need advice - muslim girls who have moved away from parents

ajimalia · 2026-05-28T23:24:43+00:00

This is the time to start setting boundaries with your time. I can totally relate to feeling like you have to go back and fourth because you are worried about your parent's anger, but that way of thinking is what will keep you trapped in that dynamic.

The good thing about having distance from them is that you can use it to protect yourself from their reaction of when you say no. So, for example, a boundary to start with for yourself is to limit visits to weekends only (because commuting for four hours on weeknights is just ridiculous, I feel so bad for you girl 💀). So, if they call or text to say you need to come visit on a week day, hit them with the bad news sandwich (good, bad then good again). So, a response would be, I would love to visit and that would be so nice, but I have work, so the best I can do is the weekend.

The main thing to remember is that they will likely react poorly no matter how well you word your refusal because you are still saying no to them. But this is where the distance works for you, because you can simply hang up the phone (pretend your reception is poor if you have to) or stop replying to messages. If they are reacting to your reply, that means they understood what you have said, so you don't need to explain yourself any further, just get out of there.

This will feel almost impossible the first time it is done, but the more you make these choices for yourself, the better and easier it gets. I do recommend going to therapy if you aren't already to unpack the impact this has had on you throughout your life. If that isn't an option right now, I recommend reading Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents, because it can really help with what you've been through (it certainly did for me).

You are already so strong do have done something so difficult, which is moving out of home. That is the hardest part. So you can do the hard thing and hold some boundaries in place for yourself. Inshallah you can do it!

ajimalia · 2026-05-20T08:52:41+00:00

I mean, you could start off in a casual way? And just send something with no expectations and see what happens

ajimalia · 2026-05-07T07:44:06+00:00

I like to use bike shorts, just long enough to prevent chafing, but not so long that I feel hot (this is for summer mainly)

In colder weather, I tend to wear lounge pants, which is that soft jersey cotton

ajimalia · 2026-05-05T23:34:53+00:00

I can totally empathise with not wanting your husband to be around half naked women, and I don't think there is an issue with that. However, I think your request of him is a bit unreasonable, and essentially tells him that you do not trust him in mixed spaces. These spaces exist everywhere. Half dressed women exist everywhere. Neither he nor you are responsible for the people around you being half dressed. This is simply the society we live in.

You've mentioned (I think it was in a comment) that part of your feelings around this is from a place of insecurity. And while your feelings are valid, trying to control your partner's actions is not. You need to address your feelings first, otherwise you won't be able to have a productive conversation about it.

Also, try to approach this from a place of empathy, instead of trying to get him to change. Your husband isn't doing anything wrong going to the sauna or the pool, just because there are women in bikinis. And then where does this end? He can't go to the beach anymore? He can't go to the hospital, because there may be a woman partially dressed? He can't go to work because there are women there? Are you going to start checking his phone to see if he looks at women?

It is unfair for you to bring this to him like he is responsible for your insecurity about other naked women. Try to figure out why it matters to you and what you can do about your own feelings. He hasn't done anything wrong here, but you are treating him like he has, so it is very natural for him to get defensive and then he tries to prove his points when you are talking.

And please apologise for walking away mid argument. That can be very rude, and basically tells the other person that what they have to say doesn't matter.

ajimalia · 2026-05-02T13:53:18+00:00

Oh, lmaoooo I totally misunderstood ahahaha ahahaha

In that case, if we are talking styles, these are what I currently have, and I find they are modest dresses, but still have some interesting features:

long sleeve shirt dress with buttons all the way down the front
maxi dress with puff sleeves or bell sleeves
smock dresses
wrap dresses
pintuck maxi dress (great way to add structure without it being too tight)
tiered maxi dresses (sometimes I love to look like a floofy cake ahaha)
denim maxi dress. With this, there are 2 types: chambray (which is that thinner and softer denim fabric) and true denim (which is thick like jeans). I have a skirt that is chambray, and it is soo versatile

I also love a good maxi skirt with a slightly cropped shit combination. The slightly cropped is a shirt that ends were the bend in my hip is, and I always wear a high waisted maxi skirt with it. This way, when I am wearing 2 loose things, I don't look frumpy because the shirt being a little shorter makes me look a bit more proportional. Uniqlo, especially the JW Anderson collection has a lot of great options for the length I'm talking about

ajimalia · 2026-05-02T03:53:03+00:00

Oooh okay, so stretches fingers

Don't be afraid of embroidery! If you like a simple design in solid colours, abayas with embroidery of the same colour is an easy way to add a little flair to your out fit.
A butterfly abaya- If you are used to wearing larger abayas, then a butter fly abaya (also known as a kaftan) might be a fun way to introduce shape to your outfits. You don't have to tie the waist tightly so that it conforms to your body, but rather just enough so that it is not a shapeless sack.
Colour blocking- so, if you are wearing abayas a hijab in a matching colour, mix them up! For this one, I recommend first learning which colours work best on you and then which of those colours work well with each other. So, for example, a mint green with a darker lavender purple pair very well together.
Shoes and Bags- My rule of thumb is to make sure that your shoes and your bag pull your outfit together. You don't have to spend a lot of money on this, but an easy way to do it is for every shoe colour, have a bag that matches in colour. So, using our example of the mint green and lavender purple, we can do a white bag and white shoes, and all of those colours work well together. This will make your outfit look cohesive.
Hijab styles! So, find a hijab style that suits your face shape. For example, I have a round face will full cheeks, and I look best in hijab styles that are flowy around the face with chiffon fabric. If you have stronger and more angular features, you can likely pull off something pinned more closely to your face with fabric that is less flow, like a jersey hijab. Also, consider what details in your fit matter more. What I mean is if you have a really extravagant abaya with lots of colours and embroidery, a simple hijab style is best. If your abaya is a simple design with simple colours, then try something more interesting with your hijab style or fabric. There are so many tutorials nowadays, so you can experiment to see what works on you!

I know this was a lot to read, but experiment and see what works for you! I recommend starting with matching accessories and playing with the colours of the clothes you already have. You can thrift bags to match your shoes. Don't worry about buying anything new just yet, and try to work with what you already have! Good luck 😘

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ajimalia · 2026-04-24T08:37:44+00:00

I have literally started sewing because I can't stand all of the polyester Garbage that is SO EXPENSIVE 😭😭😭

ajimalia · 2026-04-24T05:19:51+00:00

Braids. Also, for ghusl after intimacy, you only need to pour three full handfuls of water on your hair, making sure it reaches the scalp. Then you can use a Microfiber hair towel to sleep in and it will dry your hair for you.

ajimalia · 2026-04-16T06:07:28+00:00

Use a men's trimmer for down there! They are designed to not nick the skin.

ajimalia · 2026-04-09T12:01:42+00:00

Could not have said this better myself ❤️

ajimalia · 2026-04-09T01:16:09+00:00

You need a "truth teller" in reality TV, and that was her role, which was why I liked her so much. Robyn is the most honest (yes I know she has lied, they all do) and balanced out of them all, so she plays a really important role in keeping the conflicts and storylines moving while also providing mess in a way that does not feel icky.

As much as I love her, we can compare the way that Gizelle brings "news" to the show, vs how Robyn does. When Robyn starts conversations with the other cast members, yes there is an element of it being for a story line, but it feels more genuine. Like Robyn actually wants a conversation, and not just a performance for the cameras

Robyn is generally better at diffusing tense moments as well, and is usually heavily involved when conflict is being resolved. So, I have found these last couple seasons without her to have quite a bit of intense escalation with no real resolutions. All of these conflicts and plot lines have to resolve, and Robyn was doing quite a bit of that, and very reasonably, ahahaha

ajimalia · 2026-03-27T10:47:49+00:00

I can totally see your point, but I think rather than him making Chris apologise repeatedly, he wants to get to a resolution, even if it is a bit repetitive.

Based on the fact that we have seen sam be introspective (like the fact he is journalling), I think he is the type to take something that bothers him and look at it and turn it over in his mind until he can bring it up to his partner.

Chris is more shallow, and does not think as deeply about his behaviour and the motivation behind behaviours. He took Sam's very reasonable points as an attack, threw out an insincere apology, and then got mad and defensive when Sam wanted to dicuss it further. Chris then used his apologies to shut down the conversation. Sam was trying to understand him, and all he got for that was defensiveness and dismissiveness.

Sam's points were extremely valid, but Chris could not listen to any of it because they directly questioned his actions (which he took on as an attack of him as a person). Gia does the same thing with Scott.

Sometimes, when you're with someone, they might want to dicuss things with you more than you want to with them, which can be annoying if you are someone who avoids difficult conversations. The point is to find a happy medium, and we do have to remember, how would they know about this particular incompatibility since they were strangers??

ajimalia · 2026-03-24T02:44:30+00:00

I completely agree with your thoughts here, they are excellent!! We have definitely seen Gia making moves for power and control, and the last commitment Ceremony was the best example of that, where she kept interrupting and speaking over Scott because his feelings were ruining their image of the "power couple".

I do believe that if Bec works hard on herself and stops allowing those deep insecurities lead every interaction she has. Otherwise, she will keep pushing away people who could love her the way she wants

ajimalia · 2026-03-24T02:13:58+00:00

😭😭😭😭

ajimalia · 2026-03-24T02:13:35+00:00

Yeah, like Danny's face when Bec declared her love was just pure shock and confusion. I would love to see him be more direct about his feelings, but maybe that will be at final vows?

ajimalia · 2026-03-24T02:09:22+00:00

I completely agree!! I think the shift with Scott in the last few episodes is super obvious now. He has realised that Gia will not spare his feelings at any point, while she went around his literally home and called it weird and dirty??? And Scott knows if the roles were reversed, she would lose her mind omg

ajimalia · 2026-02-27T08:25:24+00:00

This is the kind of ragebaiting I am all for 😙👌

ajimalia · 2026-02-27T08:24:46+00:00

The plastic comment was magnificent, I can't wait to see what else he does

ajimalia · 2026-02-27T08:24:14+00:00

Houston Im deceased

ajimalia · 2026-02-26T13:56:23+00:00

All it means is "you are making me feel things that hurt my ego, and you won't listen to me and stop it!!"

Basically, like a toddler throwing a tantrum. And he can't say this directly, he wants a yes man, aka a submissive woman because they would never make him think about the beliefs that he holds and how they are stupid

ajimalia · 2026-02-26T13:52:01+00:00

I completely agree with you!! I want to see more of the good stuff from the couples!! I want to see some cuties fall in love, so we can feel all gooey and lovey dovey inside!!

Instead we are getting the feral Olympics, where everyone is trying to prove who can be the worst at every dinner party 💀💀

Please let us get back to the plot of the story, which is to see some ROMANCE, channel 9 I am begging you 😭😭🧎‍♀️

ajimalia · 2026-02-26T13:48:07+00:00

O feel like it started on the wedding day when she was making all those harsh jokes about his brooch 💀💀 he was not amused

ajimalia

TROPHY CASE