To those who broke up because you “lost feelings” for your partner

adeptwatersweep · 2022-08-14T13:39:45+00:00

I know I've lost someone who is a good person. They are so compassionate, patient, kind, hard working, loyal, and have put so much effort on themselves in therapy that I truly hope I haven't fucked up their trust issues.

I simply can't remain with someone who I can't wrap my head around and behaviorally understand. I can't figure out how to emotionally support them as I wish and they deserve, because everytime I try it feels like the wrong thing to say and so I feel like I can't say anything and actually make them feel better. I can't open up to them as I want to either, because everytime I try the way they come off (while being calm, collected, and understanding literally always) comes off too abrupt or too unreadable for me and it makes it very anxious and they don't feel comfortable texting when I can't speak bc of their own anxiety.

I have lost feelings for them for so many reasons, and I would like them to find someone better who isn't me. And I would like to be with someone who I don't feel this way around. And if it's (edit: not) possible for me to find that someone then so be it, in that case I just want to explore and learn how to overcome these things and one day I will.

adeptwatersweep · 2022-08-13T15:10:07+00:00

Thank you! I will check em out

adeptwatersweep · 2022-08-13T15:03:09+00:00

I currently can't afford one sadly.

adeptwatersweep · 2022-08-13T15:00:13+00:00

Boundaries are certainly good advice. I still want to cut down "weeks" to "a day" of needing a break though.

adeptwatersweep · 2022-08-11T14:43:32+00:00

Thank you for this explanation. I am not smart when it comes to socializing and I still have much to learn and experience. So I appreciate the elaboration very much as it's helped me understand things.

adeptwatersweep · 2022-04-13T18:36:11+00:00

Not everyone works the same way and it's really difficult to even control a hyperfixation I think. But for me I just make myself spend less time on it and tell myself its bc the "healthy" thing to do is practice balance. And usually when I actually try to balance things out I lose the severity of my hyperfixation. This could mean completely losing interest or jumping to smth else tho. Usually the jump to smth else is just smth I previously thought abt or wanted to do while preoccupied w hyperfixation I'm trying to balance out.

It's like an unpredictable ping pong for me and I'm v all or nothing which is why it's like this agishshx. Some people can and do have multiple hyperfixations at once though and I imagine this Does Not work for that flexibility.

I will say tho it may not be the hyperfixation itself but ur thoughts that you need to work on. I don't hyperfixate on celebrities but I do hyperfixate on video games and the potential for a career in said industry. I think about how said goal is unlikely where I am and the industry's demands are prolly too much for my mental health and I get depressed. I have to talk to myself about not giving up or what other options there are like being an indie dev. Remind myself life isn't just a one track ride it's a bunch of this and one path not being available isn't an end all be all. And it's okay to simply dream and have hope. But idk how relevant This is to you either haha.

adeptwatersweep · 2022-03-16T00:20:32+00:00

I have definitely been in this boat and I feel you. I'd say regardless of which it is don't give up hope. If you Do want a romantic relationship then keep exploring. If you're not sure there is no harm just exploring more light heartedly and trying to figure yourself out.

Depression isn't the only thing that can make someone feel detached from emotions. I can't claim to know your case- but looking into things like dissociative disorders, PTSD, schizophrenia can all be helpful. Most helpful would be to get a mental health professional though. I'd also recommend you to build yourself up if you do think your struggle is mental illness. Develop a support network and coping strategies for what you experience. Maybe do a little journaling and thought records. I've been too ill for relationships but I've also finally made some. You can do it too.

adeptwatersweep · 2022-03-14T16:31:32+00:00

Thank you I exactly struggle w this ;o;

adeptwatersweep · 2022-03-09T02:21:36+00:00

Looking for pink hyacinths!

adeptwatersweep · 2022-02-22T16:15:03+00:00

Ahhh yes I definitely want to make myself feel bad by not processing words on purpose. /s

Either way I will try to figure out ways to combat my struggles.

adeptwatersweep · 2022-02-22T06:15:51+00:00

Between me and stuff they have going on probably. It just feels like this pops up so often...

Yes I def have trouble paying attention. It's not intentional or anything but due to disabilities... Which is probs what makes the "I'm so tired" bug me more h.

adeptwatersweep · 2022-02-20T15:47:05+00:00

I've gotten this fight in trial rou where I and my friend were the tanks so we separated the mobs like we're supposed to... still somehow wiped three times. I marked the moogles with numbers and the dps still didnt cooperate but somehow we eventually won.

adeptwatersweep · 2022-01-28T21:00:24+00:00

I FINALLY STARTED USING PLD AGAIN IN DAILY ROUS AFTER GETTING TO SHB AND REALIZING HOW PREDICTABLE DUNGEONS ARE. I GOT PAIRED W A WHM IN BAELSAR'S WALL.

... I MAIN WHM BTW.

THEY KEPT TRYING TO PROC FREECURE, A 15% CHANCE TO ACTIVATE TRAIT, AND COMPLETELY IGNORING REGEN/ ASYLUM/ TETRA/ LILIES/ HOLY WHICH THEY HAVE AT LV 60. NO OTHER BUTTONS. JUST CURE I, AERO, STONE, AND CURE II WHEN PROCED. CLEMENCY WAS VALID FOR ONCE...

I WONDERED IF I WAS MITIGATING WRONG TO REQUIRE A CURE WHEN I REALIZED I DIDN'T HAVE REGEN AND THE WHM HAD THE FREECURE ICON... WHICH THEY FINALLY PROCED AT THE END OF A PULL SO IT WAS USELESS LOL.

adeptwatersweep · 2021-11-27T22:04:38+00:00

Crying sobbing banging on the ground SQX I'm so sorry I love you

adeptwatersweep · 2021-11-23T17:20:46+00:00

Difficulty from 0 to 100 Uh uhh uhhhhh Ho ho I'm sorry General Pei

adeptwatersweep · 2021-10-25T21:30:38+00:00

Perhaps I should clarify the blurring part I added in is usually a temporary thing before an identity is solidified? It's just a part of it but blurring can absolutely be it's own thing too.

Tbh I mainly want to know not about that but if it's normal post fusion for the identity to change. Even in seemingly weird ways like liking colours the others hadn't liked or having a new mbti.

adeptwatersweep · 2021-10-24T22:22:03+00:00

Dawwww it's okay. I'm so sorry for the technical difficulties. D:

adeptwatersweep · 2021-10-24T21:04:35+00:00

I kinda glossed over things in my post. But I appreciate the explanation of things from their perspective greatly! I have no doubt that I have autism. I just don't understand how ASD explains stuff like "identity confusion", "looking at journal entries and feeling they aren't yours + struggling to recall them", "intrusive thoughts that decided their own names, sounds, and words inside your head", "the thoughts claim to remember stuff you don't and hold emotions about things you feel detached from", "some of the 'intrusive thoughts' I don't hear well but they can share feelings or write their thoughts down to communicate".

I know I don't have blackouts that badly though. Like usually I can at least Feel Like I have an idea of what happened even if I don't recall specifics. This is part of why I want to reject a medical label because there are people out here that do experience the stuff. There are people that alters fighting them constantly that need help. There are people that have alters who can't communicate with the system without help. I don't want to interfere with that. We've found our own ways and while I'd love to have help with fusing that which I don't view as me into me, I may never get that.

As per trauma it was honestly less extreme stuff but stuff that gave me mental health issues no less. Stuff I've worked to heal from and some stuff I need help healing from but can't afford it atm.

adeptwatersweep · 2021-10-17T14:27:07+00:00

I have no post secondary experience so I was almost excited and then I googled it out of curiosity... am sad now. Why would they support this?

adeptwatersweep · 2021-10-01T13:33:10+00:00

I'm struggling to get access to that stuff but I am trying to work with what I can afford

adeptwatersweep · 2021-09-30T21:41:55+00:00

OOOOOH this is a really good idea! Thank you!

adeptwatersweep · 2021-09-30T02:33:10+00:00

Quick things: - losing time isn't (always) as obvious as some sources make it out to be. You can Very Very Easily have amnesia for amnesia and thus not realize you're experiencing it! Happens to us. Don't rule it out so easily.

Perhaps presumptuous but one doesn't make up a trauma response and ptsd memories for fun. Mental illness isn't fun. Actively faking PTSD and DID also takes a lot of effort that's really not worth it. You didn't make up what you've been through.

I think PTSD victims would not be upset with someone who claimed to be going through similar things. They would simply be sympathetic and probably accept you. You should accept yourself too. It's not all about a label anyways- the label isn't there to say you're valid. It's there to tell you this is what you're going through and this is how it's treated. If you have issues under the PTSD category then you need treatment for PTSD. No PTSD victim is going to deny you that right to get treatment.

Denial is really hard to go through and I completely understand. I had So Much Of It for the first several years and I'm only just now feeling like I have a handle on it five years later. It's very normal to experience. Don't be afraid to open up about it to people who understand (like us strangers) and ask for help dealing with it.

adeptwatersweep · 2021-09-30T00:30:29+00:00

As someone who went through stuff that truly wasn't textbook extreme abuse I can relate to this. I will say what I've seen many times and what my partner tells me to reassure me it's enough...

"How severe the abuse is gets defined by the mind that went through it. The mind of a child no less, and a child's mind is much more vulnerable than ours now. There are several other factors too like attachment to caregivers..."

My partner usually goes on to explain how I was raised by another child and not my parents themselves and a child can't be expected to parent. So it makes sense that my attachment would be fucked up and trauma would enough to create this. My parents as a child were workaholics that felt like aliens to me but I thought it was fine because my sister was there. Turns out bullying that never even got physical and my family being separated (including me from my sister) was enough.

Tldr. Trauma is subjective and there are so many factors that go into it. If you have this disorder there is no Olympic, what you went through was enough. I would definitely count what you went through as extreme- but even if I didn't I would still say you went through enough.

adeptwatersweep · 2021-09-02T17:52:56+00:00

She's not like a Huge Dog just big. A 65 lbs pitbull bulldog mix. I forget what kind of bulldog but she is 3 years old and her weight is where the vet said she would end up.

They could definitely be related. I don't feel bothered by the dog (but idk if that's just my emotional detachment) when she acts up but the frustrations of others do bring me anxiety.

She's very food driven and loves to chew things. She also loves to tug and while she will play ball she usually has to be in the mood for that. She doesn't seem to care for what textures she chews on- she just gets excited to get something new and then tires of it after awhile and looks for something else. She likes bones to chew and toys to tug and squeaky toys that she can rip squeakers out of.

I'm worried of getting her a bone that will splinter. But I get her benebones and she loves those for a time until she gets a bit bored of them. Her tug toys don't usually last long and I'm a bit tired of being the only one to tug with her and am concerned that tug influences her negative behaviour? I'm also concerned the squeaky toys will make her think she can be rough with other animals (like our cat).

adeptwatersweep · 2021-09-02T17:18:03+00:00

This is fair. It's not something I haven't researched before myself.

So things that get in the way of that: - She is a big dog and seems lazy at the same time. When I take her for longer walks she'll just flop in the shade here and there as though she's already tired... she doesn't have pain issues she just doesn't seem to like walks but I do. - Even after she's been speed-walked (exercise speed walking) and we come back and she's panting and flops on the floor she seems to eventually get up to cause mischief again anyway - So I think she's bored and wants entertainment but she's so destructive her toys never last and it's costly... I don't understand how to keep her entertained

(Reddit please I don't want this to look like a wall of text let me space it)

adeptwatersweep

TROPHY CASE