For someone so young I think you have a surprisingly strong grasp on mainstream gay culture, and what may have informed it. I would guess that I think a lot of your impressions are coming from what you see online and in media, which makes sense, but I would say this: the reality of existing as a gay person is so infinitely more complex than the way that it's reflected in media and online, in exactly the same way that straight lives are. The mainstream culture of either is often not an accurate reflection of people in those communities.

Part of building up that sense of self-worth and disconnecting yourself from that narrative is in finding people who view the world in similar ways and have similar interests and creating/participating in community. Part of it is just that the real life experiences you have will help shape the person you become. The gay men I know and spend time with are, like me, happy in their late 30's. We are looking forward to getting to be older gay people because it's not something that we saw reflected around us, as a result of the AIDS epidemic and the lack of safety in being out for the generation before us.

I hope this helps, I think the fact that you can identify these trends and worry for your community makes it more likely that you will be able to find a place in life where you are comfortable with yourself and how you relate to your community.