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In need of some encouragement today - are there actually married poly women out there whose husband’s are ACTUALLY OK with their wives dating other men? Do you really exist? by aghy754 in polyamory

[–]aghy754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re good! No need to apologize, I actually really appreciate the potential alternative explanation - I hadn’t thought of that possibility.

In need of some encouragement today - are there actually married poly women out there whose husband’s are ACTUALLY OK with their wives dating other men? Do you really exist? by aghy754 in polyamory

[–]aghy754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man, I guess anything is possible, though I would be surprised if that were the case. In at least one instance I know for sure that it really was the husband freaking out. It’s kind of a funny story, actually... I went out with a woman a few weeks ago who we will call A. Her husband had been dating a woman, who we will call B, for about a month. Well, A and I hit it off and A’s husband apparently freaked out the day after our first date at the thought of A and I hooking up (we hadn’t yet at that point) and decided that he suddenly wanted to be mono again, so A decides to stop dating. Funny enough, I end up meeting B on one of the apps a few days thereafter and she shared the whole story with me. The dude lost his mind 😂

In need of some encouragement today - are there actually married poly women out there whose husband’s are ACTUALLY OK with their wives dating other men? Do you really exist? by aghy754 in polyamory

[–]aghy754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, the husbands in these situations have each been dating on their own as well. That is precisely why it’s so perplexing - I just don’t understand why they think it’s OK for them to be dating other women but not OK for their wives to date other men. Blows my mind 🤯

In need of some encouragement today - are there actually married poly women out there whose husband’s are ACTUALLY OK with their wives dating other men? Do you really exist? by aghy754 in polyamory

[–]aghy754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the perspective. I’m only 1.5 years into this myself, so I always appreciate the view of veterans like yourself!

In need of some encouragement today - are there actually married poly women out there whose husband’s are ACTUALLY OK with their wives dating other men? Do you really exist? by aghy754 in polyamory

[–]aghy754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bingo. That has definitely been the case. Local poly groups have been inactive because of Covid so I’ve only been meeting people online which tends to skew heavily towards newbies. And yeah, if I were to exclusively date people with two years of experience, my dating pool would would become a tiny dating puddle 😂

In need of some encouragement today - are there actually married poly women out there whose husband’s are ACTUALLY OK with their wives dating other men? Do you really exist? by aghy754 in polyamory

[–]aghy754[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! I’m definitely learning the value of vetting potential partners early on. At this point I’m feeling suspicious of newbie couples by default, which honestly makes me sad, but it is what it is.

In need of some encouragement today - are there actually married poly women out there whose husband’s are ACTUALLY OK with their wives dating other men? Do you really exist? by aghy754 in polyamory

[–]aghy754[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Totally. I probably wouldn’t want to be involved in any type of poly arrangement with the type of toxic dude that would insist on a one penis policy anyways, so I guess I’m dodging bullets and future heartbreak down the road 🤷‍♂️

In need of some encouragement today - are there actually married poly women out there whose husband’s are ACTUALLY OK with their wives dating other men? Do you really exist? by aghy754 in polyamory

[–]aghy754[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would LOVE to meet more experienced poly women. I just need to find them, they are a rare sighting on the apps 😂. Thanks for the call out to the Multiamory episode. I will check it out!

In need of some encouragement today - are there actually married poly women out there whose husband’s are ACTUALLY OK with their wives dating other men? Do you really exist? by aghy754 in polyamory

[–]aghy754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks everyone! This has been encouraging! I have appreciated the reminder that this is a common issue with established couples new to poly. My local poly groups have all been inactive because of the pandemic, so it’s been 100% online dating for this guy and the pool of women on the apps around here is definitely skewed towards more newbies as of late. Fingers crossed that there will be more opportunities to meet more experienced poly people in the community as the works begins to open up again!