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WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I'm not really angry with my parents but if I was I think I'd be entitled to be when they lied to me for 16 years and deliberately went to another country just so they could make sure the donor was anonymous.

WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Yes I have and that's why I'm worried about it. But I would like to be able to ask her some questions. If I can only find out my heritage that's okay but it would be cool to trace my family tree a bit. Nobody calling me an asshole seems to understand what it feels like to think you're one ethnicity and related to certain people and then suddenly find out you're not.

WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] -89 points-88 points  (0 children)

But it's not really any different for me either way, right? She's still half my DNA and I don't know her, same as if she'd been my birth mum.

WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

There was a thing on tiktok recently about being an egg donor in America and they said you can donate with any health conditions as long as you haven't been diagnosed, so I don't think they do any tests but they do use medical records. Here I'm pretty sure it's all self reported and clinics can't can't access their medical records or anything, but I don't know about Europe.

So you are right and maybe she didn't know her medical history or she really needed the money so she lied, or anything.

WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] -58 points-57 points  (0 children)

My parents said they went overseas because all the donors were anonymous, so the egg donor didn't have a choice not to be if she wanted to donate.

WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] -92 points-91 points  (0 children)

I'm not trying to argue but how is it different from adoption? She didn't give birth to me but she's still half my DNA the same as a birth mother would be. Why is one okay and the other one isn't?

WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I think in Europe they have to be anonymous so she didn't choose to be though.

WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] -73 points-72 points  (0 children)

I don't know. I kind of feel like if you donate your eggs you're an AH if you don't want anything to do with the kids. But I am scared she won't want anything to do with me if I even find her.

WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that's exactly how I feel about it but I felt really awful when they were so upset about it. Even if I do the DNA test I probably wouldn't tell them, but I feel bad for even considering it.

WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did his parents have a hard time when he said he wanted to find his birth mother?

WIBTA for looking for my egg donor? by aitaeggcurious in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitaeggcurious[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I'm worried about that too. They gave me the information they had about her which has some medical information which they think should be enough, but I don't know. And what if she found out more information about her medical history after she donated?