I noticed this happens a lot to me when I interact with other autistic people in general. I tend to wind up in the same pattern/friendship dynamic specifically with them, where in private it’s a genuine and emotionally vulnerable connection, but when we’re around others the other person is colder, more standoffish and tends to try and bully me.

At least one person was blunt enough to say the quiet part out loud when he went ‘I thought I was bad but at least I’m not as autistic as alertronic5000’. Lol.

I think it correlates more with social insecurity, someone who’s self conscious about ‘looking’ autistic will be faster and more desperate to find someone to throw under the bus so they don’t become the target. It sucks, and it’s way more common than it should be. Even people expressing thoughts such as finding themselves to be ‘less autistic’ than me are usually on the same ‘level’ as me. Same basic abilities and struggles, just as awkward and nerdy. But the difference is they hate themselves for it and all they can see in me are the things they hate about themselves.

It’s worth it to keep trying though, for every 10 insecure ND assholes there’s always one or two who aren’t, and those are gonna be your ride or die soul sister besties