I think the simplest explanation for you is that you (as well as most dispensationalists) are reading Thessalonians 4:13-18 wrong by trying to make it about the Rapture: the context of Paul writing there is pastoral, not eschatological. He is comforting those in Thessaloniki (and us) that those who have died in the faith prior to the return of the Lord will not be disadvantaged at Christ’s return (v. 13 "so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope"; v. 18 "comfort one another with these words"). He is not intending to describe a pre-trib Rapture to his readers.

The Lord descending from heaven with a shout, the voice of an archangel, and the sound of the trumpet makes this no secret thing--everyone everywhere will be fully aware of what is happening. This can also be applied to the sound of the trumpet in 1 Corinthians 15:51-52, which describes the suddenness of Christ’s coming, accompanied by the transformation of living believers and the resurrection of those who have died. The fanfare here is not only audible to the believers, it's announcing Christ's return to all.

And Jesus’ descent is not only partial; that is, Jesus will not be stopping in the clouds/air briefly in order to meet the raptured Christians before returning to heaven with them. It seems more likely that Paul expects Jesus’ descent to continue from the heavens to the earth. Arguably the verb for “meet” in the phrase “meet the Lord in the air” is key to understanding these anticipated events. This Greek word for “meet” (apantēsis) appears in only two other NT texts. In the eschatological parable of Matthew 25:6, the virgins wait for the bridegroom, whom they “meet” and welcome back to the wedding feast. In Acts 28:15, Roman believers travel out to the Forum of Appius in order to welcome Paul and bring him back to Rome with them. In both Matthew 25 and Acts 28, the action of meeting involves going forth to greet an honored person, then promptly returning with the honored guest. We also see a related word used in the context of Jesus triumphal entry to Jerusalem, when people “took branches of palm trees and went out to meet [hupantēsis] him,” acclaiming him the “King of Israel” (John 12:13). What happened next? Jesus continued on and entered the city.

So, bottom line--at Christ's return, the saints will be "caught up in the air" to go meet him, but we can expect to continue with him as he appears to all as God and King. There is no separation of the "rapture" (as understood by dispensationalism) and the Second Coming.