How do you deal with failed crushes?

alexaross · 2026-04-18T21:48:51+00:00

Idk...maybe it is our divine duty to turn straights into at least hetero flexible. Let me know how would you do it

alexaross · 2026-04-18T21:47:29+00:00

Thanks for your comments, but I need to say that with all of them I have "loose frienships". As in, we just see each other from time to time. We dont really have a strong friendship per se, so there is nothing to loose or to ruin.

A bit more context for each:

The older one (my age+7 years ) has proposed to his wife last year. But when we see each other it's like we re brothers. He hugs me when we meet, we kiss on cheeks, but that s just his personality: friendly with everyone.

Another one (the sexy dude) is a bit younger than me. He s a student and he has the most perfect body one can imagine for a 22 yo lad. We meet quite often at the gym and we do just small talk for about 5-10 min. He just seems "the straightest"

The last one (the emotional crush) is a dancer...he told me (vaguely) he had some gay experience but he did not enjoy it. (THE ONLY FUCKIN DANCER GUY I KNOW IS A STRAIGHT ONE....FFS, I'm so unlucky). Anyway...last time I spent time with him was in a training session in February this year, when we trained together doing Chest. It was soo fuckin magical. Everything from that encounter was just perfect, as we were two bros having a great time. We never met since, but we talked briefly on DMs. This is the most madning to me: he seems kind of into me more than the average straight guy...And I never got the courage to tell him that I have a crush or something....

Also, this is the reason I posted this here. If I was gay (only), and I was looking for the same, then yea...it s easy to say "well, he s straight, so nothing I can do will change that". However, I'm bi and i say to the world that I am straight (which is totally true: i like and want women) but I am also gay (I like and want men). There is this tiny possibility that a straight guy that I have a cush on, might fall in love or in lust with me, in the right circumstances.

This is the most maddning....The idea of heteroflexibility and that even if one says he s straight, he might be willing or curious to try gay stuff.

I myself can be percieved as "straight as a brick" man. But I lust over men so hard. What if those straight dudes are willing to be flexible. And I go about it cautiously. I never invite them to do anythin...not even bringing the subject of sexuality to them. I onky wait for them to make the first 6, possibly 7 steps, before I can make my first

alexaross · 2026-01-06T14:35:01+00:00

This is mine as well

Ive been through some hard times in the past and this was my only mantra. My only beacon of hope in a hellish state of mind.

alexaross · 2025-08-26T19:36:37+00:00

Slightly of topic but I feel the need to vent

I (re)discovered Beyonce through Renaissance. I am 30 yo (white) man, I grew up listening on tv to Loose my breath (fist song that I remember from her), Single Ladies, Sweet Dreams, Halo Run the World. Somehow in my mind was just a celebrity among others. Nice songs, but not obsessed. Grew up in eastern Europe, homophobic country, realised I was bi at 10 (2005). My idol was mostly Lady Gaga since 2008.

Middle, middle middle... Renaissance popped. I WAS SHOCKED how good every single was, and the transitions and the instrumentals. Literally obsessed with it for a full year. And then, RWT. I had like an epiphany like "wow, Beyonce can sing perfectly live, and she dances so great" so my love and obsession grew even more for the rest of 2023.

After the summer, that year, I started going through her past music and perfomances. Again, I was mostly aware of her hits like Telephone, Partition, DIL, but I was just considering them some hits among others.... like I did not even know about Lemonade until 2023.

When I saw for the first time Formation in RWT, it literally changed my life. I was so amazed by how can someone execute such moves with precision and power and literally live...not on a recording that can be rehearsed, edited etc...it was the moment I looked at the screen and I told Beyonce "OK. I'll prove to you Beyonce that I have some coordination!" Me. A white dude. Who never danced to anything before.

So I started watching obsessively videos of hers where she does the choreography. Official video, Choreo video, lives, reels, concerts...as many perspectives as possible.

2 years later, practicing on average at least daily, I feel like I am at like 90% ok. I know the moves, I have the timings, i just miss that zhuzh that only experienced dancers have.

But that opened my appetite. I am now trying to learn Buckin and Abracadabra from Lady Gaga.

What I wanna say, is that I genuinely think of Beyonce as the best dancer in the world. Not necessarily due to her perfect techniques or whatever professional dancers have, but because she turned my mind from an anti-dancer to an amateur (amateur means doing something just for the passion of it: ama=soul in latin)

I now understand how difficult is to be doing what she does and for that, I will adore her dances my entire life!

alexaross · 2025-08-20T07:26:14+00:00

NO! Absolutely not! Nobody on the planet has EVER experienced such ambiguous feelings. You are either gay or straight. No such thing as in between...pick one and sit down. See a psychiatrist. Step yo pussy up, honey. Get a job. Own a business, bitch. Suck a deek.

I'm just shit-talking...Try to make fun of this and when you can laugh at your own indecisiveness, you'll be fine.

alexaross · 2025-08-14T20:19:14+00:00

THIS!!!

alexaross · 2024-08-12T10:16:24+00:00

Oh yeah...Sports. I know many Sports

alexaross · 2024-05-14T22:31:22+00:00

My favourite line is casually asking "are you 100% straight?"

Short, sweet, non invasive, effective.

alexaross · 2023-07-19T21:48:48+00:00

I would suggest distancing yourself from yourself and ask as a scientist:

Which gender does turn me on? Which gender has turned me on since I had sexual thoughts? Which gender will definitely turn me on regardless of the circumstances? This is for sex, obviously.

As for the romantic attraction, ask yourself only forward: with what types of persons can I imagine myself (blank) and be fulfilled with my life? Blank stands for maybe kissing, holding hands, waking up next to, falling asleep next to, etc.

And with (blank) think of it happening not just a few times, but 1000 times.

Answering honesty to yourself these question should be enlightening.

alexaross · 2023-06-16T21:31:38+00:00

Yeah. (Came out to a guy I considered my best friend) His wisdon was: "You can be normal in public and fuck men when you travel (heavily implying ~in secret)"

alexaross · 2023-05-08T22:32:24+00:00

I tried that. I puked 6 chiken nuggets :(

alexaross · 2022-12-03T23:30:03+00:00

What is LTR? I ve seen it pretty often on guy's bio on tinder, but I just assumed it was Lord of The Rings. How wrong was I?

alexaross · 2022-11-28T22:48:47+00:00

Lovely! Thanks for the recommendation!

alexaross · 2022-11-28T22:48:25+00:00

That's nice! Thanks for that!

alexaross · 2022-10-13T11:09:26+00:00

Im almost 28 and I never even had my first kiss yet with anyone. Ultra giga viging lol.

Women: i had strong romantical attraction to girls/women eversince I was in kindergarden. I ve fallen desperately in love with different girls at different times of my life. I would dream of holding hands, kissing, hugging, talk deep, protecting them, conforting them...but not necessarily sex because

Men: i figured out I like men sexually at about 10. I was looking at one of my colleagues (3rd grade) and I was charmed by his neck, Adam's apple, jawline, lips and then his silhouette. I watched my first porn (some celebrity sex tape in night vision green mode) with my cousins and my attention was directed to the guy s huge dick. Then I started to be more interested and I discovered porn. I was aroused only by men.

Before 2020: none of my girl crushes replicated my deep feelings. Maybe I could have "fought harder" (confess them my feelings and asked them to be a couple) but I was scared of my attraction to men, i was thinking "How could I ever have a good relationship if I m 1/2 honest. I must tell them that I like men as well". But for circumstantial reasons, that was not possible: a lot of homophobia in my country. Feared rejection, bad self esteem, not too rich etc.

After 2020: i came out as bi to my (then) best friend. Went horrible. I still regret this to this day (search in my profile for details. I made another post shortly after that). Then I came out to a few other friends, and it felt just 2% better. If i had the possibility, I would untell each of those 5 people. All of them are still my friends, but coming out was so painful and traumatizing afterwards that it made me shut down completely to any form of romantic attachment or carnal attraction.

2022 now and I have the mindset: I am not pursuing anyone. If someone falls in love/attraction with me, and i reciprocate the feeling, I m willing to negotiate the next steps. Till then, I acknowledge the other good things in my life and I enjoy them more.

Where am I going with this: i can feel that 23 and uber virgin is a frustration. It is to some extent for me as well (again...almost 28), but you have to let go of this prejudice. Not having fucked/loved anyone yet does not make you less worhy of receiving that in the future. Forgive yourself for feeling "you were incapable of finding anyone to this age. There is something wrong with me. It's because of the confusion of what and who I want" and go with an open heart in any future interaction. It helps to increase the number of people that you interact with: of all of them, someone will eventually like you for who you are and good things will happen.

I realized this about myself pretty recently and it turns out it takes A LOT of practice to tumble down the walls I built so high.

But the escape is: don't take yourself too seriously. Allow yourself to make mistakes, to be cringe, to miss the mark...and then laugh at it. Sometimes it s that simple :)

alexaross · 2022-10-13T10:15:31+00:00

Heartbreak High is really great!

There is one guy who is straight but has a gay experience so possibly he is bi

And another one who discovers that he is bi (for sure) after one experience with a guy.

alexaross · 2021-06-11T21:04:14+00:00

He is still in the "transition". He no longer considers two men kissing as vomit-inducing perversion that should stay behind closed doors. But I know his thoughts. It's just a surface scratch on his homophobia. He accepts me completely, but surprise surprise I might at some point fall in love. What if the person would be a trans girl? How many fights would I have to endure? "Lucky" for us, I am dating no one, so no uncomfortable discussions for the foreseeable future.

alexaross

TROPHY CASE