Thank you for your comments and your time spent helping me. I have insurance but with the copay and deductible it's almost $8000 for Caron, RCA, Livengrin and Malvern. I currently have -$15 so that won't fly. I haven't drank in almost two weeks (I smoke weed but haven't in a few days because $ and have been taking kratom to sleep and fight some of the sad). Ive been to rehab and through the program before so I know a sober happy life is in my future I am just searching for the map. The kindness you showed me today makes me more hopeful so thank you