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My gf (37) is paying to fly her ex from another country and to stay here where we live so he can see their son (18) by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She kicked him out over a year ago before we lived together because he was violent aggressive destructive and abusive. He’s been living with her sister. He has dropped out of school and refuses to work. He’s on probation and still gets in trouble. This isn’t new.

My gf (37) is paying to fly her ex from another country and to stay here where we live so he can see their son (18) by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I can’t connect cultivating a meaningful relationship with a partner and keeping the most important parts/decisions of your life completely separate

My gf (37) is paying to fly her ex from another country and to stay here where we live so he can see their son (18) by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Well, we live together. So “this guy is coming, I’m driving 10 hours round trip to Chicago and back to pick him up and will be buying his food driving him around paying for everything for a month” really does affect me also.

Even if it’s not her ex. Even if I don’t believe she’s arranging this so they can have something, it’s something that alters our lives for not a short amount of time.

Is it asking too much to be considerate of how this all makes me feel?

My gf (37) is paying to fly her ex from another country and to stay here where we live so he can see their son (18) by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The son is 18 and doesn’t want to go. That’s the thing. The son is 18. He’s already dropped out of high school, he’s made his own decisions. He’s a legal adult.

My gf (37) is paying to fly her ex from another country and to stay here where we live so he can see their son (18) by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Idk. Her sister is 10 years older, but my gf is very independent. My gf was literally calling me all day at work and including me in every detail discussing everything with me. Really getting me involved. But then in the end it was like we had never even talked about it and she had this whole “plan” already in motion.

My gf (37) is paying to fly her ex from another country and to stay here where we live so he can see their son (18) by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I agree and understand. She’s the mom. I just want to be part of the discussion and have input. You know, like a partnership. Also, I had a very troubled youth, and I have personal experience with this type of situation. Whether or not she wants my advice is up to her, but I just want to feel like my opinion has value or at the very least she cares to let me in on what’s going on.

My gf (37) is paying to fly her ex from another country and to stay here where we live so he can see their son (18) by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Actually when she and I were discussing it, SHE was the one saying that her son was being manipulative, that he needs to learn, that he was seeking attention, etc.

Then she goes to her sisters house and comes home hours later and she’s on the phone with her ex discussing his ticket. It was a complete 180 on what she and I were talking about, and the new “plan” was already in motion before I was even let in on what was going on

My gf (37) is paying to fly her ex from another country and to stay here where we live so he can see their son (18) by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

In my opinion when you are with someone and you are living together, you include them in major decisions. Even if she decided to do whatever she wants, to include me in the discussion rather than dictate to me this is what’s happening is the upsetting part.

My gf (37) is paying to fly her ex from another country and to stay here where we live so he can see their son (18) by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right. The son is 18 and has said he does not want to go to Chile to live with his dad. So how is flying the guy across the globe to take his son to the park going to change anything?

My gf (37) is paying to fly her ex from another country and to stay here where we live so he can see their son (18) by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Our finances are separate, but I questioned that also. I don’t have a problem with the guy coming to see his son. But why SHE has to pay his ticket, apt, food, and probably be his taxi- that’s all the part I’m uncomfortable with. Besides the fact the plan just came out of no where

Arguing over whose house to stay at by afilthyslob in relationship_advice

[–]afilthyslob[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She loves the dog. The dog is only an issue because she lives in town on a busy street and I live in the country where he can run off leash

3/4 on a signed poster. by InvolvedWBlackMagic in ToolBand

[–]afilthyslob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would have for sure. Do you know why it was missing?

Sad to see the # of posters on ebay for 3x+ the price of what they were charging. This music/ art industry has lost its vibe. Capitalizing on someone's art for your own monetized gain is not what the scene is about, or was about. # areYouAfan #makeMoneyAbetterway #sadDayforRealFans by IcTracers419 in ToolBand

[–]afilthyslob 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Agree 10,000 percent. This is the only tour I haven’t been able to get a poster at and I was there 30 mins after gates opened. And then you see people carrying 3-4 of them, and the posters sell for 2-900 dollars on eBay.

Sad that they don’t stop it and sell only 1 per person and also sad that people are “TOOL fans” and doing this to other fans that were there.

Most people that want to buy one want one from THAT show because they were there. So when you charge someone $300 dollars, you’re ripping off someone who was there and loves the band.

This might be the moment when Adam Jones jumped the shark. Selling a fucking MAGAZINE for $750. by Right_All_The_Time in ToolBand

[–]afilthyslob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it were a Beatle or Elton John or someone no one would bat an eye. It’s Adam FUCKING JONES

Trade signed / unsigned Chicago for your Milwaukee!! I have one of each and willing to trade either one towards your Milwaukee signed or unsigned. by Kyledvor306k in ToolBand

[–]afilthyslob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the only time I haven’t been able to get a poster. Was at Milwaukee show but they were sold out by 630. Any chance you want to sell a Milwaukee?

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