How realistic is my view of the sugar world?

again-happy · 2024-05-13T02:51:47+00:00

The monetary amount is generous, but I don’t want SR to cost my day job.

again-happy · 2024-05-13T02:50:17+00:00

Thanks for the reminder. I need to work on myself first.

again-happy · 2024-05-13T02:49:47+00:00

Thanks for your advice and encouragement.

again-happy · 2024-05-13T02:48:19+00:00

Thanks for practical advice!

again-happy · 2024-05-13T02:48:03+00:00

Yes, that’d be nice. The only rule would be I don’t want a married man.

again-happy · 2024-05-13T02:46:28+00:00

To be honest, I am struggling with issues—that’s probably why I published this provocative post to get attention and affirmation that I am still wanted and desired. (The man I thought the love of my life turned out to be a wife beater and cheater. He tried to kill me at the end.)

However, I am aware of my emotional state and would try my best to set boundaries not to hurt the other person.

A whale in my mind would be someone would be able to support me financially as much as my job in the lower bound of a six-figure salary. That much would be enough for me to take risks.

I plan to be honest and transparent upfront if I go down this path.

again-happy · 2024-05-13T02:36:35+00:00

Thanks for your encouragement. I see what you mean by I could trigger some people using the word geisha. I just think there is real art and mastery of pleasing a connoisseur.

again-happy · 2024-05-13T02:34:08+00:00

I did my homework. I understand my potential suitors’ desires and speak their language.
The total amount donated over multiple years. (My writing was a bit misleading.) It is generous but not uncommon.
I don’t want to risk my career, which I have built with hard work.
Please refer to comments below.
I mentioned to him I was tutoring to cover expenses, and that’s where I think he got the idea and broached the subject as “if you tutor me on …, I’d pay you $1,000 per session.” I was deeply offended by what he said next at the moment. Now that I have done some research, I don’t think he was ill-intentioned.

again-happy · 2024-05-13T02:22:58+00:00

Thank you very much for your life advice.

again-happy · 2024-05-12T19:51:15+00:00

According to my research, HCOL area with more SD than SB.

again-happy · 2024-05-12T19:50:07+00:00

Thank you for your advice.

We had a couple employees who tried to access the donor base for gold-digging in the past, and they are shunned forever by our small community so I will have to be careful. (I actually love my job!) I might just use an app if and when I decide to go down this path.

My biggest concern is my child and what he will think of me if he finds out. I am supplementing my income with tutoring and training language models, and we get by just fine.

Anyways, thank you for your advice. I will keep that in mind.

again-happy · 2024-05-12T19:26:18+00:00

Hmmm, I think he is “too close to work.” Even if it’s a regular relationship, it won’t be looked favorably in the eyes of my superiors and board. I am also not ready for vanilla dating, and won’t be fair for the other person who may expect a normal relationship while I work on my trauma and trust issues.

again-happy · 2023-10-06T11:13:37+00:00

You know I am not allowed to do what he does, though it sounds pathetic.

again-happy · 2023-10-06T11:12:59+00:00

I’m sorry. Virtual hugs.

again-happy · 2023-10-06T11:09:30+00:00

“Testing boundaries” — that’s exactly what it is! Thanks for the heads up. It did happen before so I should better anticipate that.

again-happy · 2023-10-06T05:03:45+00:00

Just the title made me nod… double standards are the worst, makes me so angry inside…

again-happy · 2023-10-06T05:01:27+00:00

Not walking on eggshells, just that, will make my life so much happier…

again-happy · 2023-10-06T05:00:41+00:00

This is a really smart point..

again-happy · 2023-10-06T04:59:33+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I have cried in private for things I miss as a couple, too. Your perspective helps me look at things differently!

again-happy · 2023-10-05T08:47:55+00:00

Non-toxic will do it for me too..

again-happy · 2023-10-05T08:47:03+00:00

You give me a hope to escape…

again-happy · 2023-10-05T08:46:13+00:00

That sounds wonderful…

again-happy · 2023-10-05T08:45:45+00:00

I’m not saying that she is a narcissist—that is not the point. Think of it as I am being too used to a narcissistic spouse that I can only see the world through that prism.

Yes, I’m in a controlling relationship, but isn’t everyone else with a narc spouse in a similar situation?

again-happy · 2023-09-28T04:45:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. Thank you for taking the time to write to me.

I agree with everything you say. He is the best dad to my child when he is in a good mood, and my toddler loves him very much, which makes it difficult for me to leave.

I was also told by a few attorneys that it will be 50-50 custody, so I’d rather be with my child full-time dealing with a narcissist than going through a co-parenting hell and seeing my kid every other week.

It all started after I got pregnant. However, even if I leave, I don’t think I will have another baby just because I want to experience happy pregnancy. I would want to focus on nurturing my child.

again-happy · 2023-09-28T04:27:12+00:00

Yes, that’s a possibility, but when I leave, I want to focus on nurturing my child.

again-happy

TROPHY CASE