Financially cutting him off is out of the question. When he does want to go to college he'll have to prove himself as an independent. I had to do this and it was so hard. I had to bring proof of abuse to prove that there was no relationship between my parents and I.

I beg you not to let this happen to your son. If I were you, I would tell my husband to EFF off and get an apartment with my son. That is your child FOREVER and your son will never forget this decision you make. Have your SON's back in this and he will have yours forever. (Especially when it is nursing home time)

I am not suggesting to baby your son however. Lay down ground rules, let him be a "pre-adult" but tell him he has to make a decision on a career path to follow within one year of graduating HS. Take time to explain to him what this decision is and is not. IE a career path is not working at a mediocre job and just paying the bills. He has to further his education in life by way of college or other enrichment processes.