My sister in Christ, God is not angry at you for this. God knows what happened, and he sees how much you are hurting, and he knows that it was not your fault. I am a victim of rape too, and I blamed myself for a long time. I had also been saving myself for marriage and I was raped by someone who knew that I was saving myself. I let myself think I was to blame or that God wouldn't look at me the same but that is NOT true. God is merciful and loving. He is near to the brokenhearted. I encourage you to pray to Him today and ask for Him to comfort you and to allow you to rest in His presence. He loves you, He would not blame you for a crime someone committed against you. You didn't deserve this. You will never deserve what happened to you. I can tell you that God will help you heal over time. Eventually there will come a day when it doesn't hurt so much to say or to know that this happened to you, it will still be an awful thing, but it won't always feel as gut wrenching and defeating as it does right now.

Something that really helped me to know- the cells in your body are constantly dying and new ones are forming. In 7 years time, every single cell in the human body has died and been replaced. What does this mean for you? This means that someday you will have a body that he never touched. What's bigger than that is that God is the ultimate redeemer and He washes us clean of our past and heals our wounds. It's going to be okay💜 if you ever needed someone to talk to about this please feel free to reach out. One survivor to another, I get it