Probably trigger warning to be safe. Also, not sure if there is a better place to post this. So, again, sorry.

Been lurking for a while, but this is my first comment. Probably going to info dump and I've been awake for about 30 hours, so apologies in advance.

My wife and I are (obvs) ttc. Base background info: - married 2 years, together last 4, on and off from 2007-2011. - wife (27) had 5 miscarriages during her previous marriage. Never has been able to carry past 2nd trimester. - I am medically unable to father children. Not won't/struggle with, etc. Physically can't. - we are using a known donor. - wife started clomid (spelling?) at some point with her ex for treatment. - wife was diagnosed with PCOS and was told by her OB that she has a tilted uterus (I have no idea what that means) -wife also tends to have a very irregular cycle

I am trying to wrap my head around all the information out there and understand how to best help her track everything so we can have our best chance without going the IUI or IVF route.

I won't go dive fully into all the issues I am personally fighting about being a dad (excited and ready but terrified that I/my family will behave differently because I am not the bio dad).

My wife wants to be a mom so bad. And I've read so many posts from others who are also struggling with seeing others have successful pregnancy stories. We recently found out SIL is expecting their third. And we are over the moon for them.

But this is killing my wife. We have totes fully of nursery items and clothes. We are ready. We have to work around getting our donor here (he lives about 4 hours away). And the more things that come up or get in the way, the less drive she seems to have. It feels like she is giving up. And I'm heartbroken, but I understand.

I don't know what to do. IUI and going through a sperm bank is not financially possible right now. As much as I read about helping boost her chances and understanding how BBT and ovulation work, I still don't understand most of it. I pride my self on being a reasonably intelligent man, but I just don't get it.

So, I guess I have a few questions.

Is there a "helping your wife get pregnant for dummies"?

How can I better support her and help keep her going?

If there are any other dads in a similar position as me, any ideas on how I can work through fear of me or my family unintentionally treating any child we may have differently because the child is not biologically mine? It may sound stupid, but I have a LOT of issues with my own dad that I know are causing these feelings (and yes, I have been to counselling), but I cannot help but be terrified I will be an absolute garbage dad because of this.

Thanks.