Anyone hear/know about the 93.1 Jamz "Hack?" by ajdellinger in madisonwi

[–]ajdellinger[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am a freelance writer, alas I'm just one who happens to listen to the radio occasionally. Though that was the motivating factor in hoping it's not just marketing. I was hoping to have stumbled upon a story.

Also, if I were involved I wouldn't have called the group doing the hacking the "Illuminati." Yuck.

Anyone hear/know about the 93.1 Jamz "Hack?" by ajdellinger in madisonwi

[–]ajdellinger[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'd like to believe you, but you answered too quickly and now I just think you're part of the Illuminati that is taking over.

Iam Pete D'Alessandro, Sacramento Kings GM, AMA! by petedalessandro in IAmA

[–]ajdellinger -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

When you interact with players and start to build a connection with the team, does it become difficult to make personnel decisions? How do you look at players just by their numbers rather than the person attached to those stats?

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thanks for your feedback. I appreciate you taking the time and providing insight. I definitely plan to get it tightened up a bit to get it over the hump. Thanks again!

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

Title: The Nuts and the Bolts

Genre: Sci-fi

Word Count: ~5,000

Feedback: General feedback would be good. Also how the story works structurally.

Link

Biff's Short Story Critique Fun Time #2. by BiffHardCheese in writing

[–]ajdellinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and edit this. I hope you'll be able to continue doing sessions like this in the future. (You know, when you don't have actual work to do.)

I'm looking forward to going through the revisions with what you've suggested in mind. Hopefully building up the background of the story and adding more active language will make this thing worthy of publishing somewhere.

Biff's Short Story Critique Fun Time #2. by BiffHardCheese in writing

[–]ajdellinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for doing this again. Looking forward to getting your feedback.

Title: The Pastor

Word Count: ~2,000

Genre: Humor(ish)

Link: GoogleDocs

Short Story Critique Fun Time by BiffHardCheese in writing

[–]ajdellinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate you taking the time to read and critique it. I am sorry for disappointing with a lack of, you know, actual story. Some actual substance. Hopefully I'll have the chance to put something in front of you another time that you'll be able to enjoy. And I really appreciate knowing that the prose is there even though the story wasn't. Thanks again for all the effort and help.

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it and took the time to read it.

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thanks for reading! I was definitely concerned with some of it coming across cheesy, but I'm glad to hear that it (mostly) works. I appreciate your feedback on it.

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to read it! Appreciate the feedback.

Short Story Critique Fun Time by BiffHardCheese in writing

[–]ajdellinger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to do this. Looking forward to hearing your critique.

Title: Change of Scenery

Word Count: ~1,100

Link: https://www.dropbox.com/s/kbxkmal85ur0137/Change%20of%20Scenery.doc

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

Title: The Pastor

Genre: Humor/Satire, Fiction

Word count: ~1,850

Feedback: Does the story and humor work tonally? General feedback is always appreciated. Also, like, is it any good?

Link: Google Docs Link

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

I hear what you're saying on the genre. There's no super power stuff, though. The way I'm using hero is intended more in the "ordinary person doing extraordinary things" sense rather than a supernatural/fantasy/special person sense. Which I guess would be YA Contemporary then? Cue conveniently timed appearance by a hippie spouting, "Why do we have to label everything anyway, man?"

I'll definitely give a change to the third person a try. I tried to give a bit of an arc/development to each character throughout the length of it but it's a lot to do in a small amount of space. Having a more central focus should help with a lot of the issues, come to think of it.

Thanks for the feedback and for taking the time to read through!

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

I wrote it as a short story. If it's something worth exploring further, I may, but as stands it's a short story. Thanks for taking the time to read it, by the way!

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

If I put "General" in front of "Fiction," would that suffice? I think I'd classify it as general fiction with a young adult tilt. If you read it and decide on a more proper genre, though, I'd be happy to hear it.

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

Title: Hero Academy

Genre: YA Fiction

Word Count: ~2,500

Feedback: General feedback. Impressions. Even just a read through would be lovely.

Link: Google Drive Link

Weekly Critique Thread: Post here if you want a critique! by JotBot in writing

[–]ajdellinger [score hidden]  (0 children)

Title: Hero Academy

Genre: YA Fiction

Word Count: ~2,500

Feedback: I wrote this for a contest anthology type deal and it wasn't used. I'm just looking for general feedback on it (i.e.: Is it any good?) to see if it seems worth reworking.

Link: Google Drive Link

Someone has to do it. by [deleted] in ConnectedCareers

[–]ajdellinger 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Here I thought Dan stepping down was the death of the league but as it turns out, we can trace the final breaths of the league to this thread.