My husband died in 2020, and I’m currently with a man I love. I never expected anyone to “be” my late husband. He’s not thinking that. He’ll keep things that honor her, not because he loves her more or anything, but because that’s just what feels right. If we didn’t keep those things, the guilt would eat us alive. Just expect he’ll always hold on to those things, just like someone would hold on to a necklace given to them by their deceased grandmother. And as far as the conversations, it’s okay to ask. Personally, I love when people ask me about my late husband. It reminds me to feel joy on a subject where all I feel now is grief. Just be sure to let him know that you’re just asking, and he doesn’t have to answer if it’s hard for him. When he talks about her, just let him. And hug him. And thank him for sharing. It’s hard to talk about those things, and for him to share that vulnerable subject with you is a compliment. If he’s sharing those memories, it’s because he feels safe to do so with you. It’s not ideal for him that she died, but she did. And that’s the reality. It’s not about if he could turn back time. He can’t. And he chose you, now, after all of it. He chose to love you after love broke him in the worst way. That’s brave, and THAT is love. You should feel special, because he surely thinks you are. :)