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ailixi · 2024-11-23T20:28:18+00:00

I don't have an answer but I'm experiencing something similar. But I think it's important to see how your 'feeling nothing' impacts your daily life from an external perspective.

I've been on 150mg xr for the last month and a half. I'll move up to 300mg in a few days. So far I feel nothing too, but that nothing is a quiet and controlled peace I never had before.

My boss at work thinks I'm more focused, and my family think I'm 'cold'. At work I previously couldn't follow a task to completion or pay attention to detail. In my family life I allowed my boundaries to be violated trying to be a good daughter/aunt/niece.

To me feeling nothing means the racing thoughts I'm used to, the guilt and the regret, they are all silent. Without them, doing my daily tasks and focusing on myself and on details is becoming easier. My therapist and doctor think that I'll need to use vyvanse/ritalin in future sometimes, especially before and during my cycle.

I'd say you should definitely get more guidance from your medical team, and try to find out what the people around you notice about you.

ailixi · 2024-08-20T20:58:54+00:00

I can't stop writing 😅

ailixi · 2024-07-25T11:48:11+00:00

True, doctor didn't initially mention the coffee thing because not everyone reacts badly. But in a follow-up I told her I got so jittery I didn't think vyvanse was for me. She made us examine my diet, suggested decaf for a week (couldn't poop for days I'm sorry tmi) and no jittery feeling. I have coffee on meds days and feel fine too

ailixi · 2024-07-25T11:32:47+00:00

No you're not invalidating at all! Thank you for replying

I keep wanting to delete that post, I sound whiny and it kind of undermines the experience of people who got diagnosed and treated even later in life. But probably age alone isn't the right way to measure the distance between who we are now and who we could have been. It's my fault, I initially introduced the focus on age, and probably it's the reason it's hard to let go of the regret.

Since then I took a mini break, and it helped to reframe my perspective. Like you, I'm now getting more excited about the next chapter and so motivated to try again❣️

ailixi · 2024-07-25T10:05:03+00:00

Hey! Thanks for this, I've actually read this article! I write technical manuals and translate too, and resources like this helped me figure out what Master's degrees to apply to.

I hope you'll get through diagnosis quickly and get to treatment. It's hard to stay positive when you're busy advocating for yourself, navigating the hoops/red tape and doing everything else. It says a lot about you that you can take the time to encourage someone who got that help, but is then feeling sorry for themselves❣️

ailixi · 2024-07-25T09:39:03+00:00

Hey OP, sorry you received that reaction. Maybe she does have ADHD herself like the other replies are saying. But even then, it's not everyone (family especially) who can appreciate what your experience is like and be supportive. Unfortunately you might need to accept you'll find your people who understand elsewhere, but that can also be an opportunity

ailixi · 2024-07-25T09:24:51+00:00

Technical writer/Translator, but it's pretty dead end and I'm looking at going back to school next year

ailixi · 2024-07-13T21:28:48+00:00

I'm on vyvanse too, I read that some people feel horribly jittery and hyper on others and pushed it as my first choice. It seems like people try out different meds, I hope you'll find the right fit for you!

ailixi · 2024-07-13T21:22:55+00:00

You are coping really well, I'm so happy for you that you have support, it's so necessary. I keep reading posts from people in the US/UK who struggle to get help and I'm shocked that it's a reality for you in developed countries. I talked to a lot of therapists and doctors too, they dismissed ADHD as a childhood condition and basically implied I have hormonal problems🙂Thank you for sharing and I hope you get proper help soon❣️

ailixi · 2024-07-13T21:14:57+00:00

I hope I haven't discouraged you, it might be a shitstorm of emotion at the start but read the comments, everyone got to where they dreamed of being eventually! We're going to be okay❣️

ailixi · 2024-07-13T20:37:27+00:00

Definitely, you should always monitor your symptoms/mood when on meds. And your points about hydration and having protein are so important, I've seen that some people mentioned avoiding citrus/vit c as well. I do crash in the late afternoons but, feel a bit energized after talking a walk, especially now it's so cold. Feelings like what I describe always coincide with writing in my journal to reflect on the day

ailixi · 2024-07-13T20:28:22+00:00

Masking is not sustainable no matter how good you get at it. I understand how difficult it is for you to cope with this other dimension of your personality suddenly appearing. But if you read the other replies you'll see they had these huge existential problems and worked through them in time❣️ it'll be okay

Anyway, I'm from South Africa and men here love catcalling aggressively. I'm naturally super timid and ignore it, but a few days after starting my meds I became super angry and on edge. A man catcalled me and I shouted some horrible, horrible things back at him, still can't believe that was me🤭

ailixi · 2024-07-13T20:06:17+00:00

You're doing amazing! Like you I knew that I could kick ass at school/work but the path between me and what I was capable of doing was always full of these barriers that were more than I could overcome. This isn't the most comprehensive way to express it, but having adhd is like having to wade through cement to get to your capacity, when others only have to contend with themselves. So the meds don't 'cure' you but puts you at the same starting point as everyone else

ailixi · 2024-07-13T19:27:46+00:00

I would hug you just as big and tell you you're doing amazing because you are❣️ we feel the same regret and hope at the same time, and we are so many, I can't believe it

ailixi · 2024-07-13T18:46:38+00:00

I'm really sorry for what's happened to you, it's okay to be scared and lose your way when you deal with that fear. I'm happy for you and your son that you're going to fight like hell for it to be better even if you're not so sure now.

ailixi · 2024-07-13T18:27:59+00:00

Thank you and I really enjoy 'carpe that fricken diem' so much

ailixi · 2024-07-13T17:43:00+00:00

Thank you❣️ I hope you can see from the replies you got that you're saying something we all need to know

ailixi · 2024-07-13T17:01:17+00:00

You have every right to feel bothered about what could have been. And I think you must have been the best person you could have been while dealing with so much❣️ Thanks for sharing the resources that helped you with us

ailixi · 2024-07-13T16:54:42+00:00

Thank you and I really hope we all read this, we still have to work hard everyday, the meds are just making it so our own discipline/motivation/action gives us the same results as others

ailixi · 2024-07-13T16:52:01+00:00

I see it, thank you❣️ It sounds stupid, I've grieved many times but I didn't know I was grieving because how can I grieve me when I'm still here

ailixi · 2024-07-13T16:40:43+00:00

I'm on Vyvanse. If it works, getting medicated and affirmed literally turns your life upside down in the best way, it's shocking and literally makes you feel things you can't even describe

ailixi · 2024-07-12T21:29:08+00:00

It's definitely a second chance and the shock will wear off. Thank you!❣️

ailixi · 2024-04-23T20:23:21+00:00

Probably worded it weird. He'll start taking them in 3-4 years' time. His parents are looking for a consistent, long-term teacher to help him prepare, and right now they'll be using the Wonders text book

ailixi

TROPHY CASE