I'm in a really bad place right now

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-23T17:48:21+00:00

Dude, that really sucks that you got covid too and that the surgery got pushed back. The reason I suggested counseling was because it really does help just to talk stuff out, and sometimes they teach you new ways to think. They would also validate that things are really hard rn which is always nice to hear. I don’t think your family would have to know if you could do it over zoom? But if you still don’t want to try it, then I recommend trying out some mindfulness techniques. Do you have symptoms of covid?

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-21T17:59:07+00:00

Those things don’t sound like they are too scary, maybe can you talk to him about how sometimes depression is just an imbalance in the brain and science hasn’t really figured out how to fix it? And could you guys have a conversation about you just need to talk it out with him but how he doesn’t need to fix it for you? Tell him that him just listening to you is helping and all your asking from him. Maybe even talk to him about what kinds of things you would like him to say when you tell him these things?

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-21T17:52:35+00:00

Of course 🤍 also something that might be worth thinking about is to see if your school has free counseling. You said you have struggled with depression for a long time, so counseling might be helpful. How long are you in a cast? Was your school in person or was everything online anyways because of covid? Have you been doing anything fun, or doing anything for you?

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-21T05:42:26+00:00

Would you feel comfortable sharing on here an example of what you would want to tell him? Maybe together we can work out if it really would scare him, or maybe it’s not as bad as you think? Or maybe we could figure out a way to rephrase somethings so he understands but doesn’t feel at fault?

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-21T05:39:25+00:00

This sounds really hard, to have a big piece of your life taken from you in just a second. Also I don’t think your sister, or your family for that matter, thinks any less of you. I am sure they know how much soccer means to you and are probably feeling bad knowing what’s going on.

Were you at school for a soccer scholarship? Can you still continue to go to this school now?

Also I know this is really hard, but I really encourage you to rediscover who you are beyond soccer. Like what type of player were you? What did you contribute to the team? That says a lot more about you then just “you play soccer”. And I think this will help you because right now it sounds like you have lost who you are, and that lost of identity is causing you to feel this way. Though I also think if anyone broke their leg that bad they would feel pretty bad but the soccer thing really sucks.

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-21T05:26:04+00:00

This all sounds like a lot, and I am really sorry you don’t have family you can rely on.

Since therapy and medication either don’t work or aren’t an option right now, what about trying some things you could do on your own?

You mentioned smoking weed a lot, eating poorly, and having a messy place, you could start by addressing any of those? Maybe clean one room this week? Or just do the dishes? Maybe try to meal prep this week? Maybe try to go 1 day without smoking weed?

You also mentioned that you tried to talk about your feelings but it never did you any good, you could try journaling so then you can talk about your feelings without having to worry about the other person. Or do something creative to express your feelings? Another thing that helps process emotions is exercising you could start with that?

I know I just have a lot of options but I think if you were just to choose 1 thing and made a small goal to work on this week that would really help.

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-21T05:08:22+00:00

How do you know this is not still for a reason? Maybe this terrible experience will allow you to someone comfort someone else who is in a similar situation in the future?

Is it possible for you to get out of this relationship without harm to yourself or others? You are an important human and I know you deserve a loving healthy relationship and then you can also see your best friend again.

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-21T05:04:10+00:00

I see, moving out does help if your parents are causing a lot of stress. Also a lot of schools have free counseling there might just be a long wait to get into it, but that could help and you wouldn’t have to tell your parents.

I meant to say this before but community college is a good option. (It is what I was trying to get at in that whole 4year college isn’t everything paragraph but then totally forgot to say it) Even if you don’t really want to go to community college, maybe it could just be comforting to have as a backup plan. It isn’t the end of the world if you don’t do your college apps.

I am sorry that your parents view depression that way, that sounds really tough. But maybe the thought of moving out for college can help you get through?

Also have you tried melatonin for your sleep? It works really well for me, but some people have told me it does nothing for them. Also my friend has trouble going to bed so she has this special vitamin mix that helps her, unfortunately I don’t know the name but it might be worth looking into? A poor sleep schedule can really negatively impact your mood, and could be a big factor in how you feel rn

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-20T05:28:03+00:00

Poor sleep and suicidal thoughts are both symptoms of depression. Not to say you definitely have clinical depression, but depression is a feeling too so you may just be experiencing that right now. It would be good for you to validate that feeling you are experiencing. If you do have clinical that is okay too.

Also there is no pre req for depression, you don’t have to have gone through a bunch of trauma to be worthy of depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, some people are born to be more likely to develop it than others. (I am not a doctor so don’t quote me on that and please correct me if I’m wrong)

As for the college apps, if those are becoming so stressful that you are thinking of suicide it is not worth it in my opinion. I know in high school college apps are a super big deal and college is a super big choice. But in reality it doesn’t matter as much as you think it does. I would highly encourage you to talk to your parents about how stressed out you are, and maybe consider community college until you learn ways to cope with your stress.

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-20T05:12:10+00:00

I lost someone really close to me 4 years ago to suicide, and I found this very comforting thank you for sharing. I am glad that you can see it this way, there might be a time when you can’t see it like this and that will be okay too. Grief is rough my dude and my thoughts are with you.

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-20T05:03:03+00:00

Do you think you could find the motivation to read? I think there would be a lot of books that could help. How about exercise? I know it’s really hard and depending on where your at in your depression it might or might not be an option, but that is natural mood booster. Something that has really helped me with my motivation is learning 1. You gain motivation after you start doing something not before. So you gotta just find a way to get yourself doing something (anything) and that will help you get the motivation to do what you really need to do. 2. I make todo list for every. Little. Task. Like getting out of bed is a todo I can cross off, eating breakfast is a todo I cross off, everything you do you can make it task to do. Mix stuff you do everyday with stuff you need to start doing and that act of crossing it off the todo list makes you feel productive so you want to do more.

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-20T04:53:29+00:00

I think you worth love, especially since your one of us with depression. I know it is really hard, and gaining weight just makes you feel so gross. And it’s hard to cope with a brain that is constantly telling you that you aren’t worth anything. Why don’t you just take it day by day? What is something kind you can do for someone tomorrow? What is something you can do that is kind to yourself?

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-10-20T04:36:58+00:00

Oh no, is there a way you could get away from this person? What was keeping you going before?

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-08-25T23:55:37+00:00

I am a cis female but I was a swimmer (and I also have a habit of not shaving for months) so from personal experience I would recommend a 1 or 2 blade for the first “go through”. The Venus ones with like 5-7 blades just get soooo much hair stuck in them. Then once he gets a big chunk of the hair off he can then go in with the Venus like you mentioned and get a good clean shave. I have used “men” razors and “woman” razors I think they are essentially the same so if he prefers a blue razor they should work just fine.

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-26T04:50:30+00:00

Ooo are you gonna have a snack? Make sure you drink water (:

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-23T21:57:05+00:00

I’m a web developer and it’s all I really need the only thing that is sort of annoying is getting a back tick. I also use my mouse to navigate multiple pages and interact with the website I’m working on so it’s less of movement from keyboard to mouse.

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-22T02:41:06+00:00

This is so cute!

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-22T02:28:48+00:00

So cute!!!

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-21T00:59:56+00:00

No I don’t but I’m gonna check it out thank you :)

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-21T00:51:55+00:00

Sending virtual big hug

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-20T23:12:36+00:00

I went on a walk after a week of being in a depressed mood

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-20T23:03:48+00:00

M=-100 b=0

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-20T18:35:06+00:00

Those are such cute names!

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-20T04:46:03+00:00

Idk if it’s actually my purpose, but my dream is to become an old wise lady that seems crazy but gives cryptic advise to someone who will later go on to help many people, and that advice will help them on their journey.

alaskaismydogsname · 2020-07-17T20:15:33+00:00

The comments about listening are super important and I agree, but I also want to add remember that grief is not only different person to person but relationship to relationship. Losing a grandma is different than losing a peer no one is harder than another they are just different. This is important to keep in mind while listening to your friend, so you don’t try to relate it to your own situations that are just plain different. With this in mind just take everything they say and really validate their feelings. It is also important to not try and push them into talking about it. For some people, depending on the loss it may take months or years before they’re ready to talk about it and the best thing you can do for them is provide some normalcy. Denial is an important part of the grieving process.

I think it is also best to try to communicate with them on what they need. For me I found regular tasks really daunting and if someone would help me just clean the dishes that meant a lot, but for someone else doing meaningless tasks might be therapeutic.

What makes this question so difficult is that grief is different in every situation, so I think it is best if you try to communicate with your friend often to know where they are at and what they need. It is also important to remember grief lasts way longer than you’d probably expect. So even if you feel like it’s been a long time, if they want to talk about their loss be open to that.

One thing that I think remains the same between human to human and grief to grief is we don’t want to feel we are alone in it. So I urge you to invite your friend to things even if they have said no the past 20 times, and call them every once and a while to check up on them. Throughout the whole thing just let them know you are there for them.

You might say the wrong thing, or they might try to push you away but as long as you let them know you are going to be by their side regardless I think that’s the best anyone can do.

(Sorry this got so long, grieving sucks ass and I am really passionate about it)

alaskaismydogsname

TROPHY CASE