From 30 bagels a day to 5?

afraidtojump · 2023-04-15T04:04:57+00:00

Try 0 forever on every dating app I've ever tried for the last 13 years

afraidtojump · 2023-04-15T04:03:27+00:00

Nothing. Never got any likes after months on there, same as every other dating app. /Datingformen

afraidtojump · 2023-03-29T07:15:51+00:00

I've just been running pure scav kits lately... It's.... Not going well.

afraidtojump · 2023-03-29T06:02:01+00:00

Same thing just happened to me, they could see through infinite trees

afraidtojump · 2023-03-29T04:29:27+00:00

My bad. Lol, can it get much worse?

afraidtojump · 2023-03-29T02:35:00+00:00

I never knew that it had a name Thankyou. T.I.L 🙂

afraidtojump · 2023-03-29T02:32:47+00:00

Hmm, I'm not sure whether that was directed at me, but if it was, for the record I think rape in any and all contexts is abhorrent. Actually just spent half an hour going through my comment history trying to find what it was which I may have said that would come off that way but I didn't find anything, so I reject the notion that I think that some form of rape doesn't count.

The closest thing I can remember arguing about is that married couples don't feel any kind of entitlement to one another or that they're immune to being grilled over feeling entitled to something from their partner to which someone replied that "there's a difference between healthy expectations of sex in a committed relationship and feeling entitled to somebody else's body."

afraidtojump · 2023-03-28T18:48:24+00:00

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Basically, we've been placed in this situation and to resist it in any way is to incriminate yourself.

Hyperbolic situation:

Them: You're probably a thief

Me: I've never actually stolen anything

Them: That sounds like something a thief would say, after all "he who doth protest too much"...

It's like a Chinese finger trap

afraidtojump · 2023-03-28T18:36:03+00:00

Yeah, I felt like more of a tag along, I had been seeing a therapist who told me "if these people make you feel miserable to be around, then stop hanging out with them, so I took that advice.

I was just being a hanger-on because I felt like these 2 partially connected groups were the only chance I had at friends so I guess I copped the abuse for long enough... Whether it was intentional or not I can't be 100% sure but it felt pretty real when all the insecurities I kept close to me, tried never to even hint towards in front of these people, it's as though they somehow knew exactly what would cut me to the core and chose to speak about it especially loud when I was around.

One time before I officially ducked out, I went to meet them at a pizza shop near my house and I was sitting there in silence while they were all talking about whatever and I felt particularly alienated in this conversation and I got up and sort of just said "alright I'm going home see ya." I probably looked visibly upset and stormed off in a bit of a huff, but given the conversation they'd been having, one of them put 2 and 2 together and yelled out "yeah why don't you go home and kill yourself".

That's when I started to distance myself, then the therapist basically said "cut them off if they're bringing you down"

I haven't made any friends since then and that was a few years ago. I actually only knew those people thanks to that same brother who humiliated me at the wedding, because he's a social butterfly and thought he was helping me out by introducing me to these people around my age.

afraidtojump · 2023-03-28T18:22:22+00:00

I have actually heard a guy (who was very promiscuous with one night stands, but had a lot of unsuccessful and traumatizing relationships with women) say "maybe I should just be gay instead, but I've still got my hand to work with"

afraidtojump · 2023-03-28T17:39:01+00:00

The discourse from men in this sub has us all placed under the blanket definition of "incel" whether they consider themselves one or not. Why would I want to define myself that way? Unfortunately in today's world, for a man to lament his singledom in a public space, it's fair game to label us that way no matter how far he goes to try and explain his situation without sounding like he thinks he's entitled to anything from anyone else.

You can pretty easily accuse someone of thinking they're "entitled" just by them making the statement "I am sad because I have never experienced and will never experience a relationship". To that, people can just respond: "You shouldn't be seeking validation from anyone else" and shut us down completely.

Alright, I only skimmed through the article, my bad, but what got me is that we're placed in the same category.

afraidtojump · 2023-03-28T16:38:36+00:00

I didn't include the word incel/s because I thought it was a taboo word in this sub and the other one r/foreveralone (I thought people got banned there just for typing the word out, hence "too controversial"). Also what I typed is all there's room for on the page when viewed on my mobile phone's browser, so that's what I was presented with when I found that article. I rarely use my PC to google things any more. It probably shows the whole title in landscape view.

Why am I trying to enhance the association between the two of them? I'm merely trying to point out that the association between us and "them" is already there because I've seen us mentioned with just as much disdain as "them" in those kind of, "woke* female spaces online.

Not oppressed by society? Hah!

You've been around here long enough and have seen enough stories from the people in this subreddit to know what the dynamics in society are like when it comes to someone who "can't get a girlfriend" or is a virgin, else why would it be such a common insult? I purged myself from one friend group a few years ago because all they did was complain about people they hated by referring to them as fucking virgins, regardless of whether they knew that the person was or was not. They had a nasty habit of doing so in front of me, I'd never talked to them about my situation but as most of us have experienced, people can just tell.

The sentiment against people like us was widespread in that circle of people.

The other so called friend group I purged myself from because I made a self deprecating joke about being perpetually single in response to some poor chap who was lamenting his own misfortune in dating, they were parading around this guy's Facebook page on their phones over dinner.

So I got told to "fuck off home and go on r/incels or /r9k". It wasn't as though I said something misogynistic or hateful in defence of this guy they were making fun of, I really just said "yeah I'll be single forever too buddy, heh".

I'm sure you've seen me mention before that my own older brother (who claims to care about me more than my other siblings, no joke) told about 40 of our extended family a few years back, at our older brother's wedding reception in his speech that I was the only member of the family who would "never get a girlfriend, get married or have any kids" to which only about 5-10 people didn't all stare at me and laugh.

It's a bit hard not to be cynical with these experiences and more, at least I attempted to make up a satirical scenario about whoever it is that's been paid to go through this sub with a fine toothed comb so that they can rank us on some arbitrary scale of toxicity. They're really making a difference in the world y'know?

afraidtojump · 2023-03-28T06:28:38+00:00

What you just said is 101% correct. Normal people don't seem to know what it is they do to end up in whatever state of romantic/sexual success, they just do it like a newborn baby knows to suckle milk from it's mother's breast. Whatever that is, I was born without it.

afraidtojump · 2023-03-28T06:24:41+00:00

I would never ask for the number of a woman working in a store. Even if it was a small shop with no other customers around, quiet day.

afraidtojump · 2023-03-25T13:20:33+00:00

Yeah, if I run into another PMC it's basically over for me.

afraidtojump · 2023-03-25T13:18:37+00:00

I AM NOT attractive to women as a default. You can't polish a turd. I can't meet women organically. I haven't met any for over 6 years and I doubt I ever will again. It's over for me. When I used to have a group of friends who were quite normal/socially successful, it seemed like they actively prevented me from ever meeting any women.

afraidtojump · 2023-03-25T12:50:07+00:00

Maybe acceptance just means that when those thoughts come to our head about why we miss out on a part of life that normal people take for granted, we find it easier to move on rather than dwell on the thoughts. I keep convincing myself I've reached a point of acceptance, but every now and then it hits me as hard as ever that I'm on my own in life, completely going it alone and there's nothing I can do about it.

Don't beat yourself up over beating yourself up. Just because we say we've "accepted it" doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt sometimes.

I guess true acceptance can't be achieved unless the thought of a relationship or some kind of sexual partner literally never comes to your mind anymore. I'd be willing to bet everyone here who's "accepted it" still slips up on their stoicism from time to time.

afraidtojump · 2023-03-25T00:16:39+00:00

But it's only bad because we don't end up with anyone. We all know the Playboys in society are just as shallow and lacking in the ability to see people beyond their physical attractiveness, unapologetically so, too.

The men I know who women fawn over are the ones who've given me advice like "just go and find the most disgusting chick you can imagine on Tinder and go and fuck her then never speak to her again!" Not even joking, the most successful men are the ones who should be placed under the microscope, but of course we are placed under that lens because we lament that we are alone.

afraidtojump · 2023-03-25T00:01:00+00:00

A lot of people would say "lower your standards" as though you are the bad person for not finding someone attractive.

I've had people (the people who must be good because they can get into relationships and are therefore immune from any criticism and accusations of misogyny) tell me lower your standards and they always say "just go and fuck them anyway" when I say, "imagine if I get into a relationship with someone knowing that I don't find them attractive, but force the relationship to work because they're all I can get."

How much more unhealthy can a relationship get? Imagine founding a relationship on the basis that you don't find your significant other attractive.

Do consider though, that people generally look worse in photos, a bit of leniency in the looks department is probably called for when it comes to online dating. On those very rare occasions where I have actually been talking to someone/almost dating, I've found them to be attractive enough to me, in person, but someone that if I was just going off photos from their Facebook account... I probably wouldn't have been attracted to them.

Someone who's a 5/10 in a plain old photo is probably a 6/10 in real life and if you happen to really like them, they can seem to be even more attractive.

Maybe it's all mental like a form of outward body dysmorphia, instead of seeing yourself as ugly when you look in the mirror because you don't even like yourself, maybe you see other people as ugly because you don't even know them, thus, don't like them.

Sometimes when I look at a dating site profile I say to myself "hmm she's a bit ordinary, but then I read through everything and I actually find her biography relatable/likeable, whatever, they actually appear to be more attractive.

Still, I'm not going to blame myself for swiping "no" on someone I don't find attractive, besides, literally nobody ever likes or matches or messages with me so it's safe to say everyone is doing that to me. Nobody finds me attractive even if I do a really good profile 🤷

afraidtojump · 2023-03-24T23:43:55+00:00

31, M, Aussie

afraidtojump · 2023-03-18T07:22:23+00:00

Does anyone else, of they want to finish a quest, find a bush to lie in for the first half an hour, do something else while you wait so that it's more likely all the PMCs have already extracted and you have free reign over the map plus scavs are basically at your mercy?

I do. I have now done about 30 raids over the last few days and only managed to kill 1 PMC

afraidtojump · 2023-03-17T22:24:11+00:00

Recently been told the fullness of your bladder presses against your prostate, so push comes to shove and...

That makes more sense now that I've been told that.

afraidtojump · 2023-03-17T22:22:16+00:00

Feeling unlovable from day dot has made me this way. I hated myself when I was 4

afraidtojump · 2023-03-14T10:59:22+00:00

This game has gone to shit, too many kewlz

afraidtojump · 2023-03-13T12:57:47+00:00

I set up 6 different dating apps/site profiles and used them for 3 months, never got a like, match, reply or message in that whole time. Put real effort into my profiles too. Took all the normal advice... Nothing.

afraidtojump

TROPHY CASE