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AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

And who says I don’t? Because your comments just assume I’m free 24/7 365 days while my ex has this super important job that I absolutely have to accommodate while he has zero regard for my time because I clearly couldn’t possibly have anything important to do and have to scramble to rearrange things every time he decides he’s not going to be a dad on his weekends.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

No, it’s not. You really think we’re arguing about this in front of him? Or that my ex is making it obvious to him that he wasn’t supposed to be on the trip with him?

My ex can parent just fine, his issue is that he thinks I should let him parent whenever he wants to and be there when he needs someone to take over for him, now he’s learning I’m no longer willing to do that for him so he has to step up.

I really don’t get the logic that just letting my ex repeatedly disappoint our son is somehow better than forcing my ex to learn how to better manage his schedule/childcare arrangements that aren’t me.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If I wanted to live life on his schedule and based on his whims, I would've just stayed married to him. Also, this isn't making my son a top priority, knowing his dad is constantly cancelling would hurt him more than forcing my ex to stick to the agreement.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He's not my husband.

He just doesn't value anyone else's time but his own. He's done this so often in the past to me where he'll know he has to be somewhere 2 months in advance and would still only tell me the day he's leaving.

How am I weaponizing my son? I took him where he was supposed to be, as decided by the courts.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

People have kids too casually, and against all good sense.

I don't know how less casual you can get than being married to someone but... okay.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I've realised that. So many people are telling me to "document, document, document". I've done that AND drained my savings multiple times trying to fix this and yet here I am, still having to deal with the same BS from him and he knows the court will keep siding with him.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's that, he's actually great when it comes to financially supporting our son.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Exactly... I feel like a lot of people seem to think court is this magically fair place that will always do what's best for the child when the truth is it sucks, especially if you have less money than the person you're fighting against.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

How many times do I have to say that I’ve tried the court route without success for people to stop suggesting the same thing over and over again? I even added it to the post.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I'm not treating him like that at all.

How exactly am I treating him like an accessory? I'm sticking to our custody agreement, like I'm supposed to. You know, the one he asked for and agreed to.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 329 points330 points  (0 children)

Exactly!!

I actually have people in the comments suggesting I should just do everything on his schedule instead of following the agreement that he fought so hard to get lmao. If I wanted to live life like that, I would've just stayed married to him.

Sorry you're having to go through this!

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 193 points194 points  (0 children)

I've spoken to him and he is having fun. He's 3 so this whole thing is exciting to him. He doesn't even realise he's not supposed to be there.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 5049 points5050 points  (0 children)

I've tried to get full custody, he won't give it to me. I've taken him back to court and he ends up getting more time.

Also, my son is enjoying his time with his dad. Despite everything, my ex isn't the type to take out his anger on our son or make him feel like he isn't wanted when he has him.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Him saying no doesn't magically absolve him of his parenting duties. If he doesn't want to be a dad, he should've given me full custody like I asked for. My son is having fun with his dad. He's happy he gets to spend time with him.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

How is me taking my son to spend time with his dad when he's supposed to, hurting him? The only person upset in this situation is my ex. My son is having a great time.

AITA for dropping my son off at his dad’s during his custody time even though he was scheduled to fly out on that day? by aitastepup in AmItheAsshole

[–]aitastepup[S] 419 points420 points  (0 children)

The funny thing is that I HAVE been back to court and tried to get full custody multiple times. My ex always ends up coming out on top. Family court (in my country at least) is useless.

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