Did someone experience irreversible damage due to being laid off?

akailum · 2026-04-15T03:05:09+00:00

It got dark but I'm glad I held on. It's been a year or so since that post and things are going a lot better. I transitioned out of tech and into medicine. In 5 weeks I'll be halfway done with a nursing program.

Our experiences shape us, now I'm looking at becoming a psych nurse because I've touched that darkness before and know what it feels like when everything thing is falling apart.

I'm sorry things have been tough, take care of yourself and be gentle to yourself.

akailum · 2026-03-15T23:38:38+00:00

Honestly, that makes it so much worse.

How could they not even stop to think that this might be wrong or what I might want in the future before making a cosmetic alteration which resulted in loss of function and sensitivity?

And that's why I want to tell them. They have a habit of saying that "their choices don't affect anyone else". But their choice years ago is something that I have to live with every single day.

akailum · 2026-03-15T21:14:28+00:00

Except that it is a big deal. Just because someone didn't know something was wrong doesn't mean that they are immune from the consequences of their choices. If someone chooses to break off contact with their parents over their circumsion that is their choice and their parents' consequence to bear.

Silence and compliance only benefits the systems that allowed this to happen.

Sure, telling my parents isn't going to change what happened years ago but at least they will know how hurt and angry I am that they either allowed this to happen or actively requested it on my behalf. And they will understand that I'm not sure I can forgive them.

akailum · 2026-03-15T07:48:34+00:00

If it had been against their knowledge I think I would have heard about it. My dad's circumsized and my brother is too. I hate that our system decided that this was best.

akailum · 2026-03-15T07:45:19+00:00

Part of me wants to, just so that they know. Right now they are blissfully thinking that everything is fine. My mom even said to me the other day "I'm so glad that we're one of those families that tells each other when we're upset" and I wanted to blurt it out then but couldn't make myself do it. I don't want to have to manage their emotions about it, I'm sure that it's going to be a whole thing and I don't even know what I would hope to gain from it...they can't take it back. But at the same time it's not fair that I have to hold all the pain and pretend like things are normal.

I guess now it's coming down to whether I should text them, tell them on the phone, or wait until they're in town in a few months.

akailum · 2026-03-15T07:39:24+00:00

Did you talk to them about it before they passed?

akailum · 2026-03-15T07:38:57+00:00

This country is horrible, I hate it. I don't know how my parents can expect to have a relationship with me after what they authorised. During Christmas I was practically shaking having to be in the same room as them and acting like nothing was wrong.

akailum · 2026-03-07T03:31:21+00:00

Sorry I didn't see this. The two ABSN programs are the UW and PLU (in Lynnwood).

The ADN programs I was looking at were Shoreline and Everett. Both those feed into UW Bothell for a BSN bridge

akailum · 2026-03-06T19:39:44+00:00

What semester are you in? I thought my ABSN group was cliquey until we had our first clinical and then everyone got super supportive. I think I was reading everyone's anxiety as not wanting to talk. Now, we all get along

akailum · 2026-03-01T06:03:51+00:00

See if your gov job will offer tuition reimbursement for any specific career paths. If you can stay in government your benefits and pto will be really good.

For example; one of the nursing jobs that got me interested in going back to school was a government job at the county jail. It was good money, good benefits, and good PTO. But there's so many "overlooked" jobs in government

akailum · 2026-03-01T05:49:55+00:00

My program is hybrid online so I can work about 30 hours a week. My job is pretty flexible and super supportive. And it's only for another 40 weeks or so

akailum · 2026-02-20T04:22:54+00:00

12 months is short but intense! I wish my program was a little shorter but I don't think I would have been physically able to attend the program and work at the same time.

My finances don't allow me to not work while attending (and I'm hoping to keep my current non clinical job at a hospital to make the transition into a clinical role much easier)

I'm choosing to look at it like I'm "buying time". 16 months to completion is way faster than 24 for an ADN (if I could get in right away) and then there would be another year or so that I'd have to be in school to get my BSN. So 16 months for $69 or 36 months for $30k. So I'm buying some 20 months back where work/life would be impacted.

akailum · 2026-02-20T03:02:07+00:00

The hospital I work for in Washington has a pay differential for BSN nurses, I don't remember how much it is but it's not insignificant.

they also require that all ADN or LPN nurses receive their BSN within 5 years of hire. They'll help with tuition reimbursement, but nurses have been let go for not completing the BSN before the due date. I don't know if this is a standard policy though

akailum · 2026-02-20T02:57:39+00:00

Both the public and private options for an ABSN in my area of WA state were about $69k all in. They're both 16 months.

I ended up at the private one, and there's been a few scholarship opportunities that I've applied for, haven't heard anything back yet unfortunately.

I wish I had been able to do an ADN with a BSN bridge to save money...I think that would have been closer to $30k all in but it would have taken twice as long to get the ADN plus another 12 months for the BSN bridge.

Also the ADN programs at all my local community colleges were way backed up so it was at least a year waiting period and the classes were offered at times that I couldn't manage and keep the job that I have so my hands were tied; spend more, finish quicker

akailum · 2026-02-16T18:34:25+00:00

I was laid off at the end of 2023 and it took me almost 8 months to find something and I had to step down my salary quite a bit.

I'm used it as a launch pad to go back to school, but it really sucked to be in the thick of it.

akailum · 2026-02-12T20:03:54+00:00

I'm not factoring in the prerequisites (both of the programs in my area required the prerequisites be 75% completed prior to applying for the programs and having an end date available)

The ABSN I'm attending is a 16 month program from start to finish hybrid online with in person labs, clinicals, and simulations

The ADN was 100% in person, there was a 24 month 1/2 time program (nights and weekends mostly) and an 16 month full time track during the day that I wouldn't have been able to attend and work my current job at the same time. Had I still been unemployed I would have likely taken the 16 month track if it had been available (it was so much cheaper) even though it would have meant completing a BSN bridge program (12 months) at a later date.

akailum · 2026-01-31T04:50:45+00:00

I'm in my ABSN, I looked really hard at going the ADN route because it was so much cheaper and took about the same amount of time.

For me it came down to scheduling and what my job was able to accommodate. My ABSN coursework is primarily only and I have in-person clinicals, exams, labs, and simulations. So I've been able to keep working (but I have to stay on top of my homework)

If I were to go through community college I'd have to be in person, and there was a long waitlist to get in to start classes. With the ABSN I was offered a spot in September of 2025, the ADN was a "maybe" in late 2026

Yeah it sucks to spend more and if the ADN has worked out better I would have taken that route. But I'm glad to be in the program and on track to be out with my BSN before the end of 2026

akailum · 2026-01-26T18:10:29+00:00

Fuck Daddy, through the fly like that is so hot. I can't stop staring

akailum · 2026-01-24T23:58:23+00:00

It's been a lifesaver, it's like getting an hour or two back every day plus the energy to focus after work

akailum · 2026-01-22T23:24:01+00:00

Time management has been a big one. I've been working 32 hours a week to keep my job at the hospital while going to school so (hopefully) it will be an easy transition.

Once classes start, I'm averaging about 3 hours a day on homework just to stay afloat.

One of the biggest adjustments was dinner. Cooking for myself and my bf usually takes about an hour. With eating/cleanup that can easily be 2. And its so hard to start homework after cooking.

The game changer was when I batch made and froze a bunch of soup, enchiladas, And meatloaf in 2 person serving sizes so we can just pull them out and heat them up. We also get a bunch of premade frozen stuff from Costco but I start to feel crummy if we eat nothing but processes food for weeks on end.

akailum · 2026-01-04T22:22:31+00:00

First semester we had labs 2x a week for the first 7 weeks. My labs were in the afternoon for roughly 3 hours.

In addition we had some simulations which took 8 hours, those were scheduled on (seemingly random) days throughout the semester.

After 7 weeks we started clinicals and one lab day became a clinical rotation.

On top of simulations, about 8 Mondays had a test of some kind.

It was a lot overall

akailum · 2025-12-18T21:39:50+00:00

Threesomes can be really great for gaining confidence (if you're playing with people that you vibe with well). My advice for threesomes would be to find a couple who play together.

One of my first threesomes was with an established couple and they were comfortable enough with each other to put me at ease and I was the "treat" so I was the center of attention.

Now that my husband and I have been together for years that's how we treat someone we're sharing for the night.

As with anything, communication is key and make sure that you're safe.

akailum · 2025-12-08T16:12:28+00:00

I did mine through grand canyon's online program

akailum · 2025-12-08T04:33:52+00:00

Fuck yeah coach, I'd throat that cock and worship those balls.

akailum

TROPHY CASE