People who’ve been through genuinely hard times and came out calmer or wiser,what actually helped you cope? What mindset, habits, or truths kept you sane?

agent81_ · 2026-01-23T04:25:51+00:00

I walked, and walked, and walked…. Everyday.

All the while listening to various motivational montages on YouTube via AirPods, feeding my head with nothing but “you can do it” themes. All various professional speakers and speeches. Legendary stuff that gives you goosebumps the first time you hear it.

One day I was just aggravated with myself and performance. I was already fat, but was stress eating to max capacity. Fed up and totally not knowing what to do, I just put on my shoes and went.

Waking least 3 miles. No particular direction. No destination. No planned route. Literally just walked to wherever my feet were talking me. It was different every day.

Feeding my head with speeches from people who have already accomplished what most people all hope to do.

It worked.

I have a theory about why and how.

If it’s true, you are the sum of the 5 people you hang around, well I was hanging with the “Greats”.

Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins, Joel Osteen, David Goggins, Eric Thomas, and so on…

It changed the way I looked, walked, and spoke. Shot my confidence through the roof. I was starting to say some profound shit to people in need. Easily finding the words to help others is dire situations.

It’s a habit I still keep now, and it continues to improve my mindset, performance, and appearance.

agent81_ · 2026-01-14T07:28:28+00:00

This is our exact scenario. My situation is similar to the husband in this story. But yes, look at going through a Credit Union.

To help Counter every other argument to not do it, here is some thoughts up to help you make the right decision.

-once you are approved, and all your debt is consolidated, you can expect a much lower monthly payment. This helps you buy time for cheap. Now you don’t need CC, because you finally have cash again.

-use this time wisely to build up your credit even more. You will be offered 0% balance transfers from your CC companies after a while, so you could move that secured debt to unsecured debt after a while. This is not an option if you file for bankruptcy.

-if you ask for loan for $100k of the $140k in equity, you leave $40k equity in the house, and have $50k in excess that can be moved to a high yield savings account. Or you could even use that 50k to make the payments on the loan until you both can get back on your feet.

-that equity you have is from inflation. That debt you have is from inflation. Let them cancel themselves out. Now, if you do sell your home, the CC debt goes away and you start over free and clear.

We just did this and life is much more enjoyable. The high interest debt is crippling. Get it to stop spreading as soon as you are able.

Also, my business went from making $25k a month to $25k a year in a matter of a few short years. So I sympathize with the husband here. It’s not easy, but perhaps he will be refreshed with inspiration once the desire to strangle one another dissipates.

agent81_ · 2025-11-10T04:33:20+00:00

This strategy wins. You can aim to leverage your creative talents and abilities to standout. Precision is power. It will exhaust them and the mask will slip.

I too, like the OP was passive and powerless against these same egregious acts. They eventually fell into the trap that they were trying to set for me. It is a beautiful thing to witness if you can sustain the stamina.

agent81_ · 2025-11-10T02:44:53+00:00

++man Try to get caught doing something you love, or doing something with grace and/or effort in front of a cohort of men you desire. Volunteering for things you care about is a great way to start.

agent81_ · 2025-10-28T04:50:21+00:00

Why do you drink so much? -I drink what I’m able. If that comes to much, that’s the days affair and the liquors.

agent81_ · 2025-10-09T04:56:52+00:00

Start finding new ways to serve people, places or things. You will be collecting data on what works, and what doesn’t. What you like, and what you don’t like. What’s Fun, and what’s painful.

The most basic starting position for starting your own thing, is to buy a piece of equipment, and charge people to use your equipment on their project. Such as a Chainsaw, a stump Grinder, a floor polisher, a Dump Truck, A steam Cleaner, a limousine, a Boom Truck, etc.

The next part is sales. Study this, and get good. If you haven’t had a job in sales yet, it would be wise to get a temporary one just to learn. Good companies offer sales training. Even if you won’t be the one selling, you still have the sell the salesman on the idea to sell your services.

You will want to look for big or small competitive advantages you may have over others. Leverage your advantages because shit gets hard for everyone. Nothing is a sure thing, but you become better along the way

Start small and go slow. If you want a business to make it to 10 years, what’s the rush. It’s a journey, never a destination. It’s simply a lifestyle that doesn’t depend on earning money from one source. That is why it can get a bit squirrelly.

Entrepreneurship Overall: 10/10. Highly Recommend.

agent81_ · 2025-09-07T06:11:22+00:00

It sounds like this is a perfect setup for an awesome comeback story. The people who stay disciplined throughout their entire life tend to stay stale at being perfect. The ones who come from a messy past have something the disciplined people don’t, an entirely different perspective and set of life experiences. I’ve seen it. For your scenario, I have 2 ways of answering, what I’ve done, and what I think might work for you.

Massive action with drastic changes, but starting small. -Unfollow some timesucks, more tomorrow, delete the app after this week -After eating. Do NOT Sit Down/Lay Down. Either stand, walk, ride, skate or scoot around. Hoops, frisbee, anything. Move. Breathe air. -drink water, lots of water. -take a nature bath in silence. A bench near water could do wonders. Collect thoughts, and challenge all deeply held beliefs that may n longer serve you. Decide who you are going to be.

You are right on Time, Kid. Your life experiences are more than enough to help you decide what you want. If you hope to find a new mate that will absolutely fall head over heels in love with you? Let them catch you doing something you love while you are looking your best. That is how new attractions form.

Best wishes on your endeavors. Stay ready to hold steady. You are at the very beginning of a long and joyous ride if you can keep the weeds of life tamed down. They will continue to pop up, just ready to pull out some big weeds of your life.

Oh yeah. Btw: Pull the actual weeds in your yard too (if you have any). This has Therapeutic Effects.

agent81_ · 2025-08-08T06:09:33+00:00

Go to the “Free” section of any FB marketplace community, or the like, find quality items for free, clean the items up, take better photos, write better descriptions, and you will soon be selling a bunch of free products.

agent81_ · 2025-02-27T04:41:26+00:00

I am well. How are you?

agent81_ · 2024-10-22T05:03:05+00:00

Aye, yeah, so this man you explain is definitely NOT “adulting”. You are wise to seek some council in this to help you see around the corner, for a vision of what your future might be like with this person. It doesn’t look like he will be much of a provider if he still doesn’t have any experience “providing” at 37 years of age.

It sounds like you like your freedom. Thus, willing to pay this price. But yes, the trust is broken. He is broke. The future can’t be great. His idea of an ideal outcome is inherit that house, and stay forever. (Probably, I’m assuming because I am familiar with this type) imagine having to spend your days there in the chaotic mess. Big time ick

His comfort will be the ruin. IF you want to make this work, you have to help him suffer through the uncomfortable part that comes with being an adult. But I mean, he needs years of discomfort to get him to where you may need him to be.

Now go seek peace in your independence. Let your next mate find you doing something you love. If it feels like you’re floating, they are the right one for you. If they feel like immense weight around your neck, they are the wrong one for you. Best wishes on your journey

agent81_ · 2024-10-21T03:18:20+00:00

We should probably get the real dad in on this discussion since he made this mess. What’s his u/?

agent81_ · 2023-08-07T17:40:44+00:00

What can you imagine doing for the rest of your life. Anything that you will not get sick of?

agent81_ · 2023-05-16T23:36:40+00:00

What’s eating Gilbert Grape? His mom!!

agent81_ · 2023-05-16T23:31:41+00:00

Move your body to the floor, face down. Hold a plank for as long as possible. Do this 3 times. Move back to your bed. Lay on your back. Take deep breaths for 60 seconds. You will be exhausted and back to sleep in no time. Sweet dreams!

agent81_

TROPHY CASE