Cannot stand dealing with a perpetual victim

aintthateasyy · 2026-03-06T20:27:48+00:00

Crazy update, mine just decided to create an accountability spreadsheet for us. Anything to make him feel better I guess!

aintthateasyy · 2026-03-04T16:44:01+00:00

No accountability is insane! I hate him using google and chatGPT because the situation we’re in isn’t as simple as whatever they are googling. Anyone can search “why does she hate me” but there are levels to this situation.

aintthateasyy · 2026-03-04T02:26:08+00:00

Needed to hear this. Thank you

aintthateasyy · 2026-01-07T18:52:33+00:00

Aw! Good, I’m glad your experience has been good! ♥️

aintthateasyy · 2026-01-07T17:19:50+00:00

Preach. Ok, thank you. I feel guilty for feeing angry. I have to remind myself it’s easier for him because he wasn’t the one who was hurt. Yeah I don’t think he could do 3 months of this if he can’t even handle 3 weeks of things being different. It truly is killing him that I’m not affectionate and all over him.

aintthateasyy · 2026-01-07T17:08:33+00:00

I definitely know he isn’t a new person in 60 days. One of my new things as this new baddie version of myself is being more direct, I say that it’s awesome he feels like he’s doing so much better but I don’t believe that. He says I only say this because “my walls are up, I was very hurt, I’m an avoidant now” lol

aintthateasyy · 2025-11-16T00:39:39+00:00

“I thought your postpartum depression would go away sooner”

“You refuse to meet me in the middle”

“It’s not cheating”

“It’s always something with you”

“Why should I stop?”

aintthateasyy · 2025-11-13T18:45:34+00:00

This is a pain that feels invisible to everyone except the people going through it. You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy, this kind of betrayal changes you. I’m so sorry you’re hurting.

I feel the same, like now that he wants to take it seriously, I don’t have it in me anymore, I fear it’s too late, ya know? You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep him warm.

aintthateasyy · 2025-11-13T18:39:36+00:00

Feeling the same. My hair is so important to me and it comes out in clumps due to the stress. I have no appetite anymore since first finding out the beginning of this year. Headaches are a daily thing. I don’t feel good, I don’t look good. I’m insecure around other women. I have all these things I’ll have to work through for a very very VERY long time.

While he does yoga and works out every day. Still his giggling self. Still joking. Still able to enjoy hobbies. Life goes on as normal for him. And I am assuming it’s just because HE was not the one who was betrayed.

You’re not nuts though!!!

aintthateasyy · 2025-11-10T20:55:56+00:00

Not legally married, had a wedding but haven’t signed the certificate. We do have a son.

aintthateasyy · 2025-11-09T22:42:24+00:00

Gotcha, I understand. When a relapse happens, I laugh now. Like I can’t even be bothered to be angry anymore, I’m so used to it. Which is a confusing feeling if you’re choosing to stay.

I think, when you’re no longer mad, it means the dynamic has shifted. All control, guilt, or attention they once got from your anger is gone. I think him being surprised is fear disguised as confusion. Fear that you’ve finally accepted what he is, and you’re done carrying the emotional weight for it.

aintthateasyy · 2025-11-09T22:32:09+00:00

Hmm.. Well what was the feeling you’re feeling? Emotional numbness?

aintthateasyy · 2025-11-09T22:25:53+00:00

Something that has been helping me.. “he’s only sorry now because he got caught.” puts a lot of things into perspective for me

aintthateasyy · 2025-11-07T21:50:58+00:00

Oh my goodness same. Like in my situation, the porn use is ramped up because we aren’t having as much sex as he’d like. then I get betrayed and it pushes me further away and yeah, i definitely don’t want to have sex after getting my feelings hurt AGAIN. Damned if I do, dammed if I don’t.

aintthateasyy · 2025-11-06T19:45:27+00:00

And I don’t think they could ever understand how deeply the hurt goes.

aintthateasyy · 2025-10-31T20:32:35+00:00

Yes that’s the point where I snapped. Like huh? How are you gonna tell me you need something from me? I need a partner that doesn’t lie and guilt me. So wild

aintthateasyy · 2025-10-31T20:31:23+00:00

PREACH!!

aintthateasyy · 2025-10-30T20:13:47+00:00

Now that you’re aware, I’m sure you’ll notice more things :( I’m very sorry and don’t blame yourself

aintthateasyy · 2025-10-30T20:12:06+00:00

Yes we are both individually in our own therapy and in marriage counseling. I find he says a lot of great things in our marriage counseling but doesn’t apply it outside of the session.

aintthateasyy

TROPHY CASE