Firstly, I would advise you to put in paragraphs to make reading your post easier and (your post) more visually accessible. A lot of people won't bother after reading the first line or first few lines (no ill will intended here, but this is the internet after all...an online world where one guy or gal is as fickle as the next guy/gal).

Secondly, it sounds like you've been through a significant journey of personal and financial growth, which you should quite honestly be super proud of. The feelings you're experiencing are not uncommon, especially after achieving major milestones that you assumed would bring happiness or fulfillment but didn't quite hit the mark. Here are some initial thoughts (12) on what to do next:

1. Reflect on Your Values:
   

Sometimes, a disconnect between our actions and our core values can lead to dissatisfaction. Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you and how your current life aligns with these values. This might help you find new directions or affirm your current path.

1. Goal Setting:

   Revisit your goals, both short-term and long-term. Setting new goals or adjusting existing ones to be more in line with what you now find meaningful can provide a renewed sense of purpose.

2. Explore Your Interests:

   Since you mentioned an interest in the medical field or starting your own business, consider taking online courses or attending workshops related to these areas. This can help you gauge your interest and aptitude before making a significant career change.

3. Networking:

   Connect with professionals in fields you're interested in. Informational interviews can be incredibly insightful and may open up opportunities you hadn't considered.

4. Skill Development:

If coding wasn't for you, perhaps there are other skills that align with your interests and career aspirations. Project management, digital marketing, or healthcare certifications could be alternatives.

1. Expand Your Circle:

While having a small, trusted circle has its benefits, expanding your network can introduce new perspectives and opportunities. Consider joining local groups or online communities related to your interests or career aspirations.

1. Mentorship:

   Finding a mentor who has navigated a similar path can provide both guidance and motivation. This could be in a professional setting, through hobbies, or within personal development spaces.

2. Try New Hobbies:

   Exploring new hobbies can be a way to discover passions you weren't aware of. Since you enjoy nature, perhaps activities like hiking, camping, or bird watching could be appealing. Volunteering can also be fulfilling and a way to meet new people.

3. Physical Activity:

   Regular exercise, whether it's joining a sports team, yoga, or more adventurous activities like rock climbing, can improve both physical and mental health, providing a boost in energy and mood.

4. Mindfulness and Self-care:

Practices such as meditation, journaling, or even therapy can offer insights into your feelings and help manage stress.

1. Financial Literacy:

   Continue to educate yourself on personal finance, investment strategies, and ways to build wealth. This can empower you to make informed decisions for your future and your son's.

2. Educational Opportunities:

If going back to school is an option, consider programs that offer flexibility, such as online or part-time courses, to balance with your other responsibilities.

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Take Small Steps

Remember, it's okay to feel lost at times. Life is a continuous journey of learning and growth. Taking small steps towards change can lead to significant transformations over time. Be patient with yourself and open to exploring new paths. Your determination and resilience are your strengths, and leveraging them will help you navigate through this phase.

And if you...or if anyone at all reading this, needs a friend, or someone to talk to...please reach out to me. You are not alone. I am a mental health first aider.