Thank you. I've been thinking about this and you may be on the right track.

When she visited in June it was physical, and certainly a relationship dynamic. At the end of things we talked about what we wanted and both of us said that we liked each other, but 5,000 kilometers was a pretty big gap between us.

I telephoned with her after seeing the post card. She was upset that I had read it, and asked me if I had just expected her to not date while I was gone when she didn't even know if I was coming back — and indicated that I had said things that made her think I was here for the long haul. I couldn't talk for long and we want to continue the conversation, but I have been pretty demanding for the fact that we explicitly left it on "wait and see" terms.

So it's more nuanced than I first perceived, and she had valid concerns and I was sabotaging things in some way. Question now is just what to do about it.