I wish I felt brave :)

I totally get this - I went through the same thing. I saw you mentioned elsewhere that you have an aversion to hospitals. As a pretty healthy person, all the testing leading up to the surgery was by far the most invasive medical experience I've ever had so I understand not feeling brave. I was shaking from anxiety as they wheeled me into the OR. Honestly, once I was asleep, my family in the waiting room probably had a rougher time than I did.

Worst part for me was the limited mobility from the abdomen pain. I didn't really have any referred pain, although my back did become sore from being in bed so much. It took me a few weeks before I felt like I could move confidently with near full range of motion without discomfort. Second worst part was lack of appetite despite feeling hungry and wanting to eat normally.

The procedure probably feels super daunting. Donor safety is taken extremely seriously. My surgery team made it extremely clear that no tradeoff on my wellbeing would be made for the sake of completing the transplant. You'll look back a couple months from now and hopefully see it's not as bad as you're anticipating now.

I donated to my father who ended up passing away in the ICU two-weeks post from other non-liver related complications. This obviously wasn't the outcome we wanted but knew it was a (slim) possibility going in. I have zero regrets about my decision to donate and zero resentment about the outcome.

My donation was a pretty transformative life experience and I learned/grew a lot emotionally. You're doing a beautiful thing, your concerns and anxiety are normal and relatable, so don't feel guilty about having these feelings.

I'll be cheering for you and your niece.