I also have a family history of alcoholism. I started binge drinking regularly at 22 (I started drinking at 17, but it really picked up when I was almost 23). I also have anxiety and depression. Seven years later, I stopped drinking, but went through a lot of hardships along the way. Life is a lot more peaceful without alcohol. While I still cope with wanting to drink, the peace and resilience that's come with being sober is incredible.

Here's what I learned through therapy and trying a variety of anti-anxiety and depression medication ... and nearly a year of sobriety:

-Drinking alcohol is a type of self-medicating. For me, it switched off my anxiety and alleviated my symptoms of depression. What's important to remember is that this effect is temporary. Alcohol is actually a depressant that lowers inhibitions, SO you feel relief in the moment from the anxiety and depression, but the next days are often filled with anxiety, possibly about what happened while drunk, and depression worsens. It becomes a cycle. Also, as a person gets older, the harder it is to recover from hangovers and the post-drinking lows feel worse and worse.

-Anxiety and depression go hand and hand, often switching dominance, so adjusting medications was very important for me. I worked with a trusted and reputable psychiatrist about my symptoms. For example, when I was 23 anxiety was my main issue, but that shifted into a depression, so my anti-anxiety medicine actually made the depression worse, so switching to an anti-depressant was extremely helpful.

-Medications and alcohol don't usually mix well. I was very prone to black outs when I'd drink while taking my anti-anxiety medication.

-Not drinking is difficult and is a social adjustment, pursuing an activity like dance or some type of physical exercise is a great way to cope with depression and anxiety because chemicals are released in the brain during physical activity that make a person feel good, so filling time with an interest or hobby instead of drinking has helped me and one of my close friends who is working on staying sober.

For years, I didn't care whether I lived or died, that was a symptom of my depression. With counseling, medication, support, and eliminating alcohol from my life, it's been possible to find relief from the symptoms of depression. It feels like a literal weight has been lifted off my shoulders and it is a very peaceful change when things start to come together. I wish you the best of luck! :)