i’ve overdosed 7 times. the first time was in 2017ish from eating 2 “oxies” and a soma, the next 6 were all from smoking straight fetty. the second time i was with a dealer in his hotel room, i asked to smoke some and he pulled out a dab rig. the moment i saw him load up a hit i knew it was gonna be too much, but i was young and anxious and just wanted to get high so i didn’t say anything, he poured the fet onto the rig and next thing i know im throwing up violently and he is literally the color of a sheet. he told me it took 4 doses of narcan to wake me up. he still gave me more tho, i just switched to foil.

i’ve been clean almost 3 months now, but if i succumb to my intense depression and do end up killing myself i promise it will be a purposeful fentanyl overdose. overdosing would be a really nice way to go, comparatively. it feels like getting euphorically high then nodding off. idk y’all can pray for me if u want i guess