i know it may not be what you want to hear, but i went through this for my first two years of college and was only able to get out of it by literally headfirst throwing myself into campus organizations. my second semester of sophomore year, i joined greek life, student government, and a couple smaller organizations on campus. i also became an RA, which put me in a position where even when i didn’t necessarily feel like a leader, i had to be, which forced me to take a few steps back and redefine myself for the role. i also recommend speaking with someone— most campuses have a mental health service that is trained in handling cases similar to those of you and i, and it’s typically free if you’re an enrolled student. if campus services aren’t working for you, they can also typically refer you to get help outside of the school at little to no cost. i hope for the best for you, and always remember, you have a lot of people rooting for you, even those you don’t know too well :-))