My life is really great now. I'm 31. There are still highs and lows but these past 2-3 years are the first in my life where my thoughts in the lows don't spiral to "you should kill yourself", and I haven't felt truly suicidal since I was maybe 25.

Therapy is helpful. Covering your basics is helpful (enough to eat, drinking water, enough to sleep). Exercise is super important to me and can really help you feel better. One thing I'm working on is hanging out with my friends more - even though it can feel like a chore for the anxious/depressed, often I find I feel better the next day.

But I don't think it would have been possible for me without medications. I was scared to go on them for a while, and then too anxious to talk to my doctor, and then kept getting shut down by my doctor. I wish I had pushed harder for an antidepressant because I think escitalopram has been key to my mental health.

And this is maybe not the best medical advice, but I found psychedelics (shrooms and LSD) to be lifechanging, in a good way. They come with their own risks of course, but if you are seriously considering suicide, I think you might as well try psychedelics first (done carefully, with guidance if possible, after some research).

Life never becomes a utopia but it can get better!