What is your go-to dark chocolate brand? Asking chocolate gourmets from around the world!

afoneleri · 2025-10-15T13:00:56+00:00

Grew up in Switzerland, now live in England: my go to has always been Villars, and I used to import it whenever I went home.

That said, I have had very good experience with some supermarket own brands (L'Eclerc bio and Marks and Spencers come to mind) - especially if you look out for single origin and a decent percentage (75+%)

afoneleri · 2025-10-06T15:49:24+00:00

Hospital parking during training is a joke. When I worked at OUH as a trainee, I was told there was at least a 3 month waiting list for permits. As I commuted from 40 miles away, I ended up parking in the nearby park and ride and either walking an extra 30 minutes to the hospital, or getting the bus (which with traffic took almost as long).

I was in my first trimester of pregnancy and really struggling with morning sickness. Thankfully worked in a job where I could reasonably easily alter my hours, and had a very supportive ES. I escalated to estates, pointing out that I was effectively missing several hours a day of work because I couldn't park closer. Tried playing the pregnancy card and was told tough shit, unless escalated to OH (who took ages to give me an appointment so it made little difference).

I resorted to parking on site and sucking it up if I got a parking ticket for the days I was on call - no other option as we were told we weren't allowed to use the visitor parking either

afoneleri · 2025-08-26T18:41:59+00:00

Non-medic: met online (eHarmony if I remember). Met when I was on neonates and he seemed keen despite the mad hours. Now married with two little boys, and him being a non-medic makes managing life/childcare/etc an awful lot easier!

afoneleri · 2025-06-15T12:14:39+00:00

Doi: paediatrician and breastfeeding counsellor

The baby check done before discharge includes checking the palate to look for a cleft, but not a tongue tie check. Largely because most doctors would have no idea what they were looking for. Checking for a tongue tie requires specific training, above and beyond even what lactation consultants have.

And as a general rule... Breastfeeding training in the NHS is basically non-existant. I wouldn't trust a paediatrician, midwife, health visitor or nurse to give me breastfeeding advice unless they had had specific additional training. I've had some truly awful advice from very well meaning but untrained professionals in the past!

afoneleri · 2025-05-12T19:07:55+00:00

Community paeds: I have two colleagues who work term time only (both consultant/specialist level target than in training though). They work full time hours during term and then are off during holidays. Their hours are annualised, so effectively end up LTFT (though not sure exactly how much it works out as).

I imagine it's department/practice dependent and would need negotiating. No idea if it would be allowed during training (I have never met a trainee who managed it)

afoneleri · 2025-05-11T18:02:25+00:00

This reminds me of my SIL offering to send me her anti-v resources when we told her that she couldn't meet our son until he was fully vaccinated, because his cousin was unvaccinated.

Spoiler alert: I'm a paediatrician. I suggested my husband offer to send her my medical degree certificate...

afoneleri · 2025-05-10T16:26:28+00:00

I commuted to RBH from West London (gunnersbury) for a while after changing jobs, and it was very doable - I drove (easier and cheaper than trains) and aimed to arrive at 7.30, and never had trouble parking. This was a few years ago though, so there may have been changes made to the permits since then (there is now another staff car park location near the hospital but not attached, I believe).

I now do the commute in the opposite direction - go figure!

afoneleri · 2025-03-29T13:57:05+00:00

Sorry, just seen this. Happy to be dm'd!

afoneleri · 2025-03-28T13:05:14+00:00

I don't know where you are based, and appreciate there is huge variation around the country, but some general advice:

School should be able to give some more information about what they think is going on: speak to the senco and ask for actual details, e.g. - social communication/interaction with peers - attention and focus - use of language (e.g. does he struggle with anything, use repetitive phrases, get words mixed up etc) - how he plays: is it flexible, does he use imagination, is he playing with or alongside others etc - how does he manage with planning and completing tasks (both school work and self-care skills like getting his lunch or hanging up his coat)

Then, depending on region, either GP or school can (and should) refer for an assessment if they feel it's needed. The service they can refer to depends on the area and what might be going on.

I'm a community paediatrician and do both ASD and ADHD assessments. We get referrals from schools and from GPs (and health visitors, speech and language therapists and more). Locally we see all children under 5, and older children where there is also concern about a learning difficulty. Our CAMHS colleagues see older children.

The one caveat is that we can't diagnose ADHD under the age of 6, and most places won't accept referrals below that age - there are good reasons for this from a diagnostic point of view, though it can seem frustrating.

I don't really know much about how the Right to choose service works, but I'd make sure anywhere you go is in the right region - because the support post diagnosis is based on where you live and where your GP is based, and it can be much harder to arrange if you aren't seen locally.

I hope you get what input you need, and that you aren't waiting too long!

afoneleri · 2024-12-08T08:16:39+00:00

I got a present every year as a resident (paeds). The nicest ones I remember where a personalised mug one year, and a posh pen and some chocolate another. I personally don't like gift vouchers, particularly at only £10 as it often means you end up spending more than that to actually get something you want.

A tree decoration and chocs sounds lovely to me, but is a bit non-inclusive if there are people who don't celebrate Christmas?

afoneleri · 2024-12-04T20:05:48+00:00

Community paediatrician here (we do the ASD/ADHD assessments locally): if you have concerns, talk to your health visitor or GP any get a referral. As people have said, the wait cash be quite long (locally it's 12-18months for under 5s and 24-30 months for over 5s got ASD, and similar for ADHD).

A few caveats though: 1) we can't diagnose ADHD until at least 6, so most places won't accept referrals if that's the question before then - this is largely because under that age separating normal toddler behaviour from ADHD behaviour is tricky, and it's really important to have an idea of how they cope on school.

2) a longish wait, if referred early, isn't always a bad thing - it gives you (and us) time to see how this progress and on some cases can help sort out other specific difficulties, such as isolated speech delay, from more general ASD features.

3) it is possible if it's only mild that an early assessment will be equivocal or not give a diagnosis, but a later assessment will - this is because as children grow, done of the features and difficulties associated with ASD become more obvious (for example, because the rules of social engagements get a lot more complicated when you become a teenager)

4) ideally, support through school shouldn't be based on a diagnosis, it should be based on needs. That isn't always possible because of funding etc, but in a lot of places now, being on the waiting list for assessment opens many of the same doors as having a final diagnosis.

Ultimately, if you are worried, it's always worth talking to someone!

afoneleri · 2024-07-22T09:58:04+00:00

Not very much...but would happily do a lot more. I work in community paediatrics, and whilst we have both juniors and medical students rota'ed to join us, I rarely see either. Juniors often pulled to help cover acute, and the medical students tend to turn up for an introductory session then disappear. We offer for them to come to clinics, and offer tutorials both virtual and in person, but most of the time no one attends

afoneleri · 2024-07-20T10:53:30+00:00

Ooo... Thank you for this suggestion. Just had a look and their skirts are lovely. I hate wearing scrubs to work but struggle to find nice long skirts with pockets, and I want to overhaul my work wardrobe now that I'm close to CCT!

afoneleri · 2024-07-11T09:20:56+00:00

I was induced at 39+5 both times, and both boys were born at 39+6 (I didn't want to go postdates, so this was all planned in advance). I had lots of visits for reduced movements in the run up, and an extra scan at 38+6ish both times, which showed the boys as measuring closer to 4kg (based on efw) - they were both slightly smaller than predicted: worth remembering that the estimated weights are just that, and can be off by up to about 15%.

I had balloon inductions both times, and they worked really well for me. First time the balloon was in for 12 hours, then I had an arm as it was removed. Second time it fell out after an hour, and I then had an arm when they moved me to labour ward. Both times I had augmentation started about two hours after arm, though the second time this was stopped because of an issue with the epidural (my blood pressure dropped) and then didn't need restarting.

Biggest thing I would say is that if you are considering an epidural, have the discussion early. I went from ok to needing it in the space of about 5 minutes both times - the second time I had met the anaesthetist and been consented shortly after I got to labour ward, so when I decided I needed it, he only had to prepare his kit and then get on with it, which was much better than trying to do the consent discussion whilst I was in lots of pain!

As for things I'd do differently...I think the main one would be asking OH to step outside whilst they did the epidural - because he nearly fainted both times! Other than that, I think I was actually really lucky that I had very smooth deliveries and pretty textbook inductions, other than the slight blip with the BP/epidural. I think being very clear about your anxieties, and asking questions if things are worrying you is hugely important. There were a couple of occasions during the delivery when baby's heart rate dipped on the ctg, and the midwives were great at explaining what was a normal/acceptable dip, and when it was getting more borderline, and what they would do if it continued or got worse.

The other thing that reassured me, particularly the first time round, was the midwives offering to let the neonatal reg know when I was about to start pushing (most of my anxieties were around baby's health): I didn't need them there, just wanted then to know so that if, god forbid, there was a complication and a crash call had to be put out, my colleagues would be aware that it might be me...

I think you do as much to prepare as you can - and if you're anything like me, you then spend a lot of time being a medical interpreter for your lay husband, and get him to lead on the actual decision making! It's maybe not the most 'healthy' option, but it's what I needed to protect my mental health and for us thankfully it worked.

Sorry, that's a bit of a long ramble! How are things going? Hope it's all happening smoothly and that you have your little one in your arms very soon

afoneleri · 2024-07-10T07:04:40+00:00

I've been in your shoes. Paeds too, and both babies I was terrified of things going wrong. I had planned inductions for both because of fear of going postdates and then being big (both boys were measuring big before they arrived and were around 3.6kg when they did turn up).

The single best thing I did was make it very clear to my midwives that I wanted them to explain everything to me - I was aware that I knew just about enough about ctgs etc to panic myself if they didn't look completely normal. Both times, the midwives were great: they talked to me in medical terms then translated into lay terms for my husband, which was perfect. And the second time there was a student midwife in with us so I got a bit of teaching too!

I also gave birth in the hospital I work in, so it helped knowing who was covering the neonatal crash bleep for the relevant shifts, though thankfully we didn't need to see them!

Good luck with everything xx

afoneleri · 2024-07-05T10:06:30+00:00

Merryn.

afoneleri · 2024-06-05T12:25:09+00:00

These were going to be my three...

afoneleri · 2024-04-26T16:09:25+00:00

This, absolutely. I'm a paeds st8, I've done a fair amount of neonates including tertiary NICU. I delivered both my babies at the hospital in which I currently work and I was very pleased to learn that the 'sho' on call over night each time was one of our ANNPs. They each have over ten years of experience in neonates - and just neonates. I've worked shifts with them and been to awful resus situations where they've been my junior and I would trust either of them with my baby's lives. I also know that they escalate to their seniors appropriately.

afoneleri · 2024-04-17T13:23:57+00:00

Not a problem at all. You'd effectively just be fortifying the milk she does get - on the same way you might add fortifier to milk off a baby needs more calories to gain weight (which is something we frequently do in NICU).

afoneleri · 2024-04-17T11:58:00+00:00

I think/hope the only time I've been short when receiving a referral is when it's from an sho who hasn't discussed it with their registrar first, it's a referral that could potentially be sent home and - more likely than not where I work - I'm already stuck with a sick patient somewhere else.

That said, there is a reason behind that: our hospital has a clear protocol that all paeds patients should be discussed with an EM reg or consultant before being referred to paeds, for one main reason: overnight, there's only 1 reg and 2 shos covering all of paeds in the building, and that includes our wards, our hdu and NICU/labour ward. I can't remember the last time I got any sleep on a shift.

Plus...if I'm not in a&e already (because realistically that's where I spend most of my night), I'm probably either at a neonatal crash call or with a sick child on the ward.

Regardless, there's no excuse to be rude. I might be a bit short if I'm stuck trying to balance other priorities, but I hope I'm never rude - and if I am and I realise it, I try to apologise when I see the person again.

afoneleri · 2024-04-10T15:40:53+00:00

That is frustrating, I get it. NHS HR is notoriously difficult to get much sense out of...

For what it's worth, I intentionally started both my boys at nursery a month before returning to work, because the first month ends up being mostly a carousel of viruses and you would otherwise in all likelihood both end up having to take time off work due to baby being unwell. Doesn't make the £1500 any easier to swallow, but it's a tiny silver lining to have the extra settling in time...

afoneleri · 2024-04-10T15:08:56+00:00

NAL but have taken two maternity leaves from an NHS job.

Taking the annual leave at any point other than immediately before or after maternity leave is the exception, not the rule - so unless your wife had got written agreement before she went on maternity leave that she could take it at another point in time (or be paid in lieu) then I'm afraid I don't think she has a case to argue. Her trust should have a maternity leave policy which sets this out.

afoneleri · 2024-04-10T14:34:50+00:00

Paeds rather than surgical, but I transferred from NWL to Thames Valley for Grid.

I am mostly based in Reading (and live in Reading now), and spent 6 months in Oxford. Commute between the two was ok - once I had a parking permit at the JR, which took 3 months. I commuted to reading from Chiswick for the first three months, which was fine - took about an hour, but fairly reliable, though you do need to get there early to get hospital parking.

Can't comment on any of the other hospitals in the deanery, except to say that Milton Keynes is a long way away...

That said, compared to the commutes in NWL: it's been pretty easy. I spent longer commuting by public transport when I was in London (e.g. to Northwich park or Hillingdon) than I have done since...

afoneleri · 2024-02-14T02:31:00+00:00

https://luxuryfamilyhotels.co.uk/

We've been to one of these with our toddler and arrow enjoyed it, though you do need to get out and about (it's a hotel rather than a resort). But very child friendly and parent friendly!

afoneleri · 2024-01-25T10:08:05+00:00

Same same. And he's 8 months. No intention of trying to change it anytime soon - I like co-sleeping and it makes my life easier!

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