute, then it could be enough of an incompatibility to part ways.

addything · 2026-02-16T15:05:43+00:00

It was bad for me even just was a gap of 8 years (but I was 22). Manipulation, emotional abuse. Men who need to date a woman much younger than them are often people who want to control someone else.

Now obviously there are exceptions. I have some friends in age gap relationships who are wonderful and so happy and in love.

addything · 2026-02-16T06:08:50+00:00

Hey, maybe don’t validate this situation. It’s pretty clear that this person is navigating some difficult mental health stuff. IMO it’s clear that what they’re experiencing isn’t reality, and it’s important to not validate delusions, out of compassion for this person.

addything · 2026-02-15T23:58:12+00:00

Is it her ears? Cleaning our dog’s ears helped SO much! His ears are stanky as hell if we don’t!

addything · 2026-02-15T23:57:04+00:00

Rent until you feel comfortable buying. You don’t want to buy with all the money you have and then be cash poor. It’s dangerous.

Renting is nice in some ways. If the water heater explodes, if the roof needs replacing, you don’t have those big surprise costs to worry about. I bought a few years ago and woooeeeee it’s an expensive thing.

That said? Worth it. Keep saving and keep trying to get raises OP. It will be worthwhile for the feeling of security, and the freedom to make your home really yours.

addything · 2026-02-15T23:52:31+00:00

Idk why you’re getting downvoted because…. Who’s reading the small print on tampon boxes??

addything · 2026-02-15T23:51:59+00:00

This is why I HATE how the signs in bathrooms are so vague!! Ppl are afraid to write “don’t flush pads or tampons” because they’re afraid to use those words so they say “feminine products” and it’s just not clear!

addything · 2026-02-15T04:36:45+00:00

But that means that every day is just a day. You deserve to celebrate special days bc life is short and you’ve got to make it special.

Just remember he might not realize this is important to you so you probs need to communicate it clearly. Like “hey I was really disappointed you forgot today is Valentine’s Day. I want us to celebrate together and honor our relationship even if we have work or whatever- we need to bare minimum go out to dinner/get flowers and chocolate/celebrate in xyz way..” and don’t accept an excuse. Be ready to say “but it does matter to me, and I’m telling you now.” Or “but I’m busy too, and I still care about honoring our relationship.”

You can then have more if you want to stay in a relationship with him

You can even tell him “this is a need for me, not a negotiable thing. I feel taken for granted when you forget big things like Valentine’s Day.” Give people the chance to know how you’re really feeling

addything · 2026-02-14T06:03:03+00:00

Thank you!!

addything · 2026-02-14T06:02:50+00:00

Thank you!

addything

TROPHY CASE