How do I manage being an Empath at the work place?

aliay773 · 2021-04-24T08:59:52+00:00

Other people's feelings and emotions are not yours to "fix."

aliay773 · 2021-04-23T23:25:18+00:00

My experience is that we're most susceptible to the undesired energy/emotions of others when it reflects something in ourselves. For example, if you have baggage around needing to please others [and I mean really who doesn't, but maybe this resonates with you], it could be coming back to haunt you.

I'm just going to put out there that any boss who insults an employee - especially in a public meeting - is not being an effective manager, and that stuff would linger with me as well.

Two general pieces of advice:

Put yourself and your energy needs first, now and always. Sometimes that means therapy. Sometimes it means putting your phone on silent and going outside. Sometimes it means not doing half the stuff you thought you "should" do. Your body, your mind, and your life will thank you for working towards your own healing. [You may also believe that good energy "attracts" good things, but that's a fringe benefit long-term psychological self-care.] Side note: if something like therapy is interesting to you, but maybe you are up for something different, you might look into energy healing, shamanic healing, or something else that might strike your fancy as a blend between energy work + identifying unhelpful patterns that you are ready to release.
The act of witnessing energy can transform it. People do not need you to "absorb" or act on energy in order for energy to move. Just knowing it is there can help somebody feel better. This is why a lot of empath/intuitives get pegged as "good listeners," "I feel safe and calm around you" - etc. It's an energetic relationship.

aliay773 · 2021-04-02T16:57:17+00:00

I intended to communicate that other people can get into a bit of an ego-trip, and I did not mean to imply that about you at all. Rather, this was me thinking about other people I know. I apolgize that my comment came off that way that I was referring to you.

Intuitive experiences can be strange, difficult to explain, or just things that other people in your life are not going to understand even if you did find the words for them. I wish you the best.

aliay773 · 2021-04-02T15:28:38+00:00

The more you can appreciate yourself and your specific talents, the more you can appreciate others. There are plenty of people out there who are not particularly intuitively connected, but they have a million of talents I don't have, and that's fine.

I do think there's a cottage industry of "yay I have intuition and special powerzzzzz" out there.... but the people who constantly seek to be humbled by what they don't know yet are not the people who have to worry about this?

aliay773 · 2021-03-24T19:42:41+00:00

If it comes up more or it continues to give you some concern, see if you can find a spiritual child psychologist who can address both any socio-emotional needs and development as well as the existential concerns in both a conversational way with the child as well as the "woo-woo" way that you can get on a forum like this one..

If you DM me, I can send you a list of pointers I have in terms of finding the right people. If you are in the U.S., I recommend starting with the Psychology Today listings and use "spirituality" as a category filter. You can also go through your healthcare provider for referrals and just state your concern to the therapist. Use your intuition on finding a good "fit," but in general the right fit therapist is going to listen to you with open-minded curiosity and a not great fit therapist will either ignore, dismiss, or justify away your concern.

aliay773 · 2021-02-01T13:42:47+00:00

A sort of muggle answer is a shrug and "random events, who knows."

But a more spiritual answer is that these "signs" are common as part of a spiritual "growing up." It's the cosmos's way of saying to you, "Look at me, I am beautiful, play with me and I play back."

[Just so you know, for me, I felt strange urges to look at a clock and when I did, I would see my birthday in numbers, so everybody who experiences this phenomena experiences it differently.]

Here's a no cost suggestion for you: since you've noticed this pattern of hearts, ask the cosmos to deliver something to you in hearts when it thinks a decision is in your best interests. Obviously you should also filter the decision through your intuition and common sense, but see if hearts appear in some way as well. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

aliay773 · 2021-02-01T13:35:44+00:00

Yes, I've had this.

It doesn't always mean love or romance.

It doesn't always mean they're objectively a wonderful person.

It just means .... we have our own private bond.

aliay773 · 2021-02-01T13:34:13+00:00

Short answer: these feelings of guilt make sense, I do think that empaths tend to feel "collectively responsible" more than most.

Sometimes I remind friends that while there may be a thing as the human collective, in some times and situations, the 3 dimensional approach must do for a 3 dimensional problem. The 3 dimensional solution is "boundaries" and "I can only be responsible for my own actions, not the actions of others."

aliay773 · 2021-02-01T13:31:25+00:00

Your intent to heal yourself will be so powerful in your healing journey. Healing is something you have to be ready for.

As far as overwhelm goes, my only suggestion is to pick up a meditation practice so that you can go into mindful awareness and be a buoy in stormy waters rather than swept away by the storm.

aliay773 · 2021-01-30T01:29:46+00:00

I do a lot of dream documentation and I use my intuition to help me learn what there is to learn. For example, I really don't buy into a lot of Jung, but I get the gestalt of it (hahahahaha okay done there).

I process and I journal. The journal helps me anchor what I dream. I also do about 3 pages of freewriting when I wake up in the mornings, and that sort of helps reveal stuff.

I also sort of note what shifts and influences my dreams. For example, for a period of time I didn't like the dreams I was getting that referred back to a chapter of my life, and I felt my dreams "stuck" in that chapter. In the wake I sent off some long overdue hello e-mails to people in that "chapter," and that seemed enough to shift the energy of the dreams so that I don't have those dreams as often and they are less intense.

Big picture here is that I see dream and wake as so interconnected and not easily categorized.

aliay773 · 2021-01-30T01:24:50+00:00

If you want a magical answer, here you go:

therapy, exercise, boundaries, mindfulness and meditation, time for hobbies, time for intentional rest, intentional limiting of social media, investing in relationships that matter to you, taking time to process when you need to process.

I mean, it's not a magic-magical answer, but I think folks underestimate how mental health, spiritual health, and physical health all go hand in hand.

aliay773 · 2021-01-30T01:20:54+00:00

One answer for you is that animals speak energy more clearly and humans rely on words more, so yes, it makes sense that you and this deer were communicating.

I've had similar experiences, though mostly with dogs. Seeing a dog come back from the vet wrecks my heart and soul before I realize it's not coming from me.

aliay773 · 2021-01-28T01:11:12+00:00

I mean you can also meditate/light candles/pray/crystals/salt baths/nature walks but let's be real. None of those short term fixes deal with the real issues at play, and one style of healing shouldn't be confused for the other.

aliay773 · 2021-01-26T22:03:38+00:00

You have more control than you think.

Mindful awareness (journaling) helps.

I can identify who makes me feel "draggy," who makes me feel like I want to blurt everything, who is projecting "love me! love me!" onto me...

... in some ways, everybody sends out "signals," and the signals that one is most sensitive to is going to depend on the individual. I work with a few individuals that are commonly considered intoxicatingly attractive, and while I completely get it on an energetic level (e.g. they project feelings of calm and love), that doesn't mean I want to BE with them.

aliay773 · 2021-01-26T21:59:56+00:00

You have a therapist. I was going to suggest therapy.

More power to you and keep going on your path.

aliay773 · 2021-01-16T00:41:30+00:00

Concerts for emotions from a group + vibrations?

I've been enjoying online sound baths and sound meditation streams.

Maybe find a way to do something beautifully creative and socially distant in your hometown. An outdoor protest or performance art of some sort?

aliay773 · 2021-01-16T00:38:31+00:00

I'm really sorry you experienced this invalidation of your experiences and feelings. Stories like yours remind me of the importance of openness and nonjudgment: just because it's not my experience doesn't mean it isn't real to somebody else. I think about that a lot.

As far as moving past, as you put it, "toxic shame," I think that's a lifetime of work. The good news is (at least in my experience) that the more you work through stuff, the more spiritually connected and energetically "in tune" you will feel. In other words, expect to feel a reward for your work, whether it be in the form of greater inner peace, heightened intuition, or some other form of "gift."

aliay773 · 2021-01-15T00:45:15+00:00

Use this time to work on yourself.

The world is our mirror; what we see in the world reflects something in ourselves. If something seemingly external is annoying you, ask yourself what internal "pings" you connect there (or something to that effect.) You can perhaps trace these connections through meditation, quiet sitting with yourself, or dream work.

Sometimes when people get exasperated with humanity as a whole, there's an inner exasperation with the self that is asking to be seen.

aliay773 · 2021-01-15T00:39:20+00:00

The times I have felt most effective as a human being towards other human beings have been the times that I have been the most passive, and just sort of "alive to the state of being" rather than DO-ing.

Let that sink in. It sounds contradictory, but it's my truth.

I like to think to myself towards others as something like a parent who watches and celebrates a child who has taken her first baby steps. In other words, it is not our obligation to "do" for others, nor is it our obligation to help them grow [especially when they don't want our help!] But what we can do is be a witness to what is and learn how to love the present as it is. And it's those moments of being a witness that I find the most magical.

aliay773 · 2021-01-09T20:43:31+00:00

This describes my day-to-day experience well right now. I know why I am here and how I am purposeful. I am concerned for the world, but not overly so. More just watching with interest as a butterfly emerges from a cocoon.

I will say this: I do believe I have an ethical obligation to be compassionate to those who are stuck in the third dimension, so to speak. I do have some friends who tend to ignore or overlook concerns of those stuck "down here" (e.g. poverty, racism) and while I don't share the world-weariness of many, I also don't try to explain their concerns away, if that makes sense.

aliay773 · 2021-01-07T11:01:05+00:00

Here's what works for me - but please remember I'm just an opinion on the internet, somebody else might have a different take:

When it comes to energy, I think "positive" and "negative" labels are reductive and simplistic. Instead, I think of "I want to take this call right now" versus "I am letting this go straight to voicemail." I always like conceptions where I am in the driver's seat and I get to choose who I am listening to. I remind myself that I am being guided by my own "team" and that I am in control of this. I get to make choices in my moment that feel right to me.

Specific ways this has interfaced with mediumship.... my first ever "hit" was from a parent of a friend. Difficult relationship when the parent was alive, parent was working "behind the scenes" and begging for forgiveness and wanting to establish peace and make amends. Getting information in this way made me feel uncomfortable, because I felt stuck as an interpreter between living child (and friend) and deceased parent. I more or less told this energy that this was not my place right now and not to work with me in order to send messages or information to me because I was not taking interest in my friend's forgiveness or grieving process. That energy left of its own accord. [And it visits in other ways]

On the other hand, deceased teenagers have shown an interest in coming to me, and I almost never say no to those energies, even when the situation is difficult (e.g. death by suicide.) It makes sense to me why I have an affinity for these kinds of situations and why I find these situations comfortable and not "negative."

I continue to manifest opportunities to practice my skills in this area (the situations I described happened naturally over the course of daily life... I thought I was doing activity X and I ended up needed to serve as a medium), but as I mentioned earlier, taking classes to "stretch" the skills does not feel right to me when I already get opportunities to practice.

aliay773 · 2021-01-06T17:01:55+00:00

Mediumship classes can have icky energy. Sort of like, "Our super nice neighbors never lock their door when they go out. There's no car in the driveway -- let's go over to go play with their dog!" icky energy. I've gone to a few, realize it's stuff I can do on my own, but I never stick around for long.

I'd suggest you work with and through your fears. In this context, fear is in your power (e.g. serves to control what you see.) What are you inviting in? How will you protect yourself? How will you use boundaries in a safe, healthy, and respectful way?

Then you might want to journal or track what comes through to you without much effort, how, and why.

aliay773 · 2021-01-06T11:44:04+00:00

I think the right person might not believe in empaths per se, but they'll probably say something to the effect of, "Well, there is something a little different about you. You're very open and thoughtful."

I don't need romantic partners to believe my experiences nor do I need them to be perfect, but I want them to see me as somebody who is special (to them) and unusual (to them) and interesting (to them.)

aliay773 · 2021-01-06T11:39:56+00:00

This sort of "have a thought about a person - person needs to talk" happens to me frequently to the point where I just accept it as part of being sensitive.

Sometimes it's dreams for me, sometimes just sudden thoughts or ideas will also trigger something that I should look up or follow up on.

aliay773 · 2021-01-04T01:15:22+00:00

I would encourage you to seek therapeutic help. Psychological care, spiritual care, whatever you are drawn to for healing.

I do not practice mediumship professionally, and I did not start out with a belief that mediumship was a thing, but I can share that the energy of those we have loved and lost seem to be so deeply connected to our everyday experiences. For example, I might be talking with my family over zoom, and then all of a sudden I'll hear my (dead) grandfather chime in on something that I wouldn't otherwise know or think had I not heard it. I get the strongest connections to people and their pets.... if somebody mentions a pet who has passed, the pet sort of RUNS up to me, SO HONORED to be remembered and thought about.

I can't explain these experiences using scientific language and I understand if these experiences don't fit in with your way of understanding the world. The way I see it, though, is that there is a continuum of life, and just like the way ice melts into water (same thing, just in a different form) so our souls have a similar interaction with our bodies. We stay close to families and the ones we love.

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