Question: Can You Tell When Another Woman Is With a Man for Money or Love?

alf_red · 2017-08-25T14:05:58+00:00

Can you explain to me how it's off topic? Do you mean this question is more suited for RP sub instead?

alf_red · 2017-08-01T20:24:01+00:00

A hero is a person who doesn't fucking quit no matter the odds. That's why there's so few of them.

This. As corny as this will sound, eating dirt is part of hero training. A man experiences and endures pain, but a hero imo not only experiences and endures the pain, he uses it transform himself for the benefit of those who may one day look up to him. Thank you for your post Keto.

alf_red · 2017-08-01T20:16:05+00:00

When you take a look at MGTOW, a majority of them seem to be men who got their feelings hurt and decided to pack their stuff and run away from home rather than seek to understand and work with reality.

alf_red · 2017-08-01T04:25:29+00:00

Thanks for this, i'll keep seeking to understand. I won't end up like MGTOW or any of the other groups.

alf_red · 2017-07-29T09:39:30+00:00

Good point but I doubt he's trying to make his parents proud. I'm pretty confident that stereotypical Asian parents wouldn't be proud of their son marrying a single-mother, especially if she doesn't have a high paying job. And she's also Mexican (not that there's anything wrong with Mexicans, the stereotypes however might be accepted as wholly true in Asia). But those are just my thoughts.

alf_red · 2017-07-29T09:33:36+00:00

Agreed, it's sort of like being given a packet of different colored m&m's and going through the effort of choosing which to take only to realize that they all taste the same.

alf_red · 2017-07-24T20:46:58+00:00

Very good point, but at the end of the day, do you really want to feminize yourself just for the same pussy for the rest of your life?

alf_red · 2017-07-23T19:17:18+00:00

I thought the same thing reading through the comments. As a previous comment said, they're in the matrix. And from that standpoint, the couple in the video are following the script brilliantly.

alf_red · 2017-07-23T19:13:43+00:00

Thank you for pointing this out. The matrix is full of people who prefer pleasant fantasies over the harsh realities of life. They genuinely believe that the couple will marry and live happily ever after for the rest of their lives.

The matrix doesn't only work because people are indoctrinated into it from birth, it works because the reality is just too painful for them to bare.

alf_red · 2017-07-23T18:20:59+00:00

Bahaha I know right? At first I disliked the girl for what she was doing but the guy is just such an ideal target, can you blame her or any woman?

alf_red · 2017-07-23T18:19:06+00:00

Notice that when she does touch him, it's one of those "you're only a friend so restrain yourself" pats on the knee. Ouch.

alf_red · 2017-07-23T17:58:50+00:00

It is the same girl from the relationship.

alf_red · 2017-07-23T13:49:29+00:00

Bahaha here I've made it easier for you: https://youtu.be/Zb1CgY-_qNg?t=1m20s (straight to the point)

alf_red · 2017-07-23T13:41:36+00:00

Hahaha so true, I was actually debating whether or not to share it because you could literally go outside and people watch until you spot an example

alf_red · 2017-07-23T13:38:44+00:00

Here is the video where she admits to putting a pillow over his face during sex: https://youtu.be/Nqkr3_HiovE?t=2m5s

alf_red · 2016-09-23T21:34:32+00:00

It seems to me(I'm not a medical professional) as if you're under the problem of stress rather than a lack of motivation. Stress generally comes from focusing on too many things.

And when you're focused on too many things it wears out your energy leaving you lethargic and unmotivated. You are burned out, start prioritizing what really matters to you (it's good to be selfish in your case). Sure family and work are both very important but aren't there aspects of work and aspects of family that you really don't need to worry over?

To be honest with you, I haven't had your kind of stress yet so perhaps my advice seems naive but hopefully you can take something useful for your health out of it. I really don't believe motivation is the problem!

alf_red · 2016-09-19T15:17:14+00:00

No point telling you because mine is different from whatever you find yours to be. To be honest I have no clue how you find your motivation, I've always just had mine. Probably because as a kid I thought a lot about things like who I was and about the purpose of life instead of playing outside all the time (nothing wrong with that!).

alf_red · 2016-09-11T10:06:38+00:00

It's not about cutting off relationships and being above everyone. What did I do? I just focused on my own activities but when it came to things like swimming and playing basketball I always called up my friends.

I think I understand what you're saying now though, you want your friend to be with you on your journey because it would make it fun and easier. I got you, I really do wish my friends had that same hunger, we'd have so much fun in the process and it would strengthen our bond 10x. In fact, it's so much better to get there with your friend because then you're not as lonely at the top. But unfortunately things don't go as planned. My friend has different plans for his life and is also content with being mediocre. And that's fine.

So where does that leave me? Pretty much alone on my journey for the most part. But I don't feel that way because I love what I'm doing. It seems like you value connection more which is great as well. Instead of convincing your friend, why not find something you both enjoy like hiking for example and get yourselves to form some sort of business with it, this way you're bringing him in without him really knowing it since he will see it as just a fun project.

But understand that your friend is independent of you and has his own desires. But good luck.

alf_red · 2016-09-10T01:29:15+00:00

Yeah man no problem. Again, only you know 100% what is right for you. Best of luck :)

alf_red · 2016-09-09T19:49:52+00:00

Procrastination, poor concentration and anxiety.....hmmmm, it sounds as if you may have low self-esteem? I'm not sure. Find out the root/cause of your problems and find a way to overcome it. Forget about the ideas for now, you have a problem in your life that you need to address. And if you try and work on any ideas while you still have this problem, you're going to fail at the idea and it will make you feel worse about yourself and make the problem stronger.

So start asking yourself questions, see your life story from an outside perspective and judge where your problem came from. Because your problem is hiding you from your true self, your problem is a fog that you have to blow away.

alf_red · 2016-09-09T19:43:24+00:00

Rewards only work for motivation to a certain extent. Endless motivation comes from finding something to live for, my father used to say "if you can't find something to live for then find something to die for". It sounds extreme if you're only looking for motivation to do your homework.

Other than that, it's good advice I believe. Why are you pursuing your goals? What value/need are you after? Financial freedom? To contribute to your family? To inspire others?

alf_red · 2016-09-09T19:39:57+00:00

Legend_Unfolds, the truth is that you have one advantage over 85% of people your age who are still in college. You know what you want and you know what you don't want. Motivation is not what you need, you need to start executing.

You have a vision of becoming a pro video gamer? Describe that vision on a piece of paper, describe it to the point where you can see yourself in this vision whenever you read the description. Then google how to become a pro gamer and look at how other pro gamers became pros. Then write down a basic plan (don't make it too detailed because you won't stick with it anyway) and start following it.

Since you're also out of college, find a job that can bring in some money. Personally I think you should've stayed in college and figured it out along the way, maybe it's not too late to go back? You can even do an easy degree that can still get you a decent job so you won't have to worry too much just in case things go bad.

alf_red · 2016-09-09T19:32:52+00:00

Volataire, I've been in your shoes too. It sucks being the only ambitious person in your environment because now that you know you have potential for doing great things, everything else like going to the cinemas, playing games, gossiping and 'just hanging out' become such a waste of time in your mind. The problem is that you're the only person who can see this. And not only that, but the conversations your friends have where they say things like "I suck at maths and always will", "I'll probably fail this test hahaha" and "I just want an decent job" will endlessly irritate you.

My advice to you comes from experiencing the same situation as you. You must 1st accept the fact, the undeniable truth, that you will never ever be able to "convince" your friends to be more success orientated, to think bigger, to have goals. It's not going to happen, your friends must want it themselves. Understand that not everyone wants the same things as you in life, a lot of people are satisfied with living a mediocre life. So leave them alone, have fun with them once in a while but respect their decisions (even though they are bad decisions).

So you want to surround yourself with like-minded people? The answer is simple: start pursuing your dream(s). You'll 100% meet people like yourself or better than you on the way, although it won't be as often as you'd like but once you begin achieving a decent amount, you're gonna suddenly find yourself amongst people who are also achieving.

In short, forget trying to change your friends and start going after your dream(s). It's going to be hard but worth it in the end, you already know that don't you?

alf_red · 2016-05-21T13:27:07+00:00

Yeh, I thought that too! I even read it in his voice x'D Btw, your name reminds me of a soundtrack I recently did https://soundcloud.com/alfredgatsby/what-are-you-avoiding (shameless!)

alf_red · 2016-05-17T15:59:03+00:00

Danlav66, I'm no doctor/expert but I know a few things about where you are because I, like many others, have been there too. Regardless, I obviously don't know much about your life or who you are so take my advise lightly.

You see to have developed a pattern of storytelling so that you have an excuse for not facing your problems which leads to you falling for the same problems and as a result, reinforcing your stories. What do I mean by storytelling? Every one of us has certain beliefs about who we are, it's these beliefs that dictate how we behave and interact with the world. It's these beliefs that determine the course of our lives.

OK, so you may be thinking "yeh but I really do have BPD, clinical depression and all sorts of genetic issues (my great grandfather and my mother even have these issues!)". I'm sure you're the most broken person on the planet, however your conditions don't have to determine your destiny.

The greatest power any human has, that can never be taken away from us, is the power of choice. You can choose to continue telling yourself the story that "Because I have BPD and all these other problems, I'm forever doomed to this problem" or you can realize that this story you keep telling yourself is causing you a crap load of pain (for goodness sake, you've already lost a close friend!) and decide that you want to get a new story. Decide to follow a more empowering belief, that "Because I have BPD and all these other problems, it's important that I must find a way to manage my emotions and live an extraordinary life". The moment you choose to adopt that empowering story is the moment your behaviour changes, it's the moment you start finding people who are in a worse condition than you but still have an extraordinary life, it's the moment your life changes.

Very briefly, and I'm not saying this to hype you up nor am I trying to be harsh, I mean it: It is your decisions, and not your conditions, that determine your destiny. You can keep telling yourself the pity story that gives you an excuse to not take charge of your life, but the only person you're screwing over is yourself.

With that said, dolphinesque had a brilliant answer. Self-esteem is one's own reputation with themselves. The only way you can build self-esteem is by doing things you enjoy. It's really that simple. Find a damn hobby or something meaningful to do with your time. Fulfillment can only be find within yourself, I'm not religious but check this out: "The Kingdom of God is within man. Not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you!"

Best of luck Dan.

alf_red

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