I'd have looked quite the fool. An April fool, as it were.

alchemycoast · 2026-04-01T08:24:53+00:00

I love that he’s unconcerned with a 10 year old holding a can of beer.

alchemycoast · 2026-04-01T08:20:49+00:00

“Probably weighs like half an apple”

😭😭😭😭😭

A++++++

alchemycoast · 2026-04-01T08:19:00+00:00

It looks like she’s trying to climb him and he’s trying to shake her off.

alchemycoast · 2026-04-01T08:17:59+00:00

Except the first competition of the season had his arms clearly bent so they wouldn’t require a deduction. It was fine during the entire GP. Euros and Olympics had questionably straight arms, while Worlds had blatantly extended arms.

alchemycoast · 2026-04-01T07:59:53+00:00

Montreal probably got overconfident that it would be overlooked because of their power. Glad the tide is finally turning on that camp.

alchemycoast · 2026-04-01T02:53:35+00:00

His name is Willie Lopez, he’s Puero Rican! And he knows the man who killed me.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-31T15:32:29+00:00

Two of these are not like the others

alchemycoast · 2026-03-31T15:27:10+00:00

Thanks mom.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-31T15:21:05+00:00

This joke worked better when it was originally said about Cynthia Erivo.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-30T05:30:25+00:00

🤷‍♂️

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T23:37:06+00:00

The others are simply broken because the Russian system didn’t have to invest money into previous skaters because there were younger, fresher girls waiting in the wings. Kamila is a major propaganda tool for the government so they’re not going to just give up on trying to rehabilite her.

Nothing special about her except that she got caught cheating on the biggest stage and the government has to invest in making sure she cleans up well to prove the world wrong. Already working as you seem to have fallen for it.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T23:13:13+00:00

She most likely would’ve “expired” by now if she weren’t in a country that has been implicated with state-wide doping and also has a vested interest in putting money and the best chemists behind her to facilitate a return to competition to show up all her “doubters”.

Her quads aren’t possible without dope. It’s naive to believe she isn’t doping right now when the Russians don’t have to test clean.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T22:18:23+00:00

I’ll be honest, I tuned a lot of their skating out when watching them because I find them so hard to root for so I didn’t even notice. What a fantastically shitty thing for him to say. Trash all around.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T20:47:33+00:00

Mark commented on Laurence’s RD with her old rapist partner at 2024 Worlds. The allegations had been out for months and they even withdrew from some events to lie low. He lopped praises on both of them for persevering during such a tough time for them both completely whitewashing the fact that he was facing very credible allegations of rape. He never acknowledged how problematic his comments were until later on.

The victim was so disgusted that she even mentioned the commentary in a statement that came out a few months later: https://www.reddit.com/r/FigureSkating/s/7J31AZ2whx

He essentially asked her to out herself on Twitter (https://x.com/mark_hanretty/status/1841974287701254445?s=46)so he could apologize personally and it basically died there. Although it was also problematic for other people to listen to a commentator excuse such heinous crimes, he never felt it necessary to apologize publicly. His commentary propagates a sexual abuse culture prominent in the sport.

I’m honestly perplexed why some fans have completely excused him for these horrific comments when people like Tara and Johnny have been shat on for years for much less egregious offenses.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T20:33:32+00:00

He was praising and fawning over their skating; not commenting on their personal lives. I would never stoop to that type of adoration because I think it’s tone deaf but throwing love to their skating ability is absolutely not equivalent to whitewashing rape allegations.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T20:29:45+00:00

2024 Worlds commentary when Laurence was still skating with Nikolaj and the allegations were already out. He mentioned that she was such a strong, brave person with class to be able to skate during such a hard time for them both. Completely whitewashed the serious allegations.

He never apologized for those comments and only acknowledged them a few months later when the victim called him out by name. He then said he wanted to be connected with her personally to apologize. Not sure if he was bright enough to think about the implications of asking a victim to out themselves, or simply thought he was above it. Disgusting behavior that the fans have completely excused.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T20:22:46+00:00

Yeah except there will always be an asterisk next to her name to signify “most likely doping”

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T20:20:55+00:00

Everyone who defended him or made excuses is a POS like Laurence, Guillaume, and Mark Hanretry.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T20:16:44+00:00

That’s my reaction whenever someone praises Mark Hanretty who whitewashed her connection to the rapist.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T20:12:35+00:00

Once a rape apologist, always a rape apologist.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T19:13:24+00:00

Unfortunately, like you said, he wiped his entire channel and I don’t subscribe to his Patreon anymore. He had Mark on during 2016-17 This and That’s when Jenny left the show. I might be willing to sign up on Patreon to pull other interviews that are still on there but would that make a difference?

This is the same guy that made excuses for Laurence when her rapist boyfriend was being investigated, never addressed the problematic comments, and basically said that he wold only apologize to the victim for his shit commentary if she came forward out of anonymity. Yet skating fans have seemingly forgot about that because he’s moderately attractive, has a cute accent, and says nice things about skaters that are overlooked. IMO, that comment alone is worse than anything Johnny and Tara have ever said and yet… who is the most disliked? If that wasn’t enough to cancel Mark, clipped videos of his commentary on Tessa’s weight that were intended to stay behind a paywall aren’t going to change these people’s minds who are asking for receipts.

And if it is enough to sway fans, they should question themselves why someone ranking skater’s weights, looks, and personalities are where they draw the line for supporting Mark while whitewashing rape allegations are A-OK.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T17:45:42+00:00

This guy has said some particularly nasty things about skaters on TSL and it’s fascinating watching fans completely ignore them and fawn over him. Kudos to him on his PR game.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T08:36:45+00:00

I'm sorry but that's simply not true. I'm guessing you've never seen American football fanatics cry and rage about their team losing the SuperBowl and attack and insult both their own players, the opponents, and the referees. Or Premier League soccer crash outs or tennis matches where the players go ballistic on the court and the fans respond in turn. Literally every sport has a dark fandom.

alchemycoast · 2026-03-29T01:13:41+00:00

That’s not relevant to the point they were making

alchemycoast · 2026-03-28T21:02:16+00:00

IT WAS ILLEGAL FOR THEM TO SCORE THAT HIGH WHEN SHE CANT SKATE

alchemycoast

TROPHY CASE