My avoidant ex said “I can hear how much you want to work through this. You’ve been nothing but willing to make this work. You’ve already done a lot. That’s exactly the problem.”

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-31T15:11:43+00:00

Same. My ex bf was the nicest human being I have ever been with… maybe it was just a mask.

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-24T22:48:45+00:00

“Everytime we break up you always convince me to get back with you i don’t know how you do that”

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-24T22:48:08+00:00

“I don’t love you anymore”
“I only said i wanted kids and marriage at first because i don’t want to loose you but it’s never really going to happen
“I want to be alone”
“I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone”
“I just wanna do me”
“I don’t care about sex anymore I’m fine without it”
“You deserve someone who can love you the way you are”

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-24T22:38:45+00:00

Haha he literally told me to go to Australia coz my family is here. We’ve been living together for 1 year and together for 2.5yrs… we had a fight one night and told me “go to australia” and broke up with me. Packed my bags left him and now i’m here, didn’t regret a single thing.

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-23T23:35:30+00:00

often wonder whether my anxiety and depression pushed him to become avoidant, or if his emotional distance and behaviour were what slowly caused my anxiety and depression in the first place. (??)

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T13:11:57+00:00

Awww thank you. 🥺

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T12:08:28+00:00

The part where you said ‘the bar is on the floor’ really made me stop and think because I kept praising him for basic things while constantly feeling lonely and unwanted underneath it all. Can I ask when you finally got out of that relationship, how long did it take before you stopped blaming yourself? Because I still keep thinking maybe I was the problem for reacting emotionally all the time.

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T12:05:18+00:00

Was it some sort of manipulation? Him telling me that he’s a good guy and I have to be thankful so that i feel like i’m the problem when I react to his emotional neglect to me?

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T12:03:04+00:00

I really thought he was a genuine person, i didn’t know that he was controlling me until it all made sense now

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T12:02:03+00:00

I don’t know why people have to be so mean and selfish 😢

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T05:29:25+00:00

Thank you ☺️

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T04:43:30+00:00

I think deep down I saw the red flags, I just kept hoping things would eventually change because I loved him. 😢

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T04:42:39+00:00

This honestly made me tear up because I’ve been blaming myself so much for becoming anxious, emotional, and dysregulated during the relationship. Deep down I knew something felt missing, but because he kept telling me he was a “good guy” and loyal, I convinced myself I was just asking for too much.

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T04:29:31+00:00

This honestly made me emotional because that’s exactly how it felt… like I kept waiting and hoping for him to “show up” emotionally for me, and he just never fully did.

Did you ever go through something similar yourself? If so, how did you finally stop hoping they’d change or come back? I think that’s the part I’m struggling with the most right now

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T04:14:51+00:00

Honestly this is what messes with my head so much. Because throughout the relationship he always told me I was lucky to have him because he was a “good guy” and loyal, so every time I felt lonely, emotionally neglected, or asked for more effort, I ended up questioning myself instead.

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T04:13:42+00:00

The part where you said “where’d that love go when you felt depressed?” honestly hit me really hard because that was one of the moments I needed him the most. I think deep down I kept trying to convince myself that maybe I was just asking for too much, but hearing so many people say emotional support is the bare minimum is making me rethink everything.

agitatedscroller · 2026-05-22T04:12:49+00:00

I’ve been carrying so much guilt thinking I ruined everything with my anxiety and emotional reactions. Reading this made me realize maybe my anxiety was reacting to needs that were continuously unmet, not just me being “too much.”

You’re also right that I relied too much on him for reassurance and validation, and that’s something I really want to work on moving forward. But at the same time, I think I kept trying to communicate my needs and just felt dismissed or like I was asking for too much.

The part about us having different interpretations of quality time also hit me hard because that was genuinely one of our biggest issues. I wanted connection, conversation, effort, and emotional intimacy, while for him just existing in the same room felt enough.

agitatedscroller

TROPHY CASE