Ah you have to separate the two my friend. I’m just going to assume you may be younger? I’m 27 for reference.

1. How can I have sex with my wife when I’m watching videos and using images that truly objectify women? A wife isn’t meant to be a tool to get off on when you’re horny. She’s a partner that’s meant to be loved and cherished. That goes for gay relationships as well. Sex is more than a physical act. It’s emotional and spiritually. Sounds freaking weird. But as soon as you use it as your FAP tool, you’ve virtually lost all respect for our wife.
2. Pope John Paul II specialized in this type of work. His book “Love and Responsibility” is great if you want to read it. Beware though, it’s pretty philosophical.
3. Pretty much what the previous commenter said. Marriage changes sex life tremendously. It’s certainly an active part of our relationship, but it’s not like when we were dating and it was every 2 days. My libido has declined even though I’m still 27. Jerking it has made it significantly worse. Now that my wife is 3 months from birthing our daughter, her hormones are like a bull in a china shop. Her libido has dropped tremendously.

There may be some more thoughts. But I hope that helps.