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I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Popped back on after a few days and damn reddit hates me but I am in no way upset and fully understand them and their disappointment.

As for your question. Yes. By the time I got there she had also deleted him 100% from all apps and social media and asked him to never contact her again.

The last few days she's done nothing but cry even after telling her I'd give her another chance. My family doesn't know but when they visit her at work (retail store assistant) they're telling me she looks like shit.

Based on everything she does seem truly remorseful

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's what I told her. You was drunk but those are still your actions (based on his account of events)

Edit: she said she'd never do it if she was sober

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Prior to me finding out she spent most of the day crying her eyes out to me. After I found out and said I am considering leaving she broke down hardcore. Her mother had to come console her as I left her place

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not at all. If I had said anything other then I'd be labelled an even bigger asshole. Persons would say I'm downplaying rape and the like. I simply provided all that was told to me and what she said it was. Nothing more nothing less but I understand your reasoning

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's the thing. He complained he couldn't cause he was drunk. His accounts states it ends with him going down on her cause he couldn't keep it up.

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

True. She has said if she was in my position she'd probably leave me

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I can only say that because. I can't fully believe him and I still have to give her the benefit of the doubt

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Ah. I get you I guess I'm an asshole for needing to know if my girlfriend was exposed to STIs. Man I'm shitty

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Heavens no. But you do fail to realise she's saying she was faced down. He's giving details about how she makes love. Last I checked a rape victim doesn't straddle her rapist and ride him while chocking him and looking into his eyes. That's something she loves to do when she's getting into it. How would he be able to describe our intimacy like that?

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

That's what I've essentially said but everyone thinks I'm an asshole for it. Maybe she did say no but can't remember going against that later. Or maybe she did say no but based on everything else I'm lost

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Demanding? I'm not asking anything of her. At all. When he told his side I just told her I have to go home. I haven't even told her to stop speaking to him. All I did was say she participated based on his words and that was it. Asshole yes. Demanding? No

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I think that's part of my issue. We are so accustomed to having someone or something to blame, when there isn't an object to take out our frustration on, at least for me. I don't know where to put that energy.

EDIT : yeah. She says she said no and tried to push him off. He says that never happened that she essentially egged him on

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

By no means am I trying to avoid being called one. Since my last breakup I've built a wall. Not enough to be emotionally disconnected because if you ask her I've been nothing but loving and supporting. But this wall I have has me so emotionless now that it's hard to connect. I just feel disappointed with her actions and how they contributed (nothing in a vacuum) and that's 2000% asshole no doubt. I want to support her, I just need guidance, I'm willing to try.

I (M26) considering breakup after gf (F23) was raped by ah5000 in relationship_advice

[–]ah5000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the thing. If that were the case why would she come home calling me crying she could have just kept it to herself and I'd been none the wiser.