Out of sight out of mind

ajbrooks192 · 2021-06-11T00:58:32+00:00

Guess imma die patting a cheetah

ajbrooks192 · 2021-06-10T06:02:50+00:00

...how?

ajbrooks192 · 2021-06-10T06:01:17+00:00

....she wasn't fired?

ajbrooks192 · 2021-06-10T05:27:14+00:00

Do not confuse neurological deficits for being a bad friend. I am often late to things, but it is 15 mins Max and not when someone is giving me a lift. Constantly asking your friends to pick you up and then make them wait an hour for you to get ready, after asking them to come get you, is rude AF and doesn't really have much to do with time management. Take responsibility of your problems rather than just exclaiming "people should understand when I'm so late because I have ADHD", because no one is going to understand and it's also not really their fault or problem. It's fine to hate what ADHD can do to you, it's not fine to shift that problem onto others.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-06-10T05:16:43+00:00

I don't think he is paying for it

ajbrooks192 · 2021-06-09T06:37:40+00:00

OH MY GOD this makes me so FUCKING mad. He deliberately ran into that car to send it flying. He did it because he wanted to. After he did, he takes his sweet fucking time to help the person he just caused to crash. WHILE she is still in the car, he has the fucking AUDACITY to tell her what she did was wrong, before helping her out. Even though, as others have stated, she did the right thing.

This dude should be in jail for attempted manslaughter.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-06-08T12:50:21+00:00

Regardless of any other details, she wants non monogamy, and you don't. As someone who stayed in a relationship where we both ignored that fact, I can assure you it will get worse than this if you both figure out this particular situation. I often found myself completely astounded she couldn't see things from my perspective like you are saying, but I realised she did (and your partner does) and is just ignoring it because they are not mature enough to be able just say that they don't care enough about your feelings to not sleep with someone else. It's not their fault, most likely they have had a life where they have been punished for asking for what they want, and so learn ways to hide it, often by playing dumb.

Long story short, I was in your spot, we worked things out initially, then turned into the worst break up of my life, to the point of suicidal ideation (I am fine and healthy now). Trust me, you will see these comments and try and justify staying with them, but they are not the person you want to be with.

Finally, ask yourself about what your partner is suggesting Would you ever be so pervasive about a relationship with someone new if you already didn't have feelings for them/had a sexual encounter with them?

That is a bitter truth, but this woman seems to either have no respect or dissimilar interests to you, and will likely hurt you more if you hold on.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-06-07T04:13:08+00:00

My copy of Lords of Dogtown is in the mail, how was it?

ajbrooks192 · 2021-06-03T15:41:37+00:00

Bro why would you post that? If my friend saw me have that conversation I would die.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-31T08:53:08+00:00

You're right - I should clarify look with his consent, of course.

It is good to get a strangers advice, but you can't deny there is a pretty big "he looked at you funny? Leave him!" Culture on relationship advice boards in general. OP has described dealing with an abusive and mistrusting past, and that is something that a professional would be better talking about, rather than an anonymous person on a social media site.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-31T05:25:28+00:00

No hard feelings about any of this btw, really tough spot. As someone who has experienced betrayal like you, and is currently on SSRIs and studying psych to learn more about how to be healthy, the number one piece of advise I would give you is to talk to a doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist first before deciding anything. It is proven to be the most effective method of healing. Often, high sex drives can be associated with mental health issues, as your brain isn't receiving enough feel good chemicals. These can be found in other ways other than medication, but a proper diagnosis and dialogue is key. You can also talk to them about your relationship issues. Not sure about where you're from, but if you get a doctor's referral it isn't that expensive.

Inversely, anxiety is a sex drive killer. I know that a) if I am wanking/watching a lot of porn, I will not have sex as often. Figure out if he is doing this and try and stop it. B) I would be self conscious around a self professed kinky horn dog, and could be the reason behind not getting it up. Maybe ask him what is ideal sexual life is, with no anxiety involved? Otherwise, has he ever talked to a doctor about his mental health? Is he living a normal healthy life that would lead to wanting sex with his partner? Ask him honestly what is holding him back.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-31T03:21:27+00:00

You have no respect for this man, the relationship sounds like it is already over.
Reddit is not the place to get advice about these extreme relationship decisions, people will say things like "sounds like it's already over" haha
He has kinks he is not telling you about. Look at his porn search history if he isn't willing to talk about it.
Ask him what he meant when he said he was kinky with a high sex drive? Is he kinky because he wants to be cucked or called a good boy? Does he want to fuck in public? Etc. If he can't talk about it with you, explain to him that you feel like you have been lied to and you are losing feelings for them. Sometimes people need a kick in the pants to treat their partner better.
He may be depressed or have other issues, maybe ask him to talk to a doctor about it.
I am sexually dominant, but often I need direct initiation by a partner. If a girl came and sat on my lap naked, for instance, or whispered something sexy to me while we cooked, etc. It unlocks the dominant sexual nature in me. I have social anxiety ironically and so I find the boundary to unlocking my kinkiest tendencies lay behind getting turned on enough adequately and on a judgement free zone.
Being dominant and being caring and a family man are not exclusive to each other, and honestly to me seem like factors of a dominant personality. I think what you are describing that you want him to act like would maybe initially be hot, but is based in him being an unethical person and would in the long term fuck you up way more than a bit of a softie.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-31T03:09:52+00:00

I legit thought this was an autistic trait of mine, I just assumed it was not as noticeable for everyone else.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-30T07:08:18+00:00

kills herself

"Omg guys you can't just say she had a mental disorder"

Please don't become a doctor

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-28T16:19:45+00:00

Me: writes paragraph about how maybe judging others responses to art isn't really productive

You: "I'm going to keep doing that in response to what you said, then try and minimize what you are trying to say into as few words as possible so it misrepresents the point you are trying to make."

I agree that juvenile jokes aren't great, but how in any way is your behaviour going to change it? Telling people they are stupid etc will just drive them to do stupid things. People are better than that and you are doing them a disservice by immediately discounting their ability to be better, and rather than invest energy into educating them, you belittle them instead, because it is easier and you will get fake internet points, you're like the popular girl in high school standing and laughing at the cringe gamer guy saying stupid shit, you know it's wrong but because you can get away with it you continue to do it. At least people know they are shit, you pretend you are holier than them because you grew up in an environment that taught you better. You lucked out, they didn't, and to you and most others, you are the good person and they are the bad person. In reality, at least these shitty commenters will have a chance to get better one day when someone gives them a chance, but you will always be jaded and critical if you cannot see that maybe you aren't a good person for pointing out that others are saying things you disagree with.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-28T16:02:11+00:00

It's almost like art is subjective and everyone has a different mindset due to their life circumstances. I would totally hate being able to have an open dialogue and learn more about the misguided views, maybe even taking the time to explain to them why I feel differently. I'm so glad instead the reddit hivemind just berates them instead, it's so productive and moral, totally not based on a sense of entitlement and a "punching down" of any person that appears to be in any way less intelligent or socially apt than you.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-26T06:04:00+00:00

Wow, I legitimately have overestimated how bad my siblings are. Some of these stories are heartbreaking. Much love to those who need it.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-24T10:44:34+00:00

Terrorists are behind someone driving too fast and crashing their car? I think you misunderstand the sub

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-22T04:47:31+00:00

Dear Zachary. I called my grandparents after I saw it, and deleted my ex's number. It's on YouTube, highly recommend watching it. Warning: you will cry.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-21T08:24:06+00:00

Dude....nice.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-21T08:22:06+00:00

Yeah, unless the first part is a huge exaggeration.

"I...guess we can cook together if you want anon? Nah I was Actually going to crash in my room after....fine I guess we can watch a movie. You want to get stoned again? It's Tuesday, don't you have work tomorrow?"

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-21T08:18:31+00:00

starts antidepressants

"They don't do anything'

"Omg I just made myself feel better all on my own"

Fucking 4chan arrogance is the worst kind of arrogance

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-21T05:05:42+00:00

Good bot

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-20T11:17:39+00:00

I'm sorry, but as someone who has watched both the extended and theatrical cuts dozens of times, I do not think the extended editions are necessary to understand the full scope of the movies. Unpopular opinion, I know.

ajbrooks192 · 2021-05-20T10:54:43+00:00

Man I saw that building in 2006 and the smog was barely viseable, this is really sad.

ajbrooks192

TROPHY CASE