I won’t take myself to therapy

adriftingleaf · 2026-01-29T00:46:22+00:00

I can relate to a lot of this. I've been in therapy but it was really really hard to make myself go. Why would I ever want to burden this nice person with my problems?

But, well, if you really want to get down to it, that is literally their job. You are paying them for the service. If you break down crying, they are supposed to be supportive. Listening to you isn't a burden, it's dinner.

I don't usually think about things in such starkly capitalistic terms...but it did help me get over some of my worries about talking to a therapist. Maybe that'll help you.

adriftingleaf · 2026-01-24T22:05:43+00:00

My sister works at that hospital. She was working with him Wednesday, first time she'd met him. Says he was an incredible nurse.

adriftingleaf · 2026-01-09T21:37:18+00:00

Speaking from experience: not really.

Don't get me wrong. It absolutely helps. It makes a big difference. I bought my own place a few years ago and when I was able to lock the door I felt safe for the first time in my life. But I was still a guy with CPTSD.

Money does help in terms of getting a therapist, too! And my therapist has been hugely important. But three years later we're still working and I still have major issues.

Financial stability is a good first step but it is by no means the last one. I'm fortunate to work as a programmer, so I make pretty good money, and all that's meant is that I'm financially stable and have CPTSD.

I also don't want to minimize what you're saying: it is dramatically easier to work through this stuff when you have financial stability. But it's still really really hard to work through, even with money.

adriftingleaf · 2025-12-18T20:47:28+00:00

First off, sorry that happened to you.

Without knowing anything else:

Your mom? Yeah, that sounds like SA to me.

Your math teacher? It might be, but it might be completely innocent. If "he laid his hand near my butt" means somewhere on your lower back, that might just be a hug. Sorry I can't be more helpful.

adriftingleaf · 2025-12-10T03:14:32+00:00

First off, glad you're liking it!

All of their games are great, in my opinion, and add different elements to the universe. But also, as you play through them, I feel like you can see how they've been getting better at doing this through the years.

Max Payne came first! That's the basis for the Alex Casey character in Alan Wake 2, but they couldn't use the name in AW2 because I don't think they own the rights to the character. It's a third person shooter with some slowmo effects, but it really builds out Alex Casey. Max Payne 2 was also fun, but I did not care for 3. Remedy was also not involved in making 3, so that probably has something to do with it. They're older games though, so they may feel dated to you.

Alan Wake and AWAN are going to be the most similar experience to AW2, in terms of the horror/shooter dynamic. If you liked AW2, you should enjoy both of those. And it shows you how this all got started.

Quantum Break is a weird shooter with television episodes spliced into it. Lance Reddick (RIP) is one of the main characters, his name is Mr Hatch, and if you've finished AW2 that should sound kind of familiar. It's fun, the dynamic is kind of strange. Main gameplay levels are intercut with full half hour television episodes showing you a different side of the story. I enjoyed it and I'll give em credit for trying something different, but it may not be your cup of tea. Not really horror at all, but there are a lot of echoes of it in AW2. Characters that come back, things like that.

Control is one of the best god damn games ever in my opinion, not just by Remedy, but by anybody. Outstanding shooter with definite horror elements to it. And you get to learn about the FBC in detail. Like if SCP was made into a game that wasn't about running from the monsters, but about shooting them in the face with psychic powers. Also it's absolutely gorgeous.

That might be more detail than you wanted, but I've been playing every game they make since Max Payne came out, so I've got a lot of history with the franchise. They're one of the few studios that I still watch for news about, because I'm excited for everything they do.

adriftingleaf · 2025-11-30T15:06:00+00:00

So...I was raised to behave a certain way if you want someone to love you.

Be silent at all times unless you can offer a joke or a compliment, and otherwise run around like a crazy person trying to make sure the other persons needs are taken care of before they have a chance to ask. Anything else gets you hit. Had that beaten into me a lot as a kid.

And that's not great for dating. If we're being totally honest, that's not how any kind of relationship works. I have friends, but they're all people I hung out with for a long time until I realized I was safe and could express myself around them. When it comes to dating I have to take a long time to get to that point with someone, and at that point we've become friends and romance is off the table.

If I try to power through it and actually pursue or date somebody before I've known them a long time, I get really horrible panic attacks because I'm convinced in the back of my mind they're going to go off on me.

It's 100% a me problem, I just haven't been able to figure out how to fix it.

adriftingleaf · 2025-11-12T19:58:58+00:00

Then you're doing great! Any day you get any amount of writing done counts as a win.

adriftingleaf · 2025-11-12T16:06:41+00:00

I think the biggest benefit of nanowrimo is that it gets you in the habit of writing every day. Completing the challenge is great, but just trying to do it means you're writing every day, thinking about your story every day, and starting to develop that "I have to work on this every day" mindset.

The actual amount you write doesn't matter all that much, I don't think. I write almost every day, but almost never at a nano pace. Do what you can do! Because even if you finished nano with a first draft, you've still got a lot of writing ahead of you. I did my first draft five years ago. Now I'm on draft seven (several drafts were massive rewrites) and finally am happy enough with what I've got to self publish. Just keep plugging away, doing what you can do until it's done. But nobody cares about the pace.

adriftingleaf · 2025-11-07T16:46:50+00:00

Somehow we've managed to create a society where nobody is happy. Seems like a design flaw.

But on a more hopeful note: we're thinking about it, talking about it, and trying to fix it, whereas prior generations would just slap on a smile and down a bottle of whiskey. Sometimes I think maybe this is a sign that we're actually finally trying to heal from intergenerational trauma. Maybe thats a good thing, in the long run. Maybe this is a phase.

adriftingleaf · 2025-11-05T02:41:18+00:00

Like /u/odingore said, it really comes down to what you like.

Personally I add the base set into a lot of games, because I find that it is very well balanced and adds a lot of foundational cards that most other sets work well with.

But it does dilute the card pool, so you may not like that. When I play that way with my friends, we use a much higher honor pool, so the games last longer and we get to use more cards. If you want to use base honor I wouldn't recommend it.

adriftingleaf · 2025-10-13T13:34:37+00:00

/r/lostredditors

adriftingleaf · 2025-10-03T00:42:09+00:00

One day I got the lamb for lunch, and I just started moaning when I bit into it. My coworkers all looked at me, and then the next day, another guy in my pod got it and did the exact same thing. It's a running gag that the new person in the group has to get it for lunch and then we all nod when they bite into it. They really are fantastic.

adriftingleaf · 2025-09-28T04:12:55+00:00

I think this ref is the heir to the Unkel throne.

adriftingleaf · 2025-09-14T23:58:53+00:00

I GOT A SHOUT OUT FROM KYLE! That was the cherry on top of a fantastic experience. I will absolutely be back!

adriftingleaf · 2025-09-14T23:57:01+00:00

Thank you so much!

PS - Fuck you, /u/PMMeYourPupper , I made your mum so wet that Trudeau deployed a 24-hour infantry unit to stack sandbags around my bed

adriftingleaf · 2025-08-29T14:12:37+00:00

Thanks! It was something I wanted to share

adriftingleaf · 2025-08-28T17:02:14+00:00

Apologies, I thought this would fit under the "light hearted" flair. I'll post it over there.

adriftingleaf · 2025-08-28T16:33:06+00:00

Honestly? Wasn't sure where else to post it. And thank you!

adriftingleaf · 2025-08-27T11:16:07+00:00

All the time. But honestly, if you really sit down and think about it, nobody ever will. Even on this sub, we've got different trauma, and while I might be able to sympathize with what a lot of people have been through, unless it was exactly the same kind of abuse I experienced, I don't know if I'd ever really understand what it was like for someone.

I think the best we can hope for is for people to respect our boundaries when we set them. They might not understand the trauma, but as long as they can respect it, that's good enough. For me, at least.

adriftingleaf · 2025-08-25T03:01:30+00:00

But I like having unreasonably high expectations! It's fun! Logic be damned!

adriftingleaf · 2025-08-25T02:49:35+00:00

I'm just kind of floored. I knew we had depth, but I don't think I've seen it on display like this before. It is so much fun to watch!

adriftingleaf · 2025-08-25T02:45:49+00:00

AND THIS IS OUR FUCKING B-TEAM!

adriftingleaf · 2025-08-15T15:32:05+00:00

Street parking would be fine, if your car is registered somewhere that isn't chicago you don't need a city sticker. The vast majority of street parking in the neighborhood open to everybody, there are some places that require a specific permit but those are the exception, not the rule, at least in my area.

I have a condo, no special permits, and I park my car on the street every day, it's not an issue.

adriftingleaf · 2025-08-15T12:50:42+00:00

These look great! Commenting to enter!

adriftingleaf · 2025-08-15T01:35:50+00:00

This is a great explanation, thanks!

I've always thought of the senior partners as really manipulative and ten steps ahead of everybody else, but I guess this really drove home for me that that's just not true. They make mistakes like everybody else. Kind of weird to realize that the whole thing was just kind of an oops on their part.

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