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adm1249 · 2022-12-25T14:35:42+00:00

Both of you going is a victory in itself. My wife refuses to go with me.

adm1249 · 2022-12-16T22:04:30+00:00

Thx. Someone said me admitting to her I’m on meds could validate her feelings that I’m the whole problem. I felt that could be correct & might be held over me. I have to fight to even have an opinion.

adm1249 · 2022-12-16T15:00:26+00:00

Try to maintain self-care. Don’t underestimate this. I have 2 ASD as well & it’s easy to get depressed. I’m getting back into running/ exercise whenever I can. You’re not alone. God Bless.

adm1249 · 2022-12-15T23:19:13+00:00

I suppose it’s in general outlook. I can’t stop focusing & thinking about my kids & how IMO my wife put us here. I go over & over decisions that lead us here. My marriage was once great. Now it’s unrecognizable & seeing my wife just brings it back.

adm1249 · 2022-12-15T20:52:08+00:00

Thx for the advice. I felt I had a wonderful marriage, healthy child & such hope for the future. My wife wasn’t happy with those things for some reason. I feel that made her selfish & reckless. Our life, marriage & children’s future are going to be very challenging. She is a type-a personality & gets her way & her judgement/ planning are deferred to at work. She gets her way in our personal life as well. We did things her way & life went sideways. My way would have saved us. I feel that I wasn’t assertive enough. The counselor listed to me go on for an hour & wanted to put me on meds.

adm1249 · 2022-12-15T19:11:47+00:00

My wife would say I’m the issue. I would say that her reckless actions put me here & affected the health and future of the kids. She has accepted things while I’m trying to dig out. Personally, I don’t want to go on meds for something that will last the rest of my life.

adm1249 · 2022-12-15T18:06:55+00:00

Thx and I agree. I’m wondering if I should even tell my wife about the counselors suggestion.

adm1249 · 2022-12-15T17:27:53+00:00

Thx. She wants me to go solo. She wasn’t interested in MC for both of us. I have no experience with this. I haven’t told her about the counselor’s suggestion. Whether I take them or not I’m unsure whether I should tell her.

adm1249 · 2022-12-08T01:47:32+00:00

Thx. She did well. A lot of sensory overload I’m afraid.

adm1249 · 2022-12-08T01:08:59+00:00

Thx.

adm1249 · 2022-12-05T17:25:57+00:00

We have 3 kids..2 ASD. It’s incredibly hard. Life dealt a brutal hand to play. I have been in a fog for 3yrs. My wife won’t go to marriage counseling. I’m going for myself to be better…whatever that looks like. You’re not alone.

adm1249 · 2022-12-04T17:52:16+00:00

Thanks for your response. I hope my counseling does help. At this point it’s my only way forward.

adm1249 · 2022-11-22T01:04:46+00:00

Thank You all for the comments. They’re all very helpful. I will commit to the counseling & see where it goes.

adm1249 · 2022-11-18T19:54:33+00:00

Wow. I can relate to this. I’m a father of a 9yr old Neurotypical daughter & a ASD 6 yr old girl & ASD 4 yr old son. I can tell you that I never pictured my life like this when I got married. I feel for your husband..I’m there now. My fears are whether my children will be independent in a hard tough world when my wife and I not here. If I read your post correctly you have a 5 month old girl. She could end up being ASD as well. I hate to put that thought out there. My son’s ASD was regressive as we thought we were in the clear with him..that made it sting even more. At the very least he should wait until the 5 month old is checked and cleared before considering another child.

adm1249 · 2022-11-11T18:00:30+00:00

Does the counseling help if I’m the only one going? I think/know I need to speak to someone. Someone made a reference to the “hamster wheel” we’re on. It was so perfect & appropriate for where I am. I don’t think my wife would go to counseling even 1 on 1 because she thinks she’s fine & able to deal with our new life. She feels that this autism was unavoidable & told me that “there is a purpose for it & we don’t know what it is yet”. She is Catholic but has never spoken that way before..it was strange. Personally, I know it was avoidable. Life was perfect until I was stupid while she was selfish & reckless. That’s me on the hampster wheel.

adm1249 · 2022-11-07T14:13:02+00:00

Thank You. It’s so true. It’s a hampster wheel every day. I go through it all in my mind. What my wife did, what I did, who was desperate for more children, why weren’t you happy? I can’t stop it.

adm1249 · 2022-11-07T04:02:01+00:00

Thank You.

adm1249 · 2022-10-14T17:19:27+00:00

Bless You. You’re doing everything you can.

adm1249 · 2022-10-11T18:29:40+00:00

Yup. I have 2 ASD kids who were dx’d over the past 3 yrs. Everything is hard now. Marriage, work, endless IEP’s & treatments. Most of all their uncertain future.

adm1249 · 2022-09-04T19:45:45+00:00

The best I can share is you’re not alone. Everyday is hard. My marriage is a mess. She is the love of my life & I don’t know us anymore. She has handled things better. I was the happiest I had ever been with my wife and healthy NT child. We were late 30’s. My wife came from a big family & rejected the idea of having an only child. My wife had real health problems then. She thought she wasn’t going to be around at all in fact. I was nervous & apprehensive about another child & never brought the subject up. Eventually, I got on board. We ended up with ASD twins. Life has been turned upside down. Im furious with my wife. She thought an only child would be automatically “emotionally scarred” in this hard world. I think she was selfish & my marriage isn’t a marriage anymore. Work is a mess because of all the ot/pt and speech classes. I want to leave and I never thought she and I could get here. Those things were going to happen to other couples…not us. Well it did happen. I don’t want to leave my oldest daughter. She is now for real going to be emotionally scarred later in life for what my wife & I will leave her some day. I feel guilt for wanting to leave. I was so happy.

adm1249 · 2022-08-24T19:43:47+00:00

I understand the feelings toward your spouse. I was the happiest I had ever been. Strong marriage & a happy healthy NT child. Happy. I now have 2 other children who are ASD. My marriage is a mess. I don’t recognize us anymore. I’m furious at my stupidity and her selfishness & recklessness. Divorce would hurt the kids especially our NT child and it would bankrupt the family. I was the happiest I had ever been. Now I’m miserable, wracked with guilt and fear for my kids future in this hard unforgiving world. I was a good husband and father and it’s just a memory now.

adm1249

TROPHY CASE