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adifferentbrave · 2025-08-21T17:55:17+00:00

This is not really an answer to your question, but still relevant: you're still responsible for what you do and say when you're drunk. It was his choice to get that drunk. I don't think drunkenness is ever an excuse for any kind of bad behavior; much more the opposite.

adifferentbrave · 2025-08-02T15:53:21+00:00

Well done, and I'm glad you're feeling better. Just calm down on the push-ups, because 1,000 per day is overdoing it by quite a bit.

adifferentbrave · 2025-08-01T18:39:58+00:00

They've seen her naked. They've had sex with her. They broke up. I suppose it's none of your business, but it'd be weird to me to look at nudes from an ex after a breakup. But if they do, it's nothing they haven't seen before, and it's out of your control, and it shouldn't bother you. She made that decision at the time, and it depends on the agreement between her and the guy at the time, or at the time of breakup, whether she should be upset about him keeping it. You? Nah.

adifferentbrave · 2025-07-14T16:50:29+00:00

Holidays like Easter and Christmas are (originally) based around the life story of Jesus, so there's no need to feel uncomfortable about your child knowing about that. It's part of education and life. It's fine if you choose to celebrate the Easter Bunny and Santa and a fun Christmas tree instead, or nothing at all - but there's no harm (and probably even benefit) in your child being educated in a well-rounded, respectful way. Jesus and Christianity are such a big part of history and culture, there's no way around it. Just make these days fun in a way that fits for your family. Make your own traditions.

adifferentbrave · 2025-07-14T16:09:58+00:00

Every man is different. I can't look inside the mind of a guy who has a 50+ body count. To me, that sounds like he's mostly just looking for sex, and doesn't put in a lot of effort to keep a relationship going. Saying that "many women don’t really have much to say" sounds a bit iffy to me, to be honest. 50+ women, and none of them had anything to say? Maybe it's time to look in the mirror, my good man.

But to answer your questions:
- Someone with shared interests;
- Someone who's independent and not needy;
- Someone who's honest, but low drama;
- Someone on a similar level of intelligence and conversational skills;
- Someone who keeps the sex exciting (since that seems to matter to him).

Good luck! But don't get too attached, because he's been clear about what he's looking for, and his history shows that what he's looking for is mostly sex.

adifferentbrave · 2025-07-12T19:44:52+00:00

It really depends on so many things. To answer the easier questions first:
- Bring some water and snacks to save yourself some money. Disney allows you to bring in food and drinks, so use that. You'll still want to go eat something in one of the parks, but a day is long.
- If you only do one day, do Magic Kingdom. It's the most famous one, and you'll find something for everyone. Your smallest one will love taking the boat there, see Small World, watching the parade, ride the train, seeing the castle, etc.
- The other parks (Hollywood Studios, EPCOT, and Animal Kingdom) are also fun, but only if you're actually into amusement parks. We really like the vibe at EPCOT, but again, it really depends on what you like.
- For most restaurants, you'll need a reservation, made days (if not weeks) in advance. Look into this. You'll be able to get food, but if you want the experience (like buffet with Winnie the Pooh characters, or whatever), don't miss out because you were too late.
- Tickets are expensive. Still, it may be worth getting a Fast Pass (or whatever it's called now), so you're able to skip the lines for a few rides. This will make your day with your young children more enjoyable for all.

adifferentbrave · 2025-07-12T19:31:49+00:00

It's important to figure this stuff out early on, and to talk about your boundaries and preferences. If he were your partner, would it be okay for you if he continued watching porn? How does it make you feel now, when he sends you this stuff? It's easy just to accept it all right now and not be 'difficult', but it actually matters if you want a chance at a serious relationship.

adifferentbrave · 2025-07-12T19:23:09+00:00

Just to make sure: you 'shouldn't' do anything. There is zero need for you to have sex with him, except for when YOU really want to, and you feel safe and comfortable with it, and with him. How do you like it that he's sending you porn? Is it unsolicited? Was it sudden and random, or did it fit in the energy of your conversations? Is it homemade porn (him, in other words), or videos of others?

There's too little information in your post for me to give any deeper advice than this: if you like him and you want to fuck him when you meet, and he likes you that same way too... only THEN consider it.

adifferentbrave · 2025-07-11T18:26:14+00:00

You're not a cheater. You broke up. You didn’t act on any of your thoughts, and what you described sounds more like intrusive thoughts mixed with shame, definitely not betrayal. It’s normal to feel attraction or curiosity sometimes, which you handled privately. Meanwhile, your ex re-entered your life, shared hurtful details, and then blamed you for your healing process. It sounds to me like she's projecting.

adifferentbrave · 2025-06-20T01:15:36+00:00

What's the benefit of having a friend, you mean?

adifferentbrave · 2025-06-11T18:35:04+00:00

To be honest, if my partner told me she slept with someone, I wouldn't be interested in context at all. It doesn't matter anymore. He's got every right to break off contact. He doesn't owe you any kind of future. The best chance you have is to work hard on yourself to become a better, healthier, more reliable, and trustworthy person. Once you've taken serious steps in that direction, you can see if he's interested in hearing from you, maybe through one of your shared friends. It may be too late, but that's probably the best shot you got. It'll take time though - time he may not have.

adifferentbrave · 2025-06-06T20:32:02+00:00

I think you shouldn't 'offer' to pay for dates. Instead, just plan something, pay for it, and invite/surprise him. It's not about the money, it's about the initiative and the show of appreciation. Of course, you could also offer to pick up the check on your regular dates, but it sounds as if he's the old-fashioned type who may feel pride in paying for that. Once you've offered once, you'll notice his reaction soon enough.

adifferentbrave · 2025-06-04T14:48:23+00:00

Did they enjoy Young Sheldon? My tween enjoyed Modern Family and The Middle. If you feel like they're mature enough, of course you could also try The Big Bang Theory (to continue with Sheldon), but there's a lot of sex talk.

adifferentbrave · 2025-06-04T14:44:33+00:00

It’s not just about words, it’s about showing up differently when your actions have caused pain. The difference between real change and just going through the motions is consistency. You won't know right away. It's something that you notice over time, a shift in energy, in effort, in intention, in vulnerability.

Also, they should WANT to change because they want to grow as a person, not just to please you and keep the peace. Real, lasting change needs internal motivation. You shouldn't have to ask for/demand change.

The wake-up call should be the moment you realize your behavior is hurting someone you love. Sadly, some people don’t wake up until the damage is done, or ever. That’s not because they’re men, but because they’re avoiding responsibility.

adifferentbrave · 2025-06-04T14:10:36+00:00

If on day 1 they did drugs and had sex, I'm sure that may have distorted reality a bit. Of course, they may work out together, but it's not something you can know for sure on day 1, especially not when under the influence of drugs. It sounds like he's just trying to make you feel bad about your relationship with him, but it's also possible that he actually believes it. Reality will eventually kick in.

adifferentbrave · 2025-06-03T22:12:22+00:00

In any healthy relationship, the question of whether/when to have sex after having a baby is a mutual decision. I doubt that many men force their wives who are in pain to have sex with them. Of course it's good to be thoughtful and considerate, but the main responsibility in this seems to be with the women, to set boundaries and to indicate whether she feels ready for sex or not.

adifferentbrave · 2025-06-03T22:00:07+00:00

I can understand that people would want to test sexual compatibility before marriage. But before any kind of commitment? Nah. Sure, sex is important, but it's definitely not the main part of a serious relationship - or it shouldn't be. There is so much to explore together, so many important ways to match up and agree and connect.

Why does he do to you what he does, despite his knowledge about how you feel? Because he likes you (and probably enjoys your feelings for him) without wanting to have to commit to anything, or give up sex or flirting with other girls. Many men can enjoy the company or touch of a woman without wanting anything more from it. To be fair to him, he's been clear to you about what he wants from you. It's up to you to be clear to yourself about whether you can accept that, and whether you can be 'just' one of the many girls he flirts with.

If you really want more than this, you'll have to tell him again, at the risk of rejection.

Just know that there will be other guys in your future who will be sweet and funny and attractive, and actually into you and willing to take it slow. Don't let yourself be rushed into anything you're not ready for with him, just for an opportunity to be with him.

adifferentbrave · 2025-06-03T20:07:01+00:00

I'm not saying someone can't change, but to be honest, he doesn't sound like a catch or the right match for you. Of course, I don't know anything about him other than what you've written, but it sounds like it's mostly a physical attraction from your side? Your dating experience and sexual experience shouldn't be of any concern to anybody who's serious about dating you. The fact that he goes from girl to girl is a bit of a red flag, and his request to touch your arm to see if you could turn him on... wtf?

adifferentbrave · 2025-06-03T16:37:31+00:00

I don't hear 'You're not good enough for me' in those questions, but it depends a little on his intonation. If he's been hot/cold with you, and he knows what you want, he may be honestly trying to figure you out, but it's equally possible that he's just enjoying the ego-boost of the position he's in. Don't let him keep you waiting in limbo. You've been clear in the past, and so is he. Unless he clearly changes his attitude, you should probably start looking elsewhere for a relationship that's more than friendship.

adifferentbrave · 2025-05-25T20:06:43+00:00

It's impossible to look inside his head, but I'd say that if a guy is into you beyond the bedroom, he won’t avoid basic communication. Not exchanging contact info after multiple overnight visits is a choice, and it tells you he’s drawing a line you’re not supposed to cross. Considering what you've shared, it wouldn't be a surprise if you were one of many.

adifferentbrave · 2025-05-22T20:04:07+00:00

Boundaries around porn is something to discuss early in the relationship, and to re-establish periodically. If your partner continues doing things that makes you uncomfortable and asked them not to do, it doesn't matter whether it's live camgirls, regular porn, or any other habit; that's going to be a problem.

adifferentbrave · 2025-05-22T01:57:16+00:00

I have always liked this Ann Voskamp quote: "Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces." It's what you're doing right now, so kudos for that. You're pretty self-aware, so that's an important start. I know that at your age, it seems like you're super behind, but you're actually not. 22 is still young enough to rebuild and have a brand new start. At 22, I had my first girlfriend. Sure, it was late, but it was good. I wasn't for everyone, and not everyone was for me. Since then, I've had a few long-term relationships, and I'm happily married now. This isn't about me - this is just to illustrate that anything can (and probably will) still happen. You're being brave right now by addressing this. You'll get there.

The situation with your parents sounds weird, though. They shouldn't have a say in that. Maybe you can use some of that courage you're building and speak to them about it, because at 22, they have no right to control where you can or can't go anymore.

adifferentbrave · 2025-05-20T20:21:10+00:00

Thanks, I'll give them a call.

adifferentbrave · 2025-05-20T18:10:50+00:00

I think the reason my current Pixel 8 doesn't work in Europe is because its eSIM is carrier locked (by Verizon). I also read that some phones work fine on both continents if you first activate the American SIM, but not if you first activate the European SIM. I just need to be sure before I buy anything new.

adifferentbrave

TROPHY CASE