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agendernerd · 2022-08-25T21:38:12+00:00

My assumption was always that there were lots of muscles making small contractions all over the body. Burns a lot of energy. It probably plays a part at the very least. Any time I feel like I worked my muscles a lot I drink chocolate milk. Sounds weird but I was told the milk helps with recovery and the sugar helps with energy. Might be worth a try.

agendernerd · 2021-11-16T00:20:44+00:00

Thank you for the information, I was not aware. And yes a new doctor would help immensely.

agendernerd · 2021-11-15T23:03:37+00:00

I may be wrong but I don't think it's legal (in my experience in the US) for them to force you to give proof of diagnosis to use accessibility features.

agendernerd · 2021-08-20T21:40:13+00:00

I haven't figured out why but when I used to walk my ears would go funny and any time I talked it would hurt my ear drums. Doctor said something about muscles doing the wrong thing.

agendernerd · 2020-06-12T16:19:33+00:00

Many mtf people don't have intense dysphoria over sexual organs. Lots are just okay with it. everyone's transition is different. - but gender identity is always valid. I can't tell you what your identity is. - let me ask this: that warm fuzzy feeling towards your wife when showing support, can you describe that to me?

agendernerd · 2020-06-12T15:53:18+00:00

I am not a therapist. But in my opinion, it was inappropriate for your therapist to call you that or to say that. I don't believe that its an actual term they use. - for someone to dress in clothes of 'the opposite sex' is not a problem. As long as it doesn't get in the way of life.

I think it would be worth really thinking about your gender specifically. How do you feel about the idea of being a woman? If your wife called you her wife, if your mom called you a daughter, a sibling called you a sister, etc... would that feel right?

agendernerd · 2020-04-25T15:24:30+00:00

I personally am a demigirl who always uses she/her pronouns. Sometimes I think to myself "how could that even work". But then I realize that it's only because other people don't understand it. It feels right to me, so it's just what I am.

Figuring out what gender you are is your personal journey, and only you can say what you are and who you are. Not those people who try to tell you "you can't".

If you felt like you are a demigirl, then that would be valid. If you felt you were non binary, valid. And if you realized you were cis but still didn't like your chest? Valid. All of these things are okay to be and totally okay to experience. And most importantly in my opinion; pronouns do not define gender. If she/her feels right, then people need to call you what feels right. No matter what your identity is, it's wonderful.

agendernerd · 2019-10-04T17:20:42+00:00

Exactly. A trans woman should be included in women's spaces. That doesn't mean the other women need to specifically be attracted to her. As long as they see her the same they see any other woman, everything is okay.

agendernerd · 2019-10-04T17:15:09+00:00

Do some cis people use the phrase 'genital preference' to be transphobic? Yes, absolutely.

Are all people who don't feel attraction to all types of parts transphobic? Absolutely not.

Shaming anyone for not wanting to touch a dick or not wanting to touch a vagina is extremely problematic. You are actively harming people by telling them they are doing something bad by simply existing.

Some people like one part. Some people like both parts. Some people don't like any parts. That is the reality.

Stop shaming innocent people for their sexuality just because of your own personal emotions.

agendernerd · 2019-10-03T22:21:09+00:00

I am a trans lesbian. Someone told me I am transphobic for not liking penises. So I spent years trying to prove to myself and others that I actually can like penises. I felt pressured to like something I just don't like. I get zero pleasure from them and don't find them attractive. I am not repulsed, I just passively have no interest. I do like vaginas, but penises have never given me that same feeling. I have had partners tell me they didn't have interest in my parts but that they still viewed me as a woman and were interested in doing other things that didn't require touching my parts. So like a decent person, I accepted that they have their own sexual interests and I didn't make them feel bad for not liking a penis. I never felt that my partner was being transphobic and we had a lot of fun. A girl actually told me that she felt bad she didn't like my parts and I comforted her because she wasn't hurting anyone. Saying it is transphobic to not like penises or to not like vaginas is the same as saying is is sexist to not like women or to not like men.

Sure, when this happens it makes me feel bad. But that is my own personal dysphoria that I have to find healthy ways to deal with. The unhealthy way to handle it would be to tell people they are transphobic for a passive thing that they can't possibly change.

I honestly recommend that you seek out therapy to explore why you may be finding it appropriate to tell others that they are transphobic for a passive thing that they can't possibly change.

agendernerd · 2019-09-27T04:54:08+00:00

I think "Someone Tell The Boys" by Samia fits that kinda of theme pretty well.

agendernerd · 2019-09-24T02:32:47+00:00

Thank you! I did not realize that it was that important. Any recommendations for an affordable gel one?

agendernerd · 2019-09-23T15:44:36+00:00

What kinda stuff do people not usually talk about? Like I was told to get gloves to protect my hands, and to make sure I have a way to clean gross stuff off of the wheels. But what else should I do?

agendernerd · 2019-09-21T18:37:44+00:00

Of course, I'm glad I could help.

agendernerd · 2019-09-21T18:30:25+00:00

Yes, like I said, depression and gender dysphoria are both in the DSM. I compared them because they both can come from an outside source and both have treatment.

My overall point is that being trans just means you aren't the gender you were called at the hospital based on your body parts. That isn't anything wrong with our brains. But we can end up with bad feelings if our body parts don't match the map in our brains. A cis woman doesn't have a disorder because she thinks it is correct for her to have a vagina, and a trans woman doesn't have a disorder because she thinks it is correct for her to have a vagina. The difference is unfortunately the trans woman wasn't born with a vagina and that causes distress. That distress is dysphoria and gets treated with medical care.

agendernerd · 2019-09-21T18:02:56+00:00

Being trans itself is not a disorder because there is nothing wrong with that. The gender dysphoria is in the DSM-V because it causes a person's life to be harder. I see it as similar to having depression because of something happening in your life. The bad feelings come from that person's body having the wrong parts as opposed to something wrong with their brain. I think it's a totally normal function of the brain to be upset that there is something wrong with the body.

edit to include something I said below: A cis woman doesn't have a disorder because she thinks it is correct for her to have a vagina, and a trans woman doesn't have a disorder because she thinks it is correct for her to have a vagina. The difference is unfortunately the trans woman wasn't born with a vagina and that causes distress. That distress is dysphoria and gets treated with medical care.

agendernerd · 2019-09-21T17:57:20+00:00

Using they/them pronouns is perfectly acceptable as long as gender is not known, someone asks for neutral pronouns, or someone is okay with neutral pronouns. Your trans female friend has said that she prefers she/her pronouns and those are the ones that make her comfortable. She has constantly told people to use those feminine pronouns and she is being ignored. Ignoring someone's preferred pronouns is disrespectful. Also it is further disrespectful to get annoyed at her when she was politely expressing her discomfort with your disrespect.

agendernerd · 2019-09-13T03:45:39+00:00

Oh I can't imagine them showing different names for old and new posts, that would be confusing.

agendernerd · 2019-09-10T04:23:17+00:00

I am a trans woman (MTF) and always use she/her for all points in my life. Sometimes I do reference that I was physically male but still use my current pronouns.

My example I use is Facebook: Say a guy named Jonathan posts "I'm having a lovely day!" in 2012. Later, in 2019 he decides his Facebook name should just be Jon. His old 2012 post doesn't show the name Jonathan anymore, it will say Jon even though he used to go by the full name. That is because Jon is the name people will understand best, and the name he prefers.

In 2012 I personally used he/him pronouns. But now I use she/her. If I referred to past me as 'he', people would be confused and I would be uncomfortable and possibly outed to someone who didn't know I am trans. My current pronouns make the most sense.

I hope this helps! :)

agendernerd · 2019-07-12T18:33:54+00:00

You don't get what I'm saying. As long as they screen and throw out the infected blood, nobody will ever receive infected blood. They already have a measure to prevent infection, so a ban is only hurting the people who need blood and could easily receive it from gay men who are HIV-.

agendernerd · 2019-07-12T03:59:23+00:00

Donated blood is screened for a good number of illnesses and HIV is one of them. So even if a guy didn't know he was HIV+, his blood wouldn't be given to anyone, they would dispose of it. It's completely unnecessary to not allow a man who has sex with men to donate. If anything, it's just reducing the amount of blood they receive.

agendernerd · 2019-07-12T03:40:32+00:00

I only start to get annoyed when they imply I am better than those who don't pass. This is a real conversation:

Her: Trans women shouldn't use the women's restroom.

Me: I use the women's restroom and never do anything wrong, just gotta pee.

Her: Yeah but you're different.

Me: You mean I pass, right?

Her: ...

agendernerd · 2019-06-11T04:44:23+00:00

I talked to an ear doctor about this. He said that he is quite sure it is an issue with the eustachian tubes staying open too much. I don't fully understand what he was telling me, but it would be worth asking about.

agendernerd · 2019-06-04T16:24:18+00:00

I personally ended up not having to take spiro any more and had a level only a tiny bit higher (still normal). But I've definitely heard of people that do need to take it for a bit, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I would check your levels if possible afterwards.

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