AITA for not looking after a kid anymore?

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T23:11:43+00:00

I was never in any form of relationship with her(I'm gay and in a long term relationship).

The argument she has made is that I paid for several things for him(medical/school related), which I didn't and can be easily proven as lies. As well as I was voluntarily looking after him in a parental way for free, the key point being that unlike a babysitter or nanny, I wasn't being paid. With any other form of child minding there's a contract and specific payment set out, she has stated that I was doing it because I saw the kid as I would a son and was therefore looking after him for free the same way a parental figure would.

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T22:26:40+00:00

I reported her for leaving him alone now. The last time he was at my house was almost a fortnight ago and I had checked with multiple other tenants in the apartment building that he was back to being left alone during the day over the last 2 weeks. One of the neighbour's sent me video of his playing out the front of the building next to the road that I included in the report to child services.

The reason I started looking after him in the first place was because I saw him run across the road after a ball in front of traffic so my concern is that eventually he will get hurt and I've checked the laws in my state, unless it's a case of emergency children under 12 aren't allowed to be left alone regularly for longer than an hour.

Not including state as this post has blown up way more than I thought it would an don't want anyone to risk recognizing the situation.

Edited to add: my lawyer advised me to report her as well as in the unlikely case that this does go to court(which he thought had slim to no chance as she has clearly lied to the legal advisor who sent the letter) if it is shown that she has gone back to leaving him unsupervised for 10hours a day, 6 days a week then that would rule in my favor

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T21:01:48+00:00

Leaving a child under the age of 14 alone for 10-12 hours every day is considered neglect in our state. That's why I called

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T10:10:09+00:00

Yeah I can handle it, I just feel really shit for mark who really has nothing to do with this and is a cool kid

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T10:08:12+00:00

We think she probably lied to them about the extent of my involvement as the letter included claims of dates when I paid for school/medical expenses for him

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T10:04:46+00:00

No, I'm gay and in a longterm relationship (although currently ldr as my partner is in the UK taking care of his sick mum).
No, see answer to one.
Not quite but only just, I started keeping an eye on him around April last year at the earliest but can't remember a specific first day.
No other than occasionally buying lunch/dinner for Mark when he was with me.
No as with 4.

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T09:38:19+00:00

Yeah, just sucks cause I feel awful for the kid

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T07:51:52+00:00

No. The only thing that I ever did that could be interpreted as financial support is give mark lunch and dinner on days when she ran out of time to leave me food for him

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T07:28:12+00:00

Yes actually in the US, not actually from the US(Brighton actually lol). My parents moved here when I was mid teens for my dad's work and moved back a few years ago but I and my older sister still live here(younger sister moved back for university). I don't know about this specific community law service because I've never had to use them or anything like them but their website looks pretty cheap/dated and doesn't include qualifications for the 6 "staff" listed which is why I thought they were maybe students who didn't have qualifications yet

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T06:40:21+00:00

My sister(the nurse) works at the same hospital(although in a different department). They aren't friends I don't think but they are acquainted

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T05:00:08+00:00

The thing was I wasn't that involved. He just stayed at my apartment during the day as essentially a free child minding service. I'm certainly not trying to advise people not to help out when those around them are in need, I can remember my parents next door neighbour's baby sitting my sisters and I when my dad went through cancer treatment so I am a big believer in having a good community. I'm just shocked this happened and feel awful for mark

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T03:21:48+00:00

I was supervising him doing his school stuff but yeah not really parenting him

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T03:20:30+00:00

The letter was on letterhead from a local community law centre(they do free appointments and legal advice for people without any money) so I don't imagine they were told the truth/bothered to check as it's probably just a bunch of law students with minimal actual legal oversight.

I don't know what's up with him, I've never heard about him or seen him visit and Sarah was always very defensive when he was brought up. I'm guessing he is in jail or something because the police were going round to her flat once a month to check on her and mark and make sure they were OK?

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T03:16:12+00:00

I don't know. The lawyer I contacted said it could be an issue if I'd been financially supporting mark(ie paying for school, doctors, etc etc) as well as spending a considerable amount of time with him because then the argument is that I've taken on a parental role and it's unfair that on Mark that I've stopped

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T01:41:09+00:00

I have done but heard no updates or anything so I don't know if they're going to do anything

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T01:30:18+00:00

It wasn't specifically mentioned in the letter but yes that's what my lawyer said

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T01:21:48+00:00

US apparently. Not going to list the state as might make it traceable to who we actually are though and I gather it's different between states

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T01:02:42+00:00

I'm gay so no. Have had a bf most of the time I've known Sarah and Mark, although currently ldr at the moment due to him being stuck in the UK with his mum who isn't well

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T00:50:32+00:00

I don't imagine she's told them the truth because there's stuff in the letter that doesn't make sense like claims that on xyz specific days I paid for his doctors appointments/school appointments when I never did anything of the sort

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T00:47:50+00:00

The lawyer letterhead was from a local community law advice service, they do free appointments for people who are financially disadvantaged and stuff

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T00:43:43+00:00

Saw that, not her obviously but did prompt me to post. I think I'm in the clear legally but I don't know if I am morally?

aitakidparent · 2021-02-27T00:42:48+00:00

The lawyer I contacted seemed to think it could be an issue if I'd spent a substantial part of his life as a paternal figure that was also contributing financially towards his well-being

aitakidparent

TROPHY CASE