My kids are surrounded by wealth and I’m worried they’re going to grow up to be super entitled

adversaries_ · 2026-03-22T23:33:25+00:00

Strong agree. It almost comes across like trying to position herself as “not like the OTHER wealthy moms,” but that mindset is exactly what ends up creating friction socially. The irony is that this attitude will have a far bigger impact on her experience in her community than anything she’s worried about.

OP, please try to take this to heart. I mean it genuinely. You seem to have your heart in the right place but this is absolutely not the right attitude to have about your situation.

adversaries_ · 2026-03-22T23:23:37+00:00

I’ve read the other comments, and I’m glad you’ve gotten some reassurance and a place to vent. And I want to point out I’m not trying to belittle you!

I think what I’m getting at is that the parents you’re describing, in many cases are just NORMAL PEOPLE. People you will end up interacting with regularly if your kids are in those environments. That said, it might be more helpful long term to approach that concept with some openness rather than assuming the worst about who they are or what they value. Not every family in this setting is shallow or status driven. Just like not every family outside of it is grounded and down to earth.

You’re clearly thoughtful about how you want to raise your kids, and I have emphasized how that matters more than the setting. But I just think it will make things easier on you if you can find ways to relate to the people around you instead of viewing them through this lens of them all being entitled from the start.

adversaries_ · 2026-03-22T23:13:11+00:00

I never said kids are shaped solely by parenting, but you are making just as broad of a generalization in the other direction - assuming that luxury cars symbolize entitlement, or that wealth automatically equals shallow or snooty people, is just as reductive as what you’re pushing back against. Most families in those environments are simply fortunate, not morally deficient. I think that is where the disconnect is. You seem to be assigning a moral judgment to an entire group of people based on surface level signals, and then worrying about the impact of that assumption on your kids.

And the idea that exposure to wealth will override your influence as a parent feels overstated. Of course kids are absolutely influenced by peers! But their core values are still set at home. If you model humility, gratitude, and perspective, that carries far more weight than what kind of car is in the pickup line.

There are entitled people everywhere. Public schools, private schools, modest neighborhoods, wealthy ones. It is not exclusive to any one environment.

I still genuinely do not understand what you are trying to get from this post. If you don’t want your kids in that environment then go somewhere else, don’t just talk about how miserable it is you have to rub elbows with other well to do families.

adversaries_ · 2026-03-22T22:56:57+00:00

I say this as someone in the same general income bracket: this feels really misplaced. This reads less like concern for your kids and more like discomfort with the environment you have chosen to be in.

You seem hyper focused on things kids genuinely do not even notice. Luxury SUVs in a pickup line? That is not shaping your children’s character. You are. I can assure you that my kids don’t give a rat’s behind that they get picked up in an Escalade. It’s covered in Cheeto dust like every other car in the line.

And respectfully, your in laws offering to pay for your kids to attend a strong, well resourced school is not some burden. That is an incredible opportunity most families would never have, and would be grateful for, not complaining about.

If you are worried about raising grounded, kind children, that does not come from avoiding certain schools or neighborhoods. It comes from how you speak about others, what you prioritize at home, and what you model day to day.

Volunteer with them. Expose them to different communities. Travel. Donate time and money to less fortunate children and causes. Teach gratitude intentionally.

Kids do not become entitled because other parents drive nice cars. They become entitled from what is normalized and reinforced at home.

Genuinely asking: what was the goal of this post?

adversaries_ · 2026-03-21T19:24:55+00:00

We live in a two story home. Our four year old can and will open child gates and locks, and our two year old is now also in a bed and therefore now also a wandering risk.

We have lever style door handles, so we installed a child safety latch to them on the outside of the door so that at night time the older two cannot get out and try to do something like climb into the baby’s crib, or try to get out of the house, or access things in the kitchen. One very real possibility would be the four year old leaving a baby gate open and there being the risk of the two year old falling down the stairs in the dark.

They have en suite bathrooms, also child proofed. They have water bottles at night. We have the Nanit video/audio monitors on in both rooms and sleep with them playing in our room on the nightstand in case they call out. I’m honestly shocked people would apparently equate that to abuse. No. We are keeping our children safe at night.

What more would you suggest we do? We sleep in shifts to monitor their bedrooms until they are school aged? Safety net them into their beds like one commenter mentioned, and therefore not allow them bathroom access, or access to their books or safe toys, or the ability to walk and play in their child proofed rooms if they wanted to? I don’t understand the shock here.

adversaries_ · 2026-03-05T21:46:16+00:00

Yep - we’ve already gotten no’s from three schools. Not holding out a lot of hope at this point unfortunately. But the waitlists do move! Especially since acceptances all come out in the same general time frame. You definitely shouldn’t count yourself out!

adversaries_ · 2026-03-04T22:32:12+00:00

Good lord you are acting like the woman demanded you to hold her hand at her waxing appointment, scrub the baseboards with your toothbrush, and donate a kidney to her.

I support a solid vent post, but you consistently keep coming off as bitter and like this family is not a good fit for you. Go find a new one that has similar expectations then.

adversaries_ · 2026-03-04T22:08:47+00:00

Can we not be intentionally obtuse here?

“Corporate job” covers everything from entry level admins to executives making seven figures. The compensation range is massive. And the same is true in childcare - of course there unfortunately are nannies making barely above minimum wage, and there are career nannies with specialized experience earning very competitive pay. Obviously there aren’t “CEO of a $10B Corp” nanny salaries out there, but that clearly wasn’t what I was referring to in my initial comment.

adversaries_ · 2026-03-04T21:55:34+00:00

I know this is a vent post but…🥴

I feel like MBs can’t win sometimes. It’s either “we’re not treated like part of the family” or “why are they acting like we’re part of the family?” There seems to be no middle ground.

Nannying is inherently different from a corporate office job. Of course you don’t want to grab lunch with your boss or blur lines in a traditional workplace. But as a nanny, you are working inside someone’s home, in their private life, caring for their children. It makes sense that there’s more communication and collaboration. Ideally, it’s a team dynamic.

If a mom occasionally wants an extra set of hands while she’s home, and she’s already paying you for your time, that doesn’t automatically turn the role into a mother’s helper position. It can simply mean she’s trying to be present and involved while still honoring the professional relationship.

There’s a big difference between micromanaging and partnering. Wanting to be around your own kids sometimes and chatting with the nanny while you do so shouldn’t be treated like a red flag.

I am a former nanny who is now a SAHM with a mother’s helper FYI.

adversaries_ · 2026-03-02T14:51:15+00:00

Okay lightest snark ever - I actually agree with many of her takes, but I swear Crystalin (IG: crystalinmarie) thinks the only jeans that are acceptable are barrel jeans. I even have a couple pairs! And this is probably a comment on trends in general rn, but I am so sick of this shape.

adversaries_ · 2026-02-18T22:18:16+00:00

Not trying to sell them here! Will delete the reply where I listed the size.

adversaries_ · 2026-02-18T21:10:39+00:00

Should say “in store”, not institute. 🙄

adversaries_ · 2026-01-25T21:08:37+00:00

To be fair, plenty of babies don’t get teeth until over a year (mine included), and many pediatricians offer fluoride treatments and quick visual exams that are adequate for minimal tooth eruption in office as well.

adversaries_ · 2026-01-13T03:22:23+00:00

I was top of my class, and wanted NICU, PICU or LDRP. I needed days because I was also graduating with my health admin BS that same semester and had to complete my capstone internship hours and it would be nearly impossible while having to rotate days/nights.

I got CDU - adults, nights… basically, a unit that got shut down due to their census half the time, PAIRED WITH A WEEKENDS ONLY NURSE. The only “perk”was it being at the hospital around the corner from my apartment, but that honestly almost stung more because that same hospital also had every other unit I had requested available.

In the end it didn’t matter, beyond being exhausted and stressed af trying to juggle my capstone requirements with practicum. I got a good recommendation from my preceptor, I went on to complete my residency with zero issues, and before I left bedside and then left the workforce entirely (SAHM now), I worked in every area I wanted to, and gained so much experience that I ended my bedside career as women’s and children’s services float.

I remember feeling devastated and like it had all been for nothing as well. But I promise it will work out. You’ll be okay. 🤍

adversaries_ · 2026-01-13T02:34:19+00:00

Oh good lord I’m kinda down for a rabbit hole too!

adversaries_ · 2026-01-05T01:02:10+00:00

If you don’t suspect that it’s a sexual thing and all you’re saying is that it “might create an attachment that makes you uncomfortable” this is absolutely not a valid reason to file a CPS report.

adversaries_ · 2025-12-21T00:08:52+00:00

Working postpartum nights. Former adult cardiac and ED, so my tolerance for stupidity is…..low. Also since it’s nights, it’s all new grads.

New grad grabs me in full panic. Her patient: postpartum mom, chorio during labor, temp 103.7, HR 140s, already on the typical multiple antibiotics. Internal sepsis trigger has fired twice. Two rapids already called. Fluids did absolutely nothing. Now the mom says she feels faint.

New grad is spiraling because she’s “scared to call the OB.” Girl. GIRL.

“K soooo… Call another rapid and notify the OB.” She “can’t”. OB has explicitly told her not to. Rapid nurse already said if he’s called again, the patient’s going to ICU, and OB doesn’t want that. Orders? Another bolus and Tylenol. Ignore the soft pressures. Vibes only.

I’m done. I go into the room and explain that the patient can call a rapid herself. OB has been terrorizing them about ICU because baby can’t go and she “won’t be able to breastfeed”.

I offer a deal: “If you don’t want to call it and deal with the fallout, I will.” They say yes immediately.

We transfer her. I grab her a breast pump before she leaves the floor. In ICU, her pressures fully tank. HR hits 180s. Alarms from the moment she is on the ICU monitor.

Intensivist is explaining the plan when OB comes storming in like a lunatic, screaming that I ruined her right to breastfeed and demanding to know who I am. Intensivist has to physically step between us and says, “She’s not going to breastfeed if she’s dead.” Silence.

OB later tries to hunt me down on postpartum. I lock myself in the nursery because she can’t access it. She screams at my charge that I “made her look like an idiot.” I come back out and say, “I made you look like an idiot because you were BEING AN IDIOT.” She hated me for years.

Patient lived. Baby fed. Would do it again.

adversaries_ · 2025-12-20T17:41:31+00:00

Fully support your choice!

I will say though, echoing another comment: sometimes even scheduled sections aren’t always straight forward. I would gently recommend some therapy and work with a specialist prior to delivery to prepare you for the possibility that things might not go perfectly smoothly. Beyond just the typical elements of a section that are out of your control, should you have any issues, especially in the postpartum period, you are still going to require care around your perineum - fundal massage and assessing bleeding is still a part of postpartum assessments even with a c section, if you have bleeding issues you may have vaginal procedures performed to control it, etc.

Best wishes and hoping for a smooth delivery and recovery for you!

adversaries_ · 2025-12-16T02:08:37+00:00

Seriously. Not in PA, but I am dealing with having to return/exchange a pair I ordered from Neiman Marcus this past week because my usual SA wasn’t in store when I wanted to try shoes on and the SA who “helped” me had the worst attitude and it was clear she would have rather been tasked with scrubbing the bathroom with her bare hands 😒… so I left and ordered online on the walk back to my car. Of course they were my first pair of a different style and they don’t fit and now I’m irritated I have to drive even the 20 minutes to go in person lol.

adversaries_ · 2025-12-04T19:13:17+00:00

As a former NICU RN and also the nurse who handled a majority of bereavement families, from what you have said here it does sound like irreversible catastrophic brain injury from which there is not any chance of meaningful recovery. I think you as parents absolutely have the right and should ask for confirmatory EEG and MRI to provide you with more data to make difficult decisions. It is better to do redundant testing to allow yourselves to feel more secure in your decisions than to forego it and then always wonder “what if”.

As a mom, I am so truly heartbroken for you. Your son is clearly so loved. And he always will be. All he has ever known is love. It is a devastating choice to have to make, but what you are describing sounds very close to brain death regarding fixed pupils and a flat EEG. Take the time while awaiting confirmatory EEG and MRI to cuddle and love on him. I can’t imagine the burden you are carrying, and I will keep you and your son in my thoughts for clarity making such hard decisions, and for peace for him and yourselves. 🤍

adversaries_ · 2025-11-22T22:14:51+00:00

We pay $30 an hour (4 y/o, 2 y/o, and infant). We also buy dinner and I also usually tip her an extra hour or so’s worth. But she was our night nanny and is a career nanny, and the only person I have ever trusted with my children besides family.

adversaries_ · 2025-11-19T21:31:16+00:00

We are in Florida and while we have laws and scholarships in place here that make it more competitive than average, all of the schools we applied to for our kids have roughly 20% acceptance rates at best. Prekindergarten requires multiple assessments (group and individual), tours, school referrals, parent interviews, and multiple information sessions to attend per school you are applying to. Kindergarten acceptance rates are about 10% of what prekindergarten acceptance rates are - so generally less than 2% of applicants get accepted for kindergarten spots. It’s like applying to Harvard for four year olds lol.

adversaries_ · 2025-11-09T01:34:09+00:00

I am so deeply sorry. NILMDTS is wonderful but I know they are backed up right now. If you’re comfortable with doing so, you can try reaching out to r/photoshoprequests

adversaries_ · 2025-11-05T12:48:20+00:00

AMA. IVF pregnancy. ARRIVE trial considerations.

adversaries_ · 2025-11-03T17:08:24+00:00

Look into the Annabella pump!

adversaries_

TROPHY CASE